Mulder shoved a mostly limp Scully into his arms. "Get her out of here!"
"What about you?" His arms automatically supporting her.
"There’s a bomb down there – we don’t have time to get the others out!"
"Then you take her! Let me handle the bomb!"
"You don’t know where it is, and I don’t have time to show you! Go!" Skinner nodded and lifted Scully over his shoulder.
He’d come out of the building on the opposite side from their cars. No problem, he just needed to get her away until Mulder could join them. She was stirring, beginning to struggle against him.
"Mulder, put me down! I. . . Skinner? What?"
"Mulder had me get you out of there, he’s – "
"The bomb! Mulder!" She broke away from him, headed back toward the building. He grabbed her, pulling her back to him as he felt the hot wind push at his back. Then the concussion picked him up and threw him through the air, slamming him into the ground, covering her with his body. She’d been screaming Mulder’s name until they were slammed back to earth. That knocked the breath out of both of them. He couldn’t hear her but knew she screamed still, if only inwardly. Burning debris was now beginning to rain down on them. They could still easily die here. He regained his feet, pulling her up beside him. She didn’t resist, but she didn’t help either. He staggered a couple of steps before throwing her again over his shoulder and moving as rapidly as possible away from the destruction.
The cars had surely gone up with the building, so transportation was gone. Skinner headed toward the rocks that formed this gorge, there had to be shelter there. If he could climb with her, maybe she’d be able to walk by then.
The heat was growing behind him so he turned. The trees were beginning to catch fire. The area here could act like a chimney. He sped up; he had to get to the rocks. It felt like forever, but finally he was there. "Scully, we have to climb. Can you hear me?" She didn’t respond, but he put her on her feet in front of him. She didn’t resist but still took no initiative. He took her hand and she followed him up the slope. It was getting dark; the cloud cover wasn’t helping. Shit, was that rain? That wouldn’t help the climb. They had to find a crevasse, someplace to rest, get out of the rain. He was bleeding in several places from the shrapnel. She probably was too. Damn it was really starting to come down. At least the threat of fire should be down.
There, was that a crack in the rocks? At least they could stand out of the rain for a few minutes. He pushed Scully in, shielding her with his body. The flash of lightning caused her to jerk violently – the first reaction he’d seen from her since he’d snatched her up. But the light had also shown him that this crack in the rocks extended back. Maybe it was a cave. They could certainly use a break. The next burst of lightning showed him the entrance and he pushed her through it. They stood just inside the entrance until the next flash of light. The floor was even, with debris scattered around. He tried his flashlight, broken. She didn’t seem to have hers.
"Come on Scully, we should be safe here."
She didn’t seem to hear him. She was drenched and her skin was cool to the touch. She was going into shock. Come on, Skinner, think! What’s in the debris? Kids obviously used this place; there were beer cans. He sat her down; it was like moving a mannequin. Then dropped to his knees to feel around. He stacked the cans near the entrance, piling the papers and leaves together. If kids were coming here they were probably smoking too – tobacco or pot. That meant matches or a lighter hopefully. He needed to get her warm. There wasn’t enough wood for a real fire, but maybe he could heat this small area for a while.
Yes! Matches. Well, he wasn’t so warm himself, huh? He forced his hands to stop shaking long enough to strike the match. The dead leaves caught quickly and with the light that generated, he found the branches that were available. Well, that should last a little while.
He turned back to her. She was still where he had sat her, but now she was trembling violently. He moved to her quickly and saw that her eyes were dilated. Definitely shock, and she was soaking wet. "Scully, can you hear me?" No response. Okay, first he had to get her dry.
He stripped off her jacket and blouse. She had been cut by the shrapnel too. He took her shoes and then worked her slacks down her legs. He began massaging her body to stimulate her circulation. He stopped long enough to strip off his own soaking clothes and added a couple of branches to the fire, spreading the wet clothes out to begin drying. His t-shirt was only damp, not really wringing wet, so he held it close to the small fire and after it was heated, slipped it over her head. Once she was covered, he reached underneath and removed her bra before it could drench the t-shirt. He moved her closer to the fire and lay her down facing it. He fed the rest of the wood to the fire, then spooned around her to share body heat. Her trembling was lessening, but she was still completely out of it. He didn’t have a clue what to do for her.
He must have dozed. The fire was almost out. She had turned in his arms. What the. . . she was kissing him, running her hands over his chest. "Scully, wake up."
"Mulder. . . hold me, Mulder."
"Scully, it’s Walter. I’m not – " Her mouth covered his. What was she doing? He grabbed her hand as she encircled his cock. "Scully, stop."
"Please Mulder. Please." She was pressing herself against him, obviously not hearing him. She really thought he was Mulder. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t let her do this. He grabbed for her hand again as she eluded him. Damn she was determined and part of him was beginning to agree with her.
"Scully, stop. You’re not awake, you don’t know. . . " His words turned into a groan. How long had it been since a woman had. . . oh god. He had to stop this. Now what was she doing? He must be suffering from more shock than he realized himself. He was most assuredly not in control of this situation. She was over him now, holding him in place, impaling herself. . .
"Scu. . . " He couldn’t even finish the word. She had complete control and she thought she was making love to Mulder. She hadn’t processed his death, but then neither had he. If he forced her to face reality right now how much more damage would he do? Okay, a rationalization, but the woman had him by the balls, literally. He couldn’t hold back any longer. She shifted, taking him even deeper. As he came she threw back her hand convulsing with him. It was too dark, he couldn’t see her eyes. Did she realize yet who he was? Apparently not, she collapsed down into him and with a sigh seemed to return to sleep. What the hell had he just allowed to happen here? He could lose his job, hell; he could go to prison – probably should for taking advantage of her. Well okay, she’d taken advantage of him possibly – that would hold up well in court, an ex-marine being raped by a 95-pound woman. Her movement in his arms brought him back to the present. She probably wouldn’t even remember what had just happened, especially with the state she was in. He’d just look after her the best he could and store this memory in some deep vault never to be replayed ever.
He felt his own eyes growing heavy again and her quiet even breathing against his chest was soothing. Give it up Walter, you can’t change anything that’s happened.
*****
Her movement woke him. It took him a couple of seconds to orient himself. Why was Scully lying in his arms here on the ground? Oh. Memory hit with the force of a train. Was she okay?
"Scully?"
She drew away from him slightly. "Walter? The explosion, it wasn’t a. . . ?"
"Nightmare? No. Are you okay?"
"Mulder couldn’t stop it. He wasn’t here."
"No, Scully. He wasn’t."
"Then I. . . you. . . "
"I’m sorry Scully. I should have. . . "
"I thought. . . " Tears had formed in her eyes. This dream was rapidly turning into memory. It had happened, she had made love to Walter when he saved her. Walter, not Mulder.
"I know. I tried, I should have forced you. . . " He didn’t know what to say. It had felt like he couldn’t stop her last night, now he felt weak. He had used her; he should have stopped the situation.
"It’s not your fault. And it wasn’t fair to you."
"Fair to me? What. . . ?"
"I used you. I was out of my head and I . . . "
"Scully, don’t think about it. We can just put it down as a dream, part of the nightmare from last night."
"You saved my life."
"You’ve saved mine a couple of times."
"I need to thank you." Her hand caressed the stubble on his cheek, and she brought her body back into contact with his.
"God, Scully, the last thing you should do is thank me."
"No. You let me say goodbye to him." Tears were flowing now. "You could have stopped me."
"I should have."
"No." She repeated. "I needed. . . that saved my life as much as anything else you did. Thank you, Walter." She let her head fall back to his chest and he held her quietly, giving her time. They needed to get out here, search, see what needed to be done. But Dana needed this time, even if they could ill afford it and he was going to give it to her.
*****
"Angie’s not at her desk." Scully let herself into his office. He looked up startled, then wondered why. She had been here a lot lately. "Are you planning to be here late?"
"Uh, no, I’m almost ready to go."
"I thought we could get something to eat." She settled herself on his couch.
"Oh, uh sure. I’ll just be a couple of minutes." He began shutting down for the day. He hadn’t expected her. Was she okay? She’d never spent so much time with him, not that he was complaining.
He slipped the last file in his briefcase and stood. "Where would you like to eat?"
"It doesn’t matter. Wherever you want."
She just doesn’t want to be alone, he realized. He and she had a connection now, one he had never anticipated, even in his wildest dreams.
After dinner, which she more pushed around than ate, he offered to take her back to the office for her car. "Look, you have work to do, maybe I could help you. We can go to your place and work."
"Okay. That’s fine." He was trying to visualize his apartment. When did his cleaning woman come in? Oh hell, she wasn’t coming over for an inspection. They walked to the car and he held the door for her, then turned toward his apartment.
He opened the apartment for her, allowing her to enter first. She’d never been here – he had good taste, nice furniture, even art on the wall – framed. Not like Mulder’s apartment at all. She shoved that thought away brutally. She couldn’t think about him, wouldn’t think about him, not yet. Maybe not ever – she couldn’t imagine when.
At first Skinner tried to play host, but she assured him she didn’t want that and had him boot up his computer and open his briefcase. He finally told her to make herself at home since she obviously didn’t want him hovering and he did get down to work.
He was finishing a report when he realized he hadn’t seen her in awhile. He saved his document and went into the kitchen. Not there, not in the guest room either. Well, he knew she hadn’t left. He headed into his bedroom and spotted her clothing folded neatly over the chair. She was there, sound asleep in his bed. What was going on? Was she that anxious not to be alone? That wasn’t the Scully he knew, but she only half existed now he realized. Yes, there was plenty of room, it was a king-size bed. He sank into the chair, avoiding her clothes.
She didn’t love him. He knew that. And he wasn’t being fair to either one of them letting her stay. Especially since he was in love with her and had been for years. He’d never thought of himself as weak, yet this woman had taken over his body and mind without even a struggle on his part.
*****
Slowly but surely her things began appearing in his apartment. Drawers were rearranged and cosmetics took over half of his bathroom. He didn’t want to admit how much he was enjoying having her with him. He’d thought he was in love with her before. Now, after living with her he knew he’d only scratched the surface.
"Dana." He pulled her closer to him in the bed. He was almost accustomed to having her there. "You know we’re the source of the best rumors at the Bureau right now. I’m getting concerned about your reputation."
She caressed his cheek. "My reputation isn’t that important to me."
"Well it is to me."
She took a deep breath. "Then let’s get married." He gaped at her, unable to form a response. "The thought that distasteful?" She smiled at him.
"Dana, you don’t have to. . . "
"Why do you think I don’t want to?"
"I know I’m not Mulder, Dana. I know you don’t love. . . " Her fingers touched his lips.
"That’s not. . . Walter, that’s a different issue. Mulder’s gone." She still couldn’t say dead, even after all this time. "We’re here, I’m here because I want to be. But. . . "
"What?"
"Walter, I can’t give you children."
"That’s not a problem for me Dana. I’m kind of old to start a family now anyway. But you, you’re still young enough to adopt or. . . "
"No." That was all she said, but it closed the discussion.
He let her be in silence for a moment, then, "Do you want a wedding?"
"No. I want us to go to a justice of the peace as soon as possible. Just the two of us, and my mother please."
"Of course. Your brothers?"
"No. Just Mom."
"When do you want to do this?"
"Friday."
"Friday? That’s. . . that’s only two days."
"Do you want to wait?"
"No! I don’t, but Dana, are you sure?"
"I’m sure I want to be with you Walter. I already am, this is just to shut up the mouths at the Bureau. We’re already together."
He dropped it. If she wanted it this way, fine with him. They’d really be together. He wouldn’t wake to that small fear in the back of his mind every morning that she wouldn’t be there. They’d belong together in the eyes of the world.
*****
Marriage was better than he had anticipated, better than he remembered. But he and Sharon had never shared what he and Dana did. They couldn’t, Sharon would never have understood. He still missed her and regretted her death at such an early age, but he was whole again. It helped him too, to know that Dana could continue to love Mulder and not have it come between them. He understood, he had loved before as well. She could draw comfort from the fact that Mulder’s final wish had been to get her to safety. Now Walter’s life was better than ever.
*****
Angie wasn’t at her desk when Dana arrived, so she tapped on the door and opened it. She knew he had planned no meetings for this afternoon. They had tickets to the show. She smiled, he was so good to her. Once a week they always had a date. They both needed the time together away from the office and he came up with the most wonderful romantic ideas. It was a side of Walter she’d never even imagined. He was just so good to her.
"Walter, are you ready? Walter!" His complexion was positively gray. His breathing was shallow and from the door she could see the beads of sweat on his forehead. She was at his side instantly. "Are you having chest pains? Sweetheart, can you speak?"
He looked up then, probing her eyes. "I’m okay."
"You are not. Try to take deeper breaths." She was removing his tie from where he’d already loosened it. His pulse was rapid and thready. "I’m going to call 911, just try to remain calm."
"Don’t call."
"Sweetheart, I think you’re having a heart attack. I want to move you to the couch. Let me help you." He allowed her to take his arm and walked to the couch. She elevated his feet and rushed into his private bath. She came back with a glass of water and a couple of aspirin.
"Take these. Let me help you."
"Dana, I’m not having a heart attack. I’m okay." He tried to sit up, but her hands on his shoulders forestalled the movement.
"I’m the doctor in the family, Walter." She took his pulse again. It was slower and stronger. What was going on?
"I just want to go home Dana. I’m fine." This time he didn’t let her keep him from rising to a sitting position. "Please, Dana. Let’s just go to the apartment."
Her eyes showed her concern. He knew she did care for him, maybe she’d even grown to love him a little. Now he didn’t know if that was good or bad.
She took a deep breath, "Okay." And put the aspirin in his hand. "We’ll go home, but if anything changes I’m taking you to the hospital myself. I’m driving." She watched him swallow the tablets.
"Yeah. That’s probably a good idea. I’m sorry I scared you Dana."
"You’re still scaring me Walter. I’m taking you home against my better judgment. I need to know what happened, what brought this on."
"Let’s go home Dana. We can talk there." She insisted on holding his arm on the way to the car, even opening the door for him. He allowed it rather than argue with her. The thoughts of fighting with Dana right now drained what energy he had left.
She kept watching him. His color was better and his breathing was back to normal. It didn’t make sense. He’d had his annual physical a little over a month ago and passed with flying colors, even the stress test. She’d have known if he were feeling ill. They spent a lot of time together and she was in his arms every night. But she’d been sure he was dying when she’d walked in his office.
They were home. This time he didn’t wait for her to open his door and took her hand to hold rather than let her support him. She shot him the eyebrow but he didn’t back down.
Once inside he was the one who sat her on the couch, then disappeared into the bathroom. He returned with a glass of water and two capsules. "I want you to take these Dana."
"Walter, what. . . you’re the one that’s ill."
"Please." He held them out to her.
"What is it?"
"Seconal."
"Sleeping pills? No, what if you need me in the night? Besides my tolerance is low for those, I’d never need more than one."
"Please Dana." She tried again to read his face but he was carefully impassive.
"If I take them, will you tell me what’s going on?"
"Yes."
She still hesitated, "I only need one Walter."
"Take them both, Love." Her eyes widened at the endearment, he so rarely used them. She knew she could trust him, she knew how much he loved her. His actions were just so confusing.
She took the capsules in her hand and after another moment tossed them back and brought the water to her lips. He was watching her closely, so she didn’t attempt to deceive him. After placing the water back on the coffee table she opened her mouth to prove she had indeed swallowed them.
"Do I get a reward?" She asked lightly.
He didn’t respond for a moment. "I guess you do." He took her hand; "I received some information this afternoon and had just finished verifying it when you walked in. Dana, Mulder has been found. He’s alive."
She didn’t react at first. She’d built such a shield around herself where Mulder was concerned that any mention of his name caused her to retreat. Finally her eyes searched his. "Alive?"
He nodded, waiting. "I have to go, I have to see. . . " She was on her feet and he had hold of her when she swayed. Now her eyes locked on his, "Damn you, Walter. That’s why. . . I have to. . ."
"I’m going to check on him as soon as you’re asleep. I need to see him before you go. I’ll be back to get you." He was helping her into their bedroom and lay her on the bed, removing her shoes and pulling the afghan over her. He sat beside her on the bed and kissed her forehead. "I hope you can forgive me later, but I’m doing this to protect you. If you wake before I get back, please wait for me here. Don’t go to the office. Please Dana."
She looked at him, not speaking but finally nodded. Her eyes were already closing. She’d known it was a mistake to take those pills especially on an empty stomach. But it had not crossed her mind that Walter would ever hurt her. Why did he need to see Mulder first, what was he going to say to him? What would she say to him? He watched a tear escape her eye and caught it as it trailed down her face. He hadn’t felt this kind of despair since Sharon had died.
*****