Chance Encounters (the dark side cont.) (R)

New Page 3

He didn’t want to risk waking her, so he didn’t turn on the television or music. He wandered around the apartment, touching things, familiarizing himself again with the only place he viewed as a home. When he heard her stir he poured her a cup of coffee and tapped on the bedroom door.

"Come in." She sat up and adjusted the pillows behind her, then accepted the cup he offered. He started to pull a chair closer to the bed, but she patted the mattress for him to sit beside her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Is Mom here?"

"No, she needed to run some errands. She told me . . . she told me to look after you." He managed a sad smile. "I guess she doesn’t know . . ."

"She knows we had a falling out." He wanted to laugh at that, such an understatement should have been funny.

"She obviously didn’t tell you what was wrong with me."

"No. She said we had to ‘work things out’. I know that’s not possible, but I’m here. Scully, what is wrong, if it’s not the cancer, why did you take a leave?"

She sighed, this was inevitable but still, "I went into pre-term labor. They were able to stop it, but my doctor put me on full bed rest for now."

"Pre-term . . . " For the first time he allowed himself to look at her, really look at her. His eyes widened and he paled slightly. "Is it . . .?"

She was watching him closely, not entirely sure what she wanted to see. "It’s yours. There’s no other possibility."

"But how . . . " He watched her eyebrow rise though she made no comment. "I mean, I thought you were . . . oh hell."

"I know." She finally gave in and took him off the hook. "It wasn’t something I expected. ‘My theory’ is the chip in my neck, when it sent my cancer into remission it also ‘cured’ other things. But it’s not something that I would have thought to check."

"And you kept it, even after . . . "

"Of course I kept it. There was never a decision to be made in that area."

Now his eyes were locked on hers. "Why didn’t you tell me?"

She looked away from him then, adjusting the sheets, nervous for the first time. "I was in denial for a long time. When I finally . . . I didn’t know how you’d feel, I didn’t want you to think I was after child support or . . . or anything."

"Oh god, Scully. Did you really not know how I’d feel? Did you really think I wouldn’t want to be part of this, even though I know I don’t deserve to be."

Her shoulders relaxed, "Mulder, what happened? What happened that night?"

He rose then, pacing as he thought. "I have tried to figure that out for months. The drinking was no excuse, but it was a catalyst. Seeing Jessie touching you, kissing you, so casually as though he’d always done it. As though you belonged to him. Then you came over to my apartment and I could smell his aftershave on you. I went crazy – years of frustration just came . . . this isn’t an excuse Scully, it’s not even a good explanation, it’s just . . ." He glanced heavenward, there was nothing he could say to fix this.

"It’s just the truth." He looked over at her then and nodded. "Mulder that’s just Jessie’s way. I’ve known him for years, but he would probably have put his arm around you if I’d had the chance to introduce you. By the way, he’s gay."

"Oh god." He slumped down on the foot of her bed. "You’re not serious?" She nodded, with something very close to a smile in her eyes. As he watched her she shifted, and brought her hand to her stomach. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, she’s just kicking." She was unprepared for the look of naked hunger in his eyes at that remark. "You . . . you want to feel?"

"May I?" His voice was shaking but he didn’t care.

"She’s half yours." He moved closer and held out his hand tentatively. She took it and placed it on her stomach. "Feel that?"

Her eyes teared at the look of awe on his face. "She?"

"Yeah, we’re having a girl. Hope that’s okay with you." He looked up startled and saw that she was smiling now.

"You don’t . . . you don’t hate me?" He was floundering here; he certainly hadn’t expected any degree of acceptance. He’d come because he couldn’t stay away, not when he knew that she was ill, but he’d expected to be met by a gun at the very least.

"No, I don’t hate you. It wasn’t exactly my dream encounter, you hurt me and worse, you scared me. But you also gave me something I never . . . something I’d given up on wanting." She touched the gray hair at his temple. "You’ve punished yourself much more than anyone else could have."

"Does," he had to clear his throat, his voice was so weak he wasn’t sure she could hear him even this close. "Does that mean you’ll allow me to be a part of this?"

"Do you really want to be? You’ve never talked about children."

"You couldn’t have them, there was no need." Her eyes widened at that. "Besides, I don’t have any experience, even any model to follow for fathering. But I want to try Scully. Please."

Her face grew serious again, "Mulder, I saw a side of you I didn’t know existed. After nearly eight years, and suddenly you . . . I don’t know if I can . . . trust you the way I did before. I have to protect my daughter, your daughter. I have to do what’s best for her now."

"I know. I agree, but Scully I need a chance to earn your trust again."

She drew a deep breath, "I have to ask, I have to know, did you ever do anything like that before?"

He touched her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. "No Scully. Never. I would have sworn to you that I wasn’t capable."

"Your other relationships - "

"You know both of my other ‘relationships’. You’ve met Phoebe and Diana. They had a lot in common actually, besides me. They both excelled in deceiving me with other men. For Phoebe it was a game to see how many times she could win me back. Diana, I wasn’t enough for her either. I don’t know what she needed, but it was more than me." He found her hand in his. "Scully, I never had a relationship like the one I had with you. You are the only person in my life who has never betrayed me. When I saw Jessie hold you, kiss you I was back - it threw me into a nightmare. I believed you were doing what they had done and I realized . . . I knew then that I had never loved them, not like I did you." Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "I wanted to hurt you, because you were doing what they had done, but it was so much worse coming from you. It matters with you."

"Mulder it was a simple kiss."

"No. He was kissing you. I snapped Scully. That’s what I can’t forgive myself for – I should have trusted you. I should have – "

"Mulder, we can’t change it." She gave a slight smile, "I don’t want to change part of it."

"We shouldn’t be doing this now. You should be resting. I promised your mother." She took a deep breath and nodded, settling down in the bed. He pulled the covers up around her and stood. He stopped at the tap on the door.

"Dana, Fox, I know I’m back earlier than I said, but I needed to . . . " She sighed. "Have you had any contractions?"

"A couple. Very mild."

"Wait, wait a minute – you’ve had contractions since I’ve been here? Why didn’t you say something?"

"Because I knew you’d freak."

"Shit, Scully, I . . . " He remembered Mrs. Scully too late, "Sorry."

"It’s okay. Dana, you should have your legs elevated. Fox, why don’t we let her rest for awhile?"

"Mom, I’m doing better, really."

"I can see that." Maggie glanced over at Fox and smiled.

"Mom." Scully rolled her eyes, matchmaking, now?

"Regardless, you need to rest. I’m pulling rank." She tugged Mulder to his feet.

"You’re not . . . are you leaving?" She couldn’t quite look him in the eye.

"Not until you throw me out." He was looking her in the eye now. She nodded and he was willing to swear she actually looked relieved. The tension in his shoulders decreased visibly.

"Come on Fox." Maggie led him from the room. "I’m going to fix you some lunch, come help me."

He ate with the first real appetite he’d had in months and she let him enjoy it, not forcing any conversation. When he sat back finally and turned to her, she sat waiting for him to speak.

"Is she okay? I mean really?"

"You’re the best medicine she could have. She looks better already – there’s good color in her face, she says she’s only have a couple of contractions. Her doctor was very encouraging. You didn’t know about the baby when you came here, did you?"

"I don’t know what she told you . . . "

"It doesn’t matter, you’re here now."

"If I had known I’d have been here sooner."

"I know that Fox." She patted his hand.

"Mulder!" He was across the room before Maggie processed the sound.

"Scully, I’m here. What . . . " That’s when he realized she was asleep. He slowed, afraid again suddenly. Was she having a nightmare about, about what he’d done to her?

"Mul . . . " She opened her eyes and scanned the room, spotting him near the door. "I didn’t dream it, you are here."

"Is that a good thing?"

She sighed, "Yes. She needs both of us now. I’m, I’m glad you’re here." He didn’t attempt to speak as she reached out her hand to him. Maggie retreated when she saw the gesture. They didn’t need her right now.

*****

He was reading the paper when Mrs. Scully returned. He took her bags from her and carried them into the kitchen. They visited as they put away her purchases. He reassured her that there had been no problem while she was gone and that when he had checked on her last she’d been peacefully asleep. He’d barely finished his sentence when they heard her.

"Mom!" It was half cry, half moan.

"Oh no." Mrs. Scully tried to put the box her was holding on the counter and rushed from the room. Mulder caught the box before it could hit the floor. She’d called for her mother, but he couldn’t stay away.

"Try to relax Dana, stay calm. I’ll call Linda." She met Mulder at the door. "Stay with her Fox. I’ll be right back." She didn’t wait for a response, moving past him.

"Scully, Scully hold on."

"Mulder – "

"I’m not going anywhere."


He watched the tears overflow her eyes and took her into his arms. "I don’t want to lose this baby. I thought the problem was over. Mulder, I want her so much."

"Just relax Scully. I’ll do the worrying now. Let me hold you." She continued to cry, but as he reclined beside her, let him hold her, comfort her. He placed his hand on her stomach. "Let me look after you." She closed her eyes, allowing him to soothe her.

When her mother reappeared in the doorway he looked up and shook his head, motioning for her to be quiet. She was relaxed now and hadn’t had a contraction since he’d taken her in his arms. Mrs. Scully nodded and retreated a short distance to continue talking on the phone

She woke slowly, her hand automatically moving to touch her stomach. Her hand met his there. "Mulder?"

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

She paused then, doing a mental inventory of her body. "Good. I feel pretty good." He smiled down at her. "How long did I sleep?"

He shifted to see the clock. "A little over seven hours."

"Seven? And . . . you stayed?"

"There’s no where else I want to be, Scully."

"The contractions . . . "

"If you’ve had one it was too mild for me to feel. Maybe she just wanted me here." Her chuckle was cut short as the baby moved under his hand. "I think I need to hang around." She nodded, unsure what to say. "Scully, there’s something else. I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but just listen – just for a minute." He looked so earnest, and . . . and more than a little frightened. "I want to marry you. Wait, I’m not . . . I’m not asking that you be a wife to me. I would never force myself on you again, but Scully, she deserves two parents. I don’t want her born out of wedlock. This way she’ll be legitimate, if anything happens to me, she’ll be protected legally." He felt her tense up. "Scully?"

"Happen to you? What do you think – "

"Nothing. Scully, nothing’s going to happen to me. Or to either of you. But I want her protected, and you. Everything of mine will be yours."

"You want to . . . to marry me?"

"Yes. Scully, lying here, holding you . . . I mean it, I expect nothing from you. You don’t have to take my name; we don’t have to share a room. I just want to look after you and her."

"Mulder, I . . . I don’t – "

"I know I’m springing this on you. Now isn’t a good time, but . . . Scully I need you to be thinking about it. Please."

She was quiet for so long he felt his confidence vanish. Twice he started to speak but managed to stop himself.

Finally she spoke, not turning to look at him. "Mulder, I . . . I understand what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it."

He felt the final prop go out from under his shattered life. She couldn’t even give him this. "Mulder, I’m able to support her financially. That’s not what I . . . Mulder, she needs a father. I don’t want to get married to have a meal ticket. I want to get married because I love the person. I want the person I marry to want to be with me."

What? What had she said? "You . . . you think I don’t want . . . "

"Well, it doesn’t sound like it. You want to support the baby, but you don’t want to share my bed." She closed her eyes. Where had she gotten the courage to say that? He wasn’t offering a love match. He was doing what she had feared – child support. He was offering child support.

"Scully," He was afraid to speak, but even more afraid not to. " Would you ever allow me to share your bed?" She turned then in his arms, startled. "Scully I said I would never force you. I never said I didn’t want to share your bed."

There was another long pause as she read his face, probed his eyes. "We should . . .we should wait – see if I’m able to carry her."

He shook his head. "I need to be here for that. Together, I think together she has a better chance."

A single tear escaped her eye. "I’m afraid." It was a breath, barely audible.

"I said I wouldn’t push you, but here I am, doing it again." He shook his head, and started to move away, give her space.

"Don’t." He stopped, watching her.

"Tell me what you want Scully. I accept whatever you say."

"I want you to stay. I need you to stay. We can . . . we can work out the rest."

He nodded and gathered her against him, breathing easier than any time in months. She was giving him a chance. It was more than he deserved. He wouldn’t risk messing this up again. She’d allowed him this close – he would earn more. He had to – this woman and the child she carried were the most important things in the world. He knew it and he’d admitted it to her. She was right; they could work out the rest.

Links to other sites on the Web

Home

Donna's Stories

Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter,10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended.