He rose then and headed for the couch. She watched him go unable to speak. He made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch, his jacket thrown over him to leave her the blankets. He lay his arm over his eyes to block his view of her.
She couldn't take her eyes away from him. What did she want? Part of her wanted him so badly she ached, and part of her was so scared it was hard to breathe. She'd learned years ago not to count on other people. Every time she'd made a friend they'd moved. She'd lived in her apartment in DC longer than any place with her family. Only her family had been constant, now her father was gone, her sister dead and her older brother estranged. And at least the last two things could be tied to this man. Mulder was the longest relationship she'd ever had. He meant everything to her - there had never been so intense a . . . a commitment, a feeling of belonging with anyone. Yes they fought, but it didn't tear them apart. If anything it drew them closer. They hadn't been away from each other for more than a few days in seven years, yet she looked forward to seeing him every morning.
What more did she want from a relationship, from a man, than this? Except, of course, the physical. She closed her eyes then, that was what had brought her to this point to begin with. Why had he kissed her? Why had he stirred all of this up? She had been . . . content; at least she'd learned to live with it. She didn't need the physical, honestly, but she did need Mulder. And part of that entailed the physical. She'd always known this would happen eventually. Yet even after all these years she was still surprised, still uncertain. No that was Scully. Dana knew what she wanted; Dana had known for a long time how much she wanted this man. Maybe Dana was the smarter, the stronger, of the two. Now or later, there did seem to be an inevitableness to this.
"Mulder, Mulder come back to the fire. It's too cold over there."
"Scully, I'm - "
"Dana. The name is Dana."
That jolted him into moving his arm, half rising, his eyes opened wide. She smiled and reached for him.
When he still seemed unable to move she rose from the mattress and approached him. He didn't have a clue what to say to her. Dana?
"It's cold, please." He took her hand and allowed her to lead him back to the fire. His eyes were searching hers, but not believing what he was finding. "Let me warm you."
"Scu . . . Dana." He amended at her look; "You don't have to - "
"Be quiet." She put her hands on his chest. "I don't know how to . . . how to get into this with you." Speechless, he let her continue. "I'm afraid of this, of you, of us. I'm a pretty lousy judge of men."
"Thanks?" He needed to get into this conversation with her.
She couldn't help but chuckle. "Sorry, I didn't mean you. If we move forward, are we going to find out we're not right for each other? Not compatible?"
"You haven't run from anything else I've put you through. If I'm that bad a lover, you can tell me. I'm trainable."
The word lover, coming from his lips, had touched something in her. She could feel her body responding to him and he still wasn't touching her, she was holding him. She managed to nod and he seemed to relax slightly. Now his hand came up to brush her cheek. "Do you trust me?"
She swallowed hard, "You know I do."
Now he nodded and pressed his lips to her forehead, letting his hands run up and down her back. He wanted to feel her skin, but the room was cold, that would have to wait. His lips were moving down her face, tasting her, loving her. Her hands moved up to him now, feeling the muscles in his chest, wanting to feel his weight on her again.
She fumbled with his t-shirt, pulling it from his slacks and moving her hands inside. He smiled though he didn't stop kissing her. She was getting into this. That gave him permission to do the same. The feel of her skin under his hands caused an immediate physical reaction that was painful in its intensity. Scully had caused him hard-ons before, but not like this. Then her hands were on his belt, unbuckling it, lowering his zipper. He groaned into her neck and his hands tightened on her back.
Oh god, she'd freed him from the painful confines of his clothing and had her hot hand around him. Unfair advantage, he was at her waistband now and he could feel her smile as he undid the button and slid his hand into her most private sanctuary. She was so wet, her body wanted him even if her mind was still ambivalent.
Well he was certainly warm; in fact part of him was burning up. He pulled his sweater and t-shirt off and when she reluctantly released him, did the same for her. He sat up, keeping the blanket over her as he tugged off her slacks and then his own. Then he was against her, using their combined body heat to sustain the warmth.
"There's so many things I want to do with your body Dana. I wish we were on a warm sunny beach, and I could gaze at you, make love to you in a hundred different ways. But right now that's not really possible."
Her hand was around him again. "I don't need that. You, what I need is you."
Those words, coming from her lips - he'd never dreamed what a rush that would give him. He wanted desperately to be inside of her. She was reading his mind again because she moved under him, bringing him to her core.
He looked deep into her eyes and saw what he wanted, needed. He thrust into her and she rose to meet him, their bodies moving instinctively together - perfectly together.
"Dana, god you're so tight." He held still now that he was deep within her, savoring the feel of her encompassing him, possessing him.
"Not a lot of practice, waiting for you." She managed to reply.
He withdrew almost to the tip and her hands found his butt. He thrust again and enjoyed her moan. "That's good to know. I'm the possessive type."
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed." She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice; her eyes were half closed. He thrust again.
"Did you do this with Ed?"
Ed? That took a second. Oh Ed. "No Mulder, I hadn't known him anywhere near seven years."
Thrust. "Good, I'd hate to have to kill him. Anyone I do have to kill?"
She'd never talked during sex before, but it was right. Everything about this felt right. "No, there's been no one since I met you." That statement gave him a power over her she'd never allowed another man - that felt right too.
The admission nearly undid him. No one since she'd met him? He didn't deserve this, but he had never been happier. "Cold?"
"I don't think I'm ever going to be cold again Mulder."
He brought his hand between them then to stimulate her further and was rewarded with her gasp. No more talk now, she was close and he wanted to wait for her.
She felt her mind shorting out; nothing in the world mattered except his body and what it was doing to hers right now. His fingers moved again and she lost any illusion of control she'd still had, nearly passing out as the convulsions racked her body. "Muld . . . " It was barely a whisper but he heard her. His name on her lips as she came was all it took and he was coming too, holding her tight as he nearly sobbed with the sensations.
She returned to herself first and held him tightly, not allowing him to move from on top on her. "Scully . . . Dana . . . "
"We're one and the same now Mulder. One and the same."
"Well Mister, I donít know how ya done it. We've found you a good ten miles from where your car turned over and in the only building around for another twenty. You must have the tracking instincts of an injun."
Mulder glanced over at Scully, seated beside him as the EMTs examined him now. She smiled at him and mouthed one word. "Spooky."
He decided not to argue.