Getting Lucky (NC-17)

 

She groaned and rolled to her side.  Her head was splitting, how long had she been out?  She started to stand, but changed her mind, realizing how wobbly her legs still were.  She leaned against the nearest tree.  When she got her breath back she tried to look around.

It was already dusk; she had to have been out at least an hour.

Mulder!  He’d been ahead of her.  Something had happened to him.  She knew it with complete certainty.  If he were okay, he’d have been beside her when she came to.

So she had to find him.  It was getting dark rapidly and cooling off here in the woods.  Her clothes were slightly damp, probably from lying on the ground.

She had to find him.  They were already in trouble, dark would only make it worse.  She forced herself to her feet and held onto the tree until she felt steady enough to begin her search.

She felt her pockets, flashlight - gone, gun - gone, badge - gone.  Great.  Then she needed to hurry before it got any darker.  Okay, what direction?

Wasn’t that a broken branch?  Someone or something had torn off in that direction.  It was her best option for now.

*****

 It was full dark already; and the trees didn’t help any.  She could barely see her hand in front of her.  There were two, no three large, blacker shapes just ahead.  The moon should be almost full, but the clouds were too thick to allow any light through.

Were they buildings?  She really couldn’t tell, but they weren’t moving and they sure as hell weren’t trees.  She headed in that direction.  She’d gotten nearer to the shapes, when something caught her foot and she went down.  What the hell?

Mulder!  Oh god, she’d fallen over Mulder, she knew his presence instinctively.  Her headache receded as she tried to wake him.  Her hands were checking him out.  A pulse, he was breathing, he was alive.  She sank onto the ground next to him, her relief sapping her strength.

“Mulder, can you hear me?”  He was out of it, how badly was he hurt?

She could find no broken bones, but there was a knot on his head that rivaled her own.  “Mulder, I need you to wake up.  Damn it!”

Okay now what.  He wasn’t in any shape to help her.  So that meant she had to handle it herself.  Those dark shapes, they were buildings, they had to be.  She made it back to her feet and looked around.  Yes, she could find him again.  It was Mulder; of course she’d find him.

It was three buildings, the largest in the middle.  They were hunting cabins.  More shack than cabin, it looked like, but it was inside.  The doors were all padlocked, so she chose the largest of the three.  A couple of kicks had the door open, the hasp hanging from the frame and her head throbbing again.

No light switch that her fingers could find, probably no electricity.  She moved out into the room, arms moving ahead of her to avert another fall.  She found a chair and table, yes more chairs.  Nothing on the table.  Damn it was dark.

Her foot caught on something metal and she realized she’d found a bed.  Following the mattress she discovered another small table and on it, thank God, was a flashlight.  She closed her eyes in a quick prayer that it worked and flipped the switch.

Yes!  Light.  Scully turned to display the room she was in.  It was just a shack, but there was a pot bellied stove over in the corner and a Coleman lantern sitting on top of it.  Now, did these people have enough sense to keep it filled? 

Again yes!  She felt weak with relief.  There was a box of matches on the shelf over the table and she quickly lit the lantern and doused the flashlight to conserve it.

She had to get Mulder here.  She wouldn’t be able to handle him and the lantern, but she had to be able to at least see to get back.

There was a hook just outside the door.  Maybe she wasn’t the first person to need an outside light at this place.  Scully hung the lantern there and left the door open, then hurried back to Mulder’s side using the flashlight.

“Mulder?  You’ve got to hear me, Mulder.  I can’t carry you.  Please wake up, just a little.”  She patted his cheek and rubbed his hands and in a moment, he moaned.

“Mulder, yes.  Please wake up Mulder.”

He managed to open his eyes a bit and squinted into the light made by the flashlight.

“Come on, Mulder.  On your feet.  It’s not far, I’ll help you.”

It took a couple of tries, but she finally had him upright, leaning heavily against her.  It’s a good thing he’d managed to get this far on his own.

They stumbled to the cabin and he was able to navigate the step to get inside.  She managed to get him to the first chair before he collapsed and he let his head sink onto the table.

She let herself drop into the vacant chair nearest him and tried to get her breath back.

When she was able, she rose to her feet and brought the lantern back inside, then ‘locked’ the door from the inside with a piece of wood.  She hadn’t seen or heard anyone else out there since she had come to, but she might as well take the precaution.

