Funny, even as he said it he realized he didn’t doubt her story for a minute. He knew it was the truth and he trusted her. That was unusual for him. What was it about her?
"I don’t want them to see me like this. I want to go home, I miss my family and I want to see my mother, but not like this. I couldn’t explain to them. After the baby’s born. . . "
"Yeah? After it’s born, what?"
"I’m not sure."
"Are you going to keep it?"
"I’m fifteen years old. I don’t know what to do with a baby." He nodded in agreement. He hadn’t even babysat, not since his sister disappeared, not that there had been a long line wanting his services anyway.
"What about adoption?"
She looked down and seemed to notice her hand caressing her stomach for the first time. She nodded without looking at him and he realized a tear had escaped and was trickling down her cheek. He couldn’t help himself; he joined her on the couch, not too close, but close enough to touch her. She didn’t draw away and after a moment allowed herself to relax against the hand he had placed on her back.
"Want to change the subject for a while?"
She nodded, accepting the tissue he offered. "Why are you up here this time of year?"
Fair enough, "I wanted to see this place again before I left to go to school. I’ve been accepted to Oxford, so I’ll be in England for a while."
"Oxford?" Her eyes showed her surprise. "You’re that smart?"
He tried to glare at her, but failed. "Probably not. My Dad works for the state department and this is just a sop to keep him happy."
"They don’t do things like that. You have to have the grades or they won’t take you. What are going to major in?"
"Psychology, maybe even psychiatry eventually, if I can hack a medical degree. The human mind fascinates me. The way memory works, why we lean toward one career instead of another." He shrugged.
"I think you’d make a good psychologist. It’s easy to talk to you, I don’t feel," she looked away a moment and then back at him, "judged."
"Why would I judge you? You had no control over what happened to you."
"And the fact that you believe me." She continued as though he hadn’t spoken. "You don’t know me, but you’re accepting what I say. I didn’t expect that."
"You don’t look like you’d lie to me."
"Thanks." She spoke low, again not looking at him. She hadn’t lied, she knew that but to have him believe seemed like a bonus.
He already knew some tricks. Her eyes had not dilated when she spoke and her body language was open. Not as good as a polygraph, but the same basic principal. And he just knew somehow she was telling the truth, stupid because intuition was such a false tool, but there it was. He just knew.
"Why aren’t your parents up here with you?"
He was surprised at the change in subject this time, but answered readily enough. "Dad’s in Europe somewhere and Mom hasn’t set foot in this place since they got the divorce. I still have good memories and I wanted to refresh them before I leave."
"Are you an only child?"
"I am now. My sister, well, she’s been gone six years."
"I’m sorry." That was obviously a painful subject for him, she was sorry she’d asked.
He shook himself slightly to get rid of those thoughts. "What about you? Any brothers or sisters?"
"Two brothers, one older and one younger and an older sister."
"Wow. Big family."
"Catholic." She grinned. "And Navy, so Mom said whenever Dad was in port, we added to the family."
He smiled back at her. She liked her family, that must make it even harder now to be away, alone. If he didn’t see his own family again he wondered if he’d notice.
He realized she was struggling to her feet. "Wait, what?"
"I have to use your bathroom."
"Oh." He was already on his feet assisting her. That earned him a shy smile.
While she was out of the room he headed back to the kitchen area to see what might appeal to her. He was sure she was hungry even if she didn’t want to admit it. One sandwich in three days? He had his head in the refrigerator when she returned. She perched again on the stool to watch.
"I brought one of those frozen lasagnas and some barbecue. What are you hungry for?" He glanced up at her when she didn’t answer.
"Are you going to let me stay here tonight?"
The question surprised him. "Well sure, I mean, I thought we could stay here tonight and then I’ll take you home with me tomorrow."
"Whoa, wait a minute. I’d like to stay here tonight, but then I have to move on."
"Why? If you don’t want to go home where do you have to be?" He was truly puzzled.
"That’s not it. You don’t have to look after me. I can take care of myself."
"Listen, I don’t doubt that. I’d say normally you could probably take care of both of us with no problem. But you are going to have a baby, soon. Do you really expect me to just watch you walk away?"
They watched each other for a few minutes, until she could feel a smile start on her face. "What’s that look?"
"Look?" He asked innocently. That caused a laugh, the first he’d heard from her. "Why don’t we decide what we’re going to do tomorrow? You’re. . . you’re not going to have the baby tonight, are you?"
"I don’t think so." She laughed lightly again. "You choose supper." She said obviously changing the subject. "How long have you been coming here?" Dana watched him in the kitchen. He knew where everything was. Her brothers probably couldn’t even find the clean dishes.
"Oh, we’ve always come here. I think Dad bought the place before I was born. We were here every summer until. . ." His voice trailed off.
His sister, she thought. Say something! "Must be nice to have a place that long. Being a Navy brat we moved at least every two years, sometimes more often. A lot of the houses looked alike. Navy bases aren’t exactly up on new designs, but they were all different. You had to go to new schools, meet new people, hopefully make at least one friend."
"I bet you don’t have any trouble there."
"My sister Melissa doesn’t, and Bill always makes whatever team he tries out for. I guess it takes me longer."
"Do you date? I mean, uh. . . " They both were looking at her stomach now.
"I’m not allowed to date yet."
He couldn’t help it, he chuckled. He hadn’t meant to, but the sight of her on the stool, so pregnant it looked like she’d pop any minute making that statement just struck him as funny. It took her a second, but then fortunately she saw the humor and laughed herself. This was almost as weird as waking in the woods had been. She’d never even really talked to a boy except her brothers. Now. . . for some reason that made her laugh even more.
He was enjoying it until he saw the tears in her eyes and realized this was rapidly turning into hysteria. "Dana?" He had rounded the counter and before he knew it had her in his arms. It didn’t even feel awkward. He held her as her laughter turned to sobs. He found himself mildly surprised this hadn’t happened earlier. She was just a kid, taken from her family, used in a horrible way and now feeling that she couldn’t even turn to them for help.
Fox found himself humbled that she would trust him enough to show this kind of emotion. She didn’t know him at all, they’d met under uncomfortable circumstances a few hours ago and now. . . now part of him didn’t want to go to England and leave her to face what was ahead of her.
Back up, Fox. This isn’t really any of your business and you shouldn’t be involved. Yeah, right. She was beginning to get some control again, so he led her back to the couch and seated her, lifting her feet to the coffee table. "You okay?" He’d been able to feel how agitated the baby was from her emotions.
"Yeah." She wouldn’t look at him and was obviously terribly embarrassed. "I’m sorry."
"No need to be. There’s just me here and I probably wouldn’t be holding up as well as you if the positions were reversed."
She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "You’re a very nice man."
He actually blushed, which surprised her a little. "You just rest a little. I’ll get some food started. If you want to take a nap, the bed would be a lot more comfortable."
"I’m not going to take your bed."
"You are tonight." He held up his hand, "No argument. Why should two people sleep out here and only one in there? I’ll make it up when I get the lasagna in the oven."
"I can make the bed."
"You can help me. Okay? Just sit here a minute and rest." She nodded, the crying jag had exhausted her and standing again just seemed more than she could handle. The next time he glanced over at her she was asleep. He paused in his activity, what she must be going through. He sighed and put dinner in the oven, then quietly went into the bedroom and made up the bed. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days. Should he wake her to move her? Yeah, it would be a while until the food was ready. He leaned over her, brush the hair that had escaped her ponytail from her face.
"Dana?" He said softly. "Let’s move you to the bed."
She nodded wearily, barely aware of his words. He supported her into the bedroom and she was asleep again before he could leave the room. He left the door open in case she needed him.
The aroma of the lasagna brought her out of the room. "How do you feel?"
"I’m fine. Hungry."
He grinned, "That I can fix." He brought her plate to the counter, along with ice tea. She noticed his own plate held about half what hers did.
"I can’t eat this much."
"Eat what you can. We’ll reheat the leftovers later." He was rewarded with a smile and she began to eat.
Afterward she insisted on washing the dishes over his protests, but did allow him to dry and put away. They sat then on the porch and just visited. He was a little shocked at how easy it was to talk to this strange girl especially under the circumstances. She was kind of attractive, and would be even more so if she were at her best and maybe a little slimmer. He’d never been this close to someone who was so pregnant. They were just normal people with another person inside them. Okay.
She had finally asked the date which had led to tears again. The last thing she remembered was a swim party to celebrate the end of summer in August. Finding out it was spring break in April had stunned her. "I missed Christmas, a whole year of school. They think I’m dead." He started to speak, but she stopped him, "I know, but I can’t, not yet."
He shrugged and nodded. A tough decision either way, he found himself wondering how he could possibly handle it.
It wasn’t long before she was yawning again. "Go on to bed Dana. You don’t have to make any decisions or do anything tonight. Just rest and I'm sure you’ll feel better tomorrow."
"I already feel a lot better. Not to have to wake up every few minutes to listen for what made the last sound is nice. Thank you."
He helped her to her feet. "I still feel bad about taking your bed."
"I don’t mind, really and I’m not ready to go to bed anyway. I don’t sleep a lot and I brought some stuff to read."
He woke to the smell of cinnamon buns the next morning. "I hope you don’t mind. I spotted them in the refrigerator last night and figured they were for breakfast."
"You didn’t have to do this. I would have – "
"You’ve done enough for me already." She turned back to the refrigerator and took out the juice that he had brought. From the back he couldn’t tell she was having a baby and he found himself admiring her hips as she bent over. Damn, he was a pervert; she was only fifteen years old.
After breakfast he took a shower and then left the bathroom for her. He dug through the closets until he found an old caftan that his father had brought his mother as a joke from some trip to the south pacific years ago. It wasn’t very attractive and his mother had never worn it, but it should fit her. She couldn’t wear his father’s robe forever and what she’d arrived in wasn’t worth burning. He lay the dress on the bed and left the room before she finished her shower.
