His Emily Thoughts (PG-13)

What was he going to say to her

What was he going to say to her? What the hell could he say? They hadn’t had any time alone since being in the judge’s chambers and he was grateful for that. She had been so stunned at his revelations. He would never forget that expression on her face.

Now she’d had time to think about it. Was she furious with him? Sorry that she had called him? She had every right. He had kept such intimate knowledge from her.

It had been strained, being here in Bill’s house was difficult at best. The man despised him, but he was keeping it as together as he could for the sake of his mother and Tara. Tara, she was so incredibly pregnant. She looked like the baby would explode from her if she sneezed. Okay, he wasn’t used to be around gravid women, but then neither was Scully. This must be rubbing salt in the wound with each breath.

Why had she even wanted to come here? Okay it was Christmas, family time. But she hadn’t been excited about it. When they had discussed their plans for the holidays, she had sounded almost resigned. Maybe she had realized how hard this would be, but that would never stop her.

She would never have a child, never know what Tara was feeling and now the courts were saying she didn’t deserve to be the mother of that little girl, her own biological child. Okay, honestly, he agreed with the courts, but for selfish reasons only.

Emily was a special needs child. He’d done his research. The child would never be well, would probably not live to a ripe old age. And Scully would be hurt again. The question was should she endure the hurt now or later. Either way, it was inevitable and that thought was devastating to him.

And he would not be there to help her. Oh, he’d be there as much as she allowed, but this was Scully. She would want to take on this burden and not admit she needed any help. His help. He wanted so much for her; the cancer was gone. She deserved a break, not additional stress and heartache.

At least she had called him. Her reason was to ask him to testify on her behalf. At least that was her spoken reason. When he allowed himself to know it, he understood that it was more.

When she’d been diagnosed, she called him too. Only him. He couldn’t help but wonder if her family would know about this if they hadn’t been present when it all blew up. Yes, she needed their support too; he shouldn’t be so territorial.

He ran a hand over his eyes. What a nightmare.

He had nothing against this little girl. She was a victim; she’d been created to serve an agenda. Scully would never have known she existed if . . . dwell on the phone call later. If Scully was receiving phone calls from her deceased sister, he wasn’t going to be the one to call her crazy, or spooky.

Emily was actually a cute little thing. He could see Scully in her eyes. That caused pain in an area he had never explored and didn’t want to right now. Paternity had not been established and wasn’t an issue - it’s not like Scully had carried the child.

But she was still the child of Scully’s body. Scully and some unknown . . . Was that affecting him? Was that the reason he was so conflicted about this whole thing? Yes and no. The thoughts of Scully having a child with anyone else, was incomprehensible to him. Since he had known it couldn’t happen, long before she did, he hated to admit that this was a blow to him as well.

He shook his head, when she came down from helping get Tara to bed, she’d have every right to kick his ass.

But she wouldn’t be able to get rid of him. That was a given. Regardless of what else happened, he was going to be here with her and for her. He hadn’t watched her finally begin to regain her strength and her life without realizing that.

He heard her footsteps and took a deep breath. Whatever she needed . . .

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Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunmen and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended