Don't Give Up (R)

She let herself into the house quietly and looked around.  He must be in ‘his’ room.  She put her bag on the table and laid her keys beside it.  Then she shrugged off her coat and hung it on one of the hooks on the coat tree.  Even she knew she was stalling, but she had hurt him.

Hurting Mulder was as painful to her as it was to him.  They were together, her histronics about not coming home notwithstanding.  Could she have left, really left him?  She shook her head though there was no one to see.  Why had she said it?  To get his attention?  She had his attention, hell she was all he had now.  And she had used that, even knowing his issues around abandonment. 

He hadn’t mentioned it, just accepting her here.  They needed to talk about this.  That wasn’t something they were very good at even now, expressing their feelings.  Living together they were closer, but . . .  How could she explain, would he let her explain?

With reluctant steps she headed for his room.  She stopped just outside and took a deep breath.  Her hand was on the knob when the door opened and she jumped, startled.

“Scully?  You okay?”

“Yes.  I didn’t want to - “

“Disturb me?” he tilted his head to look at her.

”Uh, yes.”

There was a faint smile on his face.  “Don’t you know you always disturb me?”

She looked up and he saw the fear in her eyes.  His smile faded instantly.  “Scully?  What is it?”

“I . . . are we okay?”

He jerked forward then and his hand grasped her forearm.  “What are you talking about?”

“I, I threatened to leave you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“And you can just forgive me?”

He blinked at that.  “You’re here.”

She looked up at him puzzled.  “Is that enough for you?”

“Is that all you’re giving me?”

“No, no but . . . Mulder, I know I hurt you.”

He shrugged, “It was definitely your turn.”

“Mulder,” she shook her head.  “Don’t.”

He pulled her to him then, holding her close.  His eyes closed in relief when her arms went around him .  He rested his chin on her head and they stood there, just absorbing the closeness of the other for several long minutes.

“This isn’t enough for you, Mulder,” she spoke into his chest.

“If I have you, it’s enough.”

Her arms tightened.

“Let’s get out of here, Scully.”

“What?”  She pulled back and looked up at him.

“Let’s go away, like we talked about.  Can you get some time?”

Scully rolled her eyes.  “Father Ybarra would probably pack for me.”

Mulder grinned.  “Like I’d let him near your lingerie drawer.”

“He’s a priest, Mulder.”

He just looked at her, not bothering with a comment.

She closed her eyes and chuckled.  “You want to go away with me?”

“My one in five billion, yeah, I want to go away with you.  And I want it not to have to be like before.  Not on the run -- relaxing, fun.”

“That sounds nice.”  She leaned against him, pressing her face into his chest.

*****

She stepped off the small helicopter and squinted into the sun.  Mulder already had his sunglasses on.  She dug in her bag for hers.  Once her eyes were more protected she look around.  Mulder watched her mouth fall open.  Maybe the ride in the helicopter was worth it after all.

“Mulder . . . “

“Yeah, I know. Come on, let’s get you out of the sun.”

They hurried to the small building that served as the hangar/airport.  A young man was waiting for them with a jeep.  “Mr. Hale?  I am Arthur.  Good to see you.  Please,” he gestured toward the jeep and opened the door for her.  “Mrs. Hale,” he touched his forehead in a tiny salute.

Mulder climbed into the back with her and she looked over at him.  “Hale?” she mouthed.

He shrugged and gave that devastating half grin

Arthur drove them past a large structure and they got a glimpse of a tropical pool.  “Your cabin is over here.  You have a private beach.  The dining room is open until 10 and room service is available at any time.” He pulled up to a smaller cabin that blended in perfectly with the surroundings.  There was a porch around three sides, and the roof overhung it all, keeping it in shade.

“Your luggage should be here. “  He opened the door for Scully and handed her out as Mulder exited on the other side.  Arthur opened the door and followed them inside. 

Mulder was watching her and relaxed as he saw the smile grow on her face.  The main room was large with comfortable looking teak furniture with cushions in a wild mix of turquoise, lime and fushia.  There was a mirror over the bar with two tall stools in front.  There was a glass table with chairs where they could eat their meals and never leave the place. 

Mulder followed Scully into the bedroom and nearly ran into her when she stopped dead.  The bed was a Hollywood king with the same color scheme as the main room in more muted tones.  Then he realized she wasn’t looking at the bed, she was staring out the glass wall at the most incredible blue water she had even seen.

“Can we afford this?” she whispered.

“Yeah, once in a while we can afford this,” he grinned and turned back to send Arthur on his way.  She heard him place a room service order for the evening, knowing he knew all of her favorites.