She came out wearing the caftan, her eyebrow arched awaiting his response. He smiled but had the good sense not to laugh. Lime green was not her color, but it was indeed big enough for her.
"I need a promise from you Fox."
"Okay." He looked back in her eyes, a much more attractive alternative.
"You’ll never talk about this in the future. You won’t even laugh about it with your new friends at Oxford. This is just too humiliating to ever be discussed."
He didn’t even smile, just took her hand in his. "This is between us. I won’t be talking about it to anyone. But I need a promise in return." She nodded. "Let me know how you’re doing, what happens when you get home. I know I’ll be too far away to be much help, but you can talk to me about it, know someone is on your side."
Her eyes filled at his words and she nodded. "I promise." She finally whispered.
He felt as though he should move back away from her. What was it about her that brought out this protective instinct in him? Okay, part of that answer was obvious, but this was different, it was more. He mentally shook himself.
"You want to take a walk, down by the lake. It’s pretty down there and it’s not too cold."
"I haven’t been cold since I woke up in the woods. I think my internal thermostat’s broken. A walk would be nice, you don’t think anyone will see me in this?"
"Only me." For some reason that caused her to blush and he noted it, but didn’t say anything.
They walked slowly down around the lake; Fox pointing out places and talking about things he’d done here as a child. He offered to take her out in the boat but she declined, unable to see herself climbing in and out of the boat at this time.
After lunch she took a nap while he read. When she woke it was her turn to talk about things she did with her family as they sat on the porch, just being together.
It was cool enough for a fire that evening. They sat in front of it, sipping instant hot chocolate that he had found it the cupboard, just being together and comfortable with it.
She shook her head as though to clear it. "You okay?"
"I feel . . . strange. I don’t know."
"You’re not in any pain?"
She looked up at him then and saw the apprehension on his face. "No. No pain. It’s just a weird feeling, maybe a little dizzy."
"Did we do too much today?"
"Hardly. I’m fine, I shouldn’t have mentioned it."
"Maybe, maybe you should lie down."
"Maybe you should relax." She was watching him now; "You actually look guilty. You haven’t done anything to me except rescue me. Really." That didn’t seem to help. "What happened to you?"
"Me? Nothing."
"Why don’t I believe that?" He shrugged. "You know, I’ve noticed it before. You take on guilt for everything, you even feel guilty that I’m pregnant and you haven’t touched me."
He tried to grin, but couldn’t sustain it. "I’m the reason my sister is gone." There, he’d said it out loud. It was probably the first time ever.
"What do you mean?"
"I was keeping her when she disappeared. I was twelve, she was eight. I was babysitting, I was responsible."
"What happened to her?" She asked this softly, not wanting to stop his flow.
"We don’t know. No one knows. She disappeared. When my parents came home I was there, but I couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell them anything. We never found her."
"Tell me about it." She wanted to hear and his voice kept her from concentrating on the weird feeling that wouldn’t go away. She found herself holding his hand as he opened up to her, the story pouring out of him as though a dam had broken.
*****
She jerked awake with a gasp. It felt like a spike was being driven up her – a burning, tearing agony. When the pain subsided she cried out, "Fox! Oh god, Fox!"
He came awake immediately and raced toward the bedroom. The sight of her writhing on the bed, the sheets fisted in her hands brought him to a dead stop. "Oh shit."
"Do something!" She gasped out.
"Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you to the hospital."
She managed to nod before the groan shook her. He paled noticeable, but there weren’t many options here. He wasn’t about to deliver a baby.
"Do you, do you think you can walk?" He wasn’t sure where to hold her, to help her.
"I don’t think so. God, this hurts! Fox, I need help!"
"Okay, okay! Just don’t have the baby now. Stay calm and don’t push." Her glare at him scared him almost as much as her pain. He’d helped her to her feet now, but she couldn’t straighten up. She was clutching her stomach and leaning heavily against him.
"Take it easy, Dana. The car’s right outside."
"Fox, I can’t do this. It hurts too much. I can’t."
"They can give you something at the hospital. I’ll get you there as quick as I can."
"That better be damn quick." She was groaning again and had doubled over.
"Dana." It was only a whisper. She didn’t try to speak when the contraction ended, only looking up at him, fear plain in her eyes.
He managed to open the door without losing his grip on her. The car was only a few steps away, but they never made it.
The light that struck them was paralyzing in its intensity. He could feel her being removed from his frozen arms but couldn’t move or even cry out to stop it. He’d felt this before, this helpless inability to protect someone he cared about. He couldn’t even turn his head, but could feel her presence now slightly above him and moving away. In his mind he was screaming for them to let her go. Then oblivion.
The two men watched a technician leave with the child. "I don’t understand. Why let her escape temporarily? Why even let them meet if you’re going to erase their memories?"
The second man removed the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled. "A connection has been made. It was necessary, trust me."