Coming Home (PG-13)

“I won’t be coming home.”  The line kept ringing in his ear.  “Won’t be coming home.”

“Don’t do this.”  He’d handled it, he’d kept moving.  He’d even walked out to continue an investigation she had dumped in his lap.
He’d shoved it aside and kept moving, concentrating on his investigation.  Allow that investigation to keep him sane in the face of
those words even knowing it was the investigation that had caused them.

But the words wouldn’t leave.  The icy core of his body fed on those words over and over.  Home.  It was what he had created
with her after a long lonely life.  They weren’t married’ in the traditional sense, but he was married to her, committed to her.  “I won’t
be coming home.”

Did she even understand what those words meant to him, even after all this time, all the things they had created between them.  How
could she consider not ‘coming home’?

Where had he found the strength to walk out of that locker room, leaving her behind?  He’d never really left her behind, he couldn’t,
but did she know that, understand that?  Did she know that they were together regardless?  It wasn’t even really a choice any more. 
It just was.  She was his, his life, his reality.

Hadn’t that shown when they continued to ‘run into’ each other?  He automatically turned to her even when he didn’t mean to.  And it
seemed the same with her.  They had been all there was for each other after they had run.  The two of them against the world.  Okay,
that had been tense as well, apart for nearly a year, then together 24/7 but he’d missed her so much that he had relished the closeness. 
Their expectations weren’t the same there.  He had thought he was coming home to a family, to help her raise their son.  She had known
that wasn’t going to be and feared his reaction, but it was true closeness, together in every way finally.  Her body melding to his, joining
with him as it always should have been.

No, that wasn’t true.  In the beginning he wouldn’t have appreciated her and she would probably have run screaming from him if she had
known what he had begun to feel for her.  He wanted to think he had earned his place in her life.  If he were honest he’d have to admit
that it was more likely that he had earned her scorn, but that hadn’t been true.  She had given up her entire life, her job, her family to be
with him.  It had been, well, unbelievable.  She had come with him.

How could she think she could leave him now?

He’d been hurt by her words.  He could admit that.  Did she feel that she could just walk away?  Did she honestly think they were able to
walk away from each other now?

He lay there unable to sleep.

“Mulder?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry and I’m here.  Mulder, I’ll always be here.”  Her arms went around him and his enfolded her.

“I know.”  And I hope that’s enough, he held her close.