She glanced into the bathroom, the Jacuzzi tub was more than big enough for the two of them and the skylight was covered with a shade, shielding the room from the mid-day sun, but able to open for the stars at night.

When he returned to the room, he spotted her unbuttoning her blouse.

“Uh, Scully, the sun’s still pretty fierce out there.  We should probably - “

“Who said anything about going outside?” She turned to him and gave a little shriek as his arm came around her waist and he fell onto the bed, pulling her with him.

“You always were the brains of this outfit,” he declared, taking over the job she had begun on her blouse.

*****

The sun was a great deal lower when they stirred again.  Scully sat up and looked out the glass doors again.  “Come on!”

“Come on?” he whined.  “You know you shouldn’t go into the water less than an hour after eatin - “ her elbow in his chest shut him up but he was grinning.  She was up now and wandered into the main room to retrieve their suitcases.

She brought them both back to the bedroom.  She dug into hers and came up with a black two piece bathing suit while he lay there and enjoyed the sight.

“Move it, buddy, or you’ll get left behind.”  She reached for the handle on the sliding door.

He was out of the bed instantly and caught her arm, turning her and kissing her one more time.  “Okay, let’s go.”

“No way, Mulder.”

“It’s a private beach,” he gestured toward the sand.

“Private, yes.  But there’s no way I’m going to take a chance on you getting sunburned there.”  She gestured.  “I have other plans for Fox this week.”

“Oooh Scully.”

She rolled her eyes but he hurried to find his own suit and grabbed up two towels as he followed her out.

*****

Relaxed wasn’t even the word for how she felt about this week.  They slept late, making love again in the mornings; they played in the large pool at the main building with the swim-up bar.  They rented a boat and took a picnic over to one of the other islands, very private and made love on the beach.  It was the honeymoon they had never taken.  She stayed out of the sun during the hottest part of the day, and he usually stayed with her, interrupting her reading with his fingers or tongue.  She couldn’t remember when she had laughed so much.

*****

They were sitting at the table in their suite enjoying breakfast when she looked over at him and took a deep breath.  “Mulder, I don’t want to bring us down, but I need to ask you something.”

“Mmm,” he had just taken a bite of the eggs benedict.

“Sorry.”  She waited as he swallowed and took a sip of coffee.  “I, I just need to know, what are you going to do when Skinner calls.”

“Skinner?  He’s not really my type.  I’m not expecting him to call me.  Besides, I don’t date anymore.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Why do you think he’s going to call?”

“Because you’ve been forgiven now, you’re mainstream again.”

“I was never mainstream, Scully.”

She grinned slightly.  “Okay, I’ll give you that, but you no longer have to remain hidden.  Mulder, you enjoyed the work you did.  You said you were ‘good’, you didn’t understand why I was worried.”

“I didn’t enjoy it, Scully.  Two agents died.”

Her face flushed.  “I - I’m sorry.  But you were exhilarated, you - “

“Yes, I was . . . I guess I felt . . . needed again.”  He winced at the stricken look on her face.  “That didn’t come out right - “

“No, I believe it did.  And you’re right, you were needed and you saved that girl’s life.”

“I think you were the one that actually saved her, after saving me.”

She smiled wanly, “We’re a good team.”

“No argument from me.”

They were silent then, staring down at the remains of their meal.

“Scully?”

She looked up and he saw the fear in her eyes.

“It was important for me to take that case.  I needed it, but what you have to understand is I need you more.  Yes, I’d like to consult occasionally on some X-File if Skinner calls, but not if it’s going to come between us.”

“You were energized, excited.”

“Sure, it was different than what I’d been doing for so long.  Just like this vacation is.  I don’t want to do it all the time, I’ve done that and it nearly killed me, several times.”  He grinned, “Only you pulled me out of the fire at the last minute every time.”

“But you do want to do it sometimes.”

“Get my feet wet occasionally?  Yeah, I would, but like I told Agent Whitney, I’m only half the team.  Without you there’s not much use.”

She stared at him for a moment.  “Wait, I didn’t - “

“You put it all together, Scully.  You figured out what was happening and in your spare time, saved my ass again.  It pretty much has to be a team effort for a real X-File.”

“That’s what worries me.”

“We’re borrowing trouble, Scully.  He hasn’t called and he probably won’t.  If he does, we can look over the file then decide.”  She rolled her eyes at that and he grinned.  “We’re on vacation.  I know this is something we have to deal with and we will, but we’ll do it together, like we always do, or should.  Just don’t give up on me, on us.”

“Don’t give up,” she said quietly.

“That’s right, Scully.”

She nodded and took the hand he held out to her.  No, she wouldn’t give up on them, she couldn’t, at least that was a given.  She smiled then and let him pull her up from the chair and toward the sun, the beach, the light again.