Before starting on him, she decided to check out the bed, he needed to lie down.  The bed was adequate, no sheets but several blankets folded at the foot.  They were obviously someone’s old blankets and quilts, but they were better than nothing.  She spread one of the quilts over the mattress, then returned to Mulder.

She finally got a good look at him.  He was muddy and wet and pale and . . . he looked like she felt.  The lump on the side of his head was large, but there was no blood, on the outside at least.  Surely his head was hard enough to withstand this.

“Mulder, come on talk to me.  Mulder?”

He stirred and managed to look up at her.  “Scully?”  He tried to sit up and winced at the movement.

“Take it easy.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m better than you are.  I’ve got to get you out of these wet clothes Mulder.  You’re going to have to help me.”

“I love it when you talk dirty, Scully.”

She rolled her eyes, only Mulder . . .

His coat was soaked through his dress shirt to his t-shirt, as were his pants.  She got his shoes off as well and socks, then forced him back to his feet

“Come on, just over to the bed, then you can relax.”

He made some noise, but didn’t resist as she helped him.  He half fell into the bed and she pulled the remaining blankets over him for the present.  She’d need at least one herself, but there were things she needed to do first.

Scully took the lantern and moved around the room, to see what she had in the way of supplies.   There actually was a small first aid kit, mostly band-aids, but small bottles of both aspirin and alcohol and some swabs.  She could use that and best of all, a case of bottled water, shoved partially under the bed.

She opened one of the bottles and washed her face and hands, then did the same for Mulder

Her headache had flared again, so she stopped there and wearily removed her own wet and muddy clothing.  She hadn’t realized she had begun to tremble with the cold until then.

She took the top blanket from Mulder’s bed and wrapped it around her.  It was scratchy and didn’t warm her as she sat at the table.

What was it Mulder had said?  The best way to get warm was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone who was already naked.

Her response had been that if it started raining sleeping bags maybe he’d get lucky.

She glanced over at the bed.  He certainly was in no shape to get lucky with her tonight, damn it.  That stopped her, she didn’t want him to ‘get lucky’ did she?  Well, yes, but not like this.  And it wasn’t something she was ever going to admit to him and . . . shut up, Dana, get in the bed.

She spread her blanket over him, then crawled in beside him and got comfortable.  He was completely out of it and didn’t stir, but it was warmer.

She let her eyes close, she’d done all she could for now.

*****

 The sound of the rain on the roof woke her sometime later and she realized that Mulder had somehow found her in his sleep.  He was wrapped around her completely relaxed, holding her close to his chest.  She could move away, but he was sound asleep and she was so warm and . . . and comfortable.  She let her eyes drift closed again.

When she woke again, it was to find him watching her, propped up on an elbow.  “Mu . . . Mulder.”  She stretched slightly and saw his eyes dilate.  “How are you?”

“I never thought I’d say this if I was ever in bed with you, but I have a headache.”

That startled a chuckle from her.

“Hey, don’t laugh.  I’ve waited over six years.”

“Mulder, get serious.”  She pulled away then, with a little more force than she had planned.

He stiffened slightly and looked away.  “Right, sorry.”

She watched at him closely.  He hadn’t moved, but she could feel the distance.  Scully knew she’d made a mistake, but he had caught her off guard.

The cold she felt now had nothing to do with the temperature of the room.  Mulder said nothing, but sat up to look around the room.  After a moment, “There’s, uh, no plumbing is there?”

“No, there’s not.”

He nodded and moved to get out of the bed.  He closed his eyes and grabbed hold of the bedpost.

“Mulder?”

“I’m fine.”  He opened his eyes and looked around for his pants.  He spotted them, drying on the back of a chair.  He moved in that direction, stumbling slightly.  Watching him, she rose from the bed as well and wrapped a blanket around herself.

“Mulder, let me -  “

“I’m gonna step outside for a minute.”

“It’s raining.”

“Doesn’t matter.  I won’t be long.”

She looked away; he had a point.  He didn’t bother with his shirt, slipping his coat on instead.  He left the cabin without a word.  When he returned, he dried his hair with his t-shirt.

“It’s not raining that hard.”

“Good.  I’ll, uh, see you in a minute.”  She’d donned her own clothes to step outside.

“You should take my coat, it’s bigger.”

“Thanks.”  She didn’t meet his eyes, but took the coat he handed her.  She draped it around her and headed out into the rain.

When she returned, he had filled the stove with the wood that had been inside and was lighting it.  She shook out the coat, and when she turned, he was standing right behind her holding out his t-shirt.  “Thanks.”  She used it to dry her own hair.

He heard a distant rumble of thunder.  “Sounds like its getting worse.”

“Yes, it does.”

“So, I guess we’re stuck here for a while.”

“I was able to find some water, but there was no food.”

He nodded.  She was being formal and he sighed to himself.  One step forward, three steps backward every damn time.  He’d awakened to find her nestled against him, relaxed and comfortable.  It’s not like he’d taken any real advantage of her.  She had been holding him as well.

“I could try the other cabins.  Maybe one of them has some food.”

“I’ll go.”  She reached for his coat again.

“I said I could try the other cabins.”

“You were more badly injured than I was.  You’ve still got the headache.”

“Fine.  You go.”  He turned his back on her.  He could feel her hesitation, then heard her open the door.  He wasn’t acting any better than she was.

When he heard her splashing back, he moved to the door and opened it.  She had another case of water and several cans of food.  He took the load from her and she headed straight for the stove.

He placed the supplies she’d found on the table and turned toward her, to see her shivering.  “Shit Scully.  I told you I should have gone.”  He took the coat from her and wrapped one of the blankets around her.

“I’m fine Mulder.”

He looked her straight in the eye then and it didn’t look friendly.  She couldn’t help but lean away from him slightly.

“Damn it Scully!”

She jumped slightly.  His raised voice was extremely loud in such small quarters.

“Tell me what I did!  Yes, I woke up in the bed with you, but I don’t remember taking any advantage.  I was unconscious, I was injured, you were injured.  Why are you so angry with me?”

“I’m not - “

“Don’t deny it, Scully.  You’re mad and I don’t know what . . . Is it because I had you out chasing ‘Big Foot’?  Look I didn’t get a good look at what hit me, but - “

“No!  That’s not . . . I’m not mad.”

“You’re giving a damn good impression of mad.”

“Mulder, drop it.  I found some stew.  We can heat it in the can on the stove, then - “

“I’m not hungry.  We’re stuck here for a while anyway, I want to know what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything.”  She spoke through gritted teeth.

He actually growled at her, then turned his back and moved away from her.  She pulled the blanket closer around her, colder than she had been.

She sank down to the floor near the stove, and clasped her arms around her knees.

He finally turned back and saw her.  It looked like . . . it looked like she was crying.  Damn his head hurt.  He shouldn’t have fought with her, that made him feel like crap when he was in top shape, now . . . now he felt like double crap.

“Scully, Scully I’m sorry.  Come on, get up.”

She shook her head.

“Look, come on.  I was out of line.  It’s cold and you’re wet.  Come back to the bed and get warm.”  He tugged her gently to her feet and she allowed him to lead her back to the bed, though she didn’t speak or look at him.

“Come on, you’re wet.  Let me get those things off you.”

She watched silently as he peeled the wet slacks from her legs.  Her blouse was damp.  His dress shirt had been by the stove and was dry and warm.  When she didn’t protest, he unbuttoned her blouse and removed it, slipping his own shirt around her.

“Thanks.”  She didn’t look up.

“The room should be warm soon, Scully.  Just stay under the covers for a little while.”

“Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m okay.”

“Is that the same as fine?”  She finally looked up at him.

He gave an unamused chuckle.  “I guess it is.”

“Mulder, get in here.”  She held the covers open for him.

“I think that’s where I messed up last time.  Maybe I should stay out here.”

“Mulder, please.”

Still he hesitated until he realized she was going to hold the covers up and remain cold herself.  He nodded then and crawled in with her, but kept to his side, stiff and uncomfortable.

“Mulder.”

Her voice caused a shiver to run through him.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He didn’t move any closer, but he finally turned to look at her.

“You kept me warm, safe.  Even unconscious you protected me.”

“Scully, did I . . . did I do something while I was, while I was not - “

“Mulder, you did nothing wrong.”

“You don’t have to . . . if I stepped over the line, I - “

“Listen to me Mulder, you were a perfect gentleman.”

“Then what’s wrong?  Why were you so . . . “ He stopped as a flush took over her face.  “Scully?”

“I . . . I’m the one that overstepped Mulder.”

He looked at her puzzled.

“Mulder . . . I was, I was enjoying being here in the bed with you.  I was - “

“Hold it.  You’re upset because you . . . you were enjoying being in bed with me, in my arms?”

She looked down.  “I took advantage of you.  You’re my partner and I - “

“Scully.  Scully, look at me.”  When she didn’t, he tilted her face up so that he could look into her eyes.

“I am not upset.  I do not feel taken advantage of.  You’ve got to believe me on this Scully.”

“I know you say that, but I . . . I threw myself at you.”

“God, Scully.  You’ve got to know better.”  He looked at her incredulously.  “Now I really have a headache.”

Her hand came up to touch his forehead.  He grasped it and brought it to his lips.

“You remember the first time I saw you in just your underwear?”

She looked away again, but nodded.

“Well, I never thought it would take me six years to see that sight again.  I certainly didn’t want it to.

“Mulder, don’t.  We’re in a survival situation.  Let’s just -  “

“Keep our distance?  That’s what you want isn’t it.”  He sighed, “Yeah, okay.  But until we can get out of here, can’t we act like we’re friends?”

“We are friends Mulder.  We’re so much more than friends, but there is a line that we can’t cross.”

“Right.  But you’re wet and cold and I want to help you warm up and . . . Scully, I - “

“Thank you.”

He shut up then and cautiously took her back into his arms.  She was stiff at first, but his body heat felt good, as good as his arms around her. 

“Thank you.” She said again quietly and relaxed into his embrace.

She cuddled in closer and he rested his chin on her hair, closing his eyes.  This was all she wanted and he had to live with that.

She was warm and getting drowsy now.  She hadn’t slept that well last night.  Should she move away?  The thought barely formed before she slipped under.

He realized she had fallen back asleep.  He started to move away, she wanted the professional distance and the way they were dressed, or undressed, he wasn’t sure how well he could do that.  To his surprise, she stirred and squirmed toward him, seeking warmth?  She seemed warm enough.

“Umm, Mulder don’t . . . “

Don’t what? Don’t hold her or don’t let go?  He moved away again, and again she followed him.  Okay, awake she might not want his body pressed against hers, but asleep she seemed to want him just fine.

What did that mean?  He wasn’t sure what to think, but he nestled her against his side and she cuddled in and smiled.

He closed his eyes at that.  Asleep she wanted him, great.  Did he call her on that?

He loved this woman.  It wasn’t just sex, though thoughts of her were all that got him off now.  He kept that shame tucked away with all the others in a back pocket of his brain.  It was different, he was . . . he was in love with the woman, the one woman in the world who really knew him and therefore could never love him back.

He sighed and placed a kiss on her head.  “I love you Scully.”  It was just a whisper.

“Love you too, Mul . . . “ She murmured in her sleep and her cheek pressed closer into his throat.

He was paralyzed for an instant.  She was asleep, but she’d said it.  Asleep she wasn’t distant.  Part of him wanted to shake her awake and demand the truth, but even he, with his vast knowledge of women, knew that was a mistake.  Instead he held her, relishing every breath that brought her body closer to his.

When she was deeply asleep and warm, he rose from the bed.  She’d be hungry when she woke.  He could do something about that.

*****

 She stirred as the aroma of the stew filled the cabin.  As he watched, she searched for him in the bed and finally opened her eyes.  She was greeted by him leaning over her; a slight smile on his face.  For some reason she blushed but he made no comment on it.

“Hungry Scully?”

“Famished.”

“Good, my gourmet skills have been put to the test - “

“Meaning you got the can open without cutting yourself?”

“Cheap shot, Scully.  I even had to fashion our dinner ware.”

She grinned then and pulled his shirt closer around her to rise from the bed.  He’d used the lid of the can to cut a couple of water bottles in half, making bowls to hold the stew.

“How long were you an Indian guide, Mulder?”

“I watched a lot of McGyver.”

She chuckled and took her seat at the table.  The place was comfortably warm now, but the rain seemed to be worse than before.

They slurped their stew without conversation.  She smiled indulgently when he went after one last piece of carrot with his fingers.

He took her empty ‘bowl’ and moved toward the door.  “Where - “

“Clean up.”

“You cooked, I should - “

“Not a problem Scully.”  He opened the door and held the ‘dishes’ under some runoff from the roof.

“Real sterile.”  She commented.  He grinned but didn’t dispute it.

When he joined her at the table again, she looked up at the ceiling, assessing the sound of the rain.  “Mulder, we’ve got to get out of here.”

“Why?”  He challenged.  “I have everything I need -  shelter