Emotional Decisions (R)

She was finally beginning to relax

She was finally beginning to relax, at least physically. The security of him around her, holding her made everything seem safer. This was still so new, they'd only been intimate a few times. She knew he was still uneasy about what had happened between them. Somewhere in the back of his mind he seemed to think he had forced her.

She'd tried to convince him that he had done nothing wrong, but he brooded about this. He wasn't comfortable with the new relationship and that worried her. She wanted him to be happy, as happy as he made her.

She turned in his arms and he looked down at her. His concern for her still on his face. "Mulder, make love to me."

"Wha . . . now?"

"Yes. It's the only time I feel truly safe."

He gaped at her. Safe? He made her feel safe? How was that possible? He'd caused her so much pain and loss.

She saw that and touched his face with fingers. "It's true, Mulder."

"It was a mistake, Scully. Why can't you - "

"Do you love me Mulder?"

"You know I do. You also know it's the worst thing that ever happened to you."

"Mulder, please. I need you. Accept what I give you, let me give you the comfort, the love you give me. Believe that I love you, that I want you."

"Scully - " His voice was low, his body betraying him again. He had wanted this woman for so long. He was in awe of the fact that she was with him, that she wanted to be with him in this way.

"Mulder . . . " her hands were tracing patterns on his chest.

He couldn't stifle the groan. This woman . . . this woman wanted him despite everything. There was no way to express how much he wanted her.

"Mulder, please . . . "

When had his hand found its way to her breasts?


He groaned her name one last time, then managed to withdraw before he could collapse on top of her. He heard her whimper as he left her body. He pulled her tighter, up onto his chest where she sprawled bonelessly. He pulled the sheet over them and watched her sleep for a long moment before succumbing himself.

She was beautiful, soft and slightly rounded. And she loved him, of course that probably made her insane, but nevertheless, it seemed true.

Even as he watched she grew in front of him, even more rounded and . . . and maternal. Good God, she was . . . she was pregnant. There was a child growing inside of her. His child. He watched as she touched herself, talking the child, caressing her gravid belly as the baby moved within her.

Then she was perspiring, writhing and moaning. She was in labor. She was in pain giving birth to his child. He saw his hands touching her, trying to soothe her, help her somehow. She opened her eyes then and seemed to relax a little at his touch.

Too soon that was no longer effective and he knew she was pushing. He supported her shoulders as their child birth itself. He watched in awe as the child emerged and cried out its rage.


"Mulder? What's wrong?"

He blinked, a dream? His hold of her tightened.

"Mulder, you're crying. What did you dream?"

He shook his head. Even if he could speak, he didn't know what to say. He'd been weeping for joy at the birth of his son, Scully's son. Now reality had hit him in the face. That dream would never come true, never, because of what her relationship with him had already done.

"Mulder? Do you . . . do you want me to leave?"

"No." His voice was raspy but his hands molded her back, pressing her closer.

She didn't argue, meeting his lips with her own. He'd made his decision. This was the last time. Tomorrow they would be going home and she would be off of the X-Files. Out of the Bureau if he had anything to do with it. This was her last case. Whatever he had to do, she was going to get that life she dreamed of, the one she deserved rather than the one he had thrust upon her.

God he would miss her. Grief was already eating at him, even with her still in his arms.

She could feel his readiness. Again? Tonight? She wasn't about to protest. For the last week her desire for him had been growing beyond reason.

He wanted it slow this time. He wanted to savor her completely. He made love to every part of her, committing her scent, her taste, the sounds of her pleasure to permanent memory. She protested at first, that he wouldn't allow her the same privilege, but his attentions to her own pleasure overwhelmed her.

When he could hold back no longer he filled her with his hot seed and felt another pang of regret that there would be no outcome like his dream.

When she recovered her breath, she ran a trembling hand down his chest. "What was that about?"

"You seemed to enjoy it."

"I did. I always do, Mulder. But this was different."

"Why? Because an old man like me shouldn't be able to pleasure you twice in one night?"

"Hardly. I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Don't overanalyze it Scully. Just let me enjoy you. Go to sleep. I'll let you sleep through the rest of the night."

"Mulder, don't ever hesitate to wake me." She kissed him again and cuddled in against his body. He held her tenderly, not bothering to sleep. He would never have this opportunity again and he wasn't going to waste it.


They stood in the hall outside of Skinner's office. "I won't let you go back." Mulder looked down at her. "It has to end sometime. That time is now."

"Mulder -"

"They're taking abductees, you're an abductee. I'm not going to risk losing you." She came into his arms.

"I won't let you go alone."

He nodded, if that's what it took to reassure her, keep her here - fine. When he returned, he would settle this. He'd talk to Skinner. He would make things right for her. It was a promise.

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Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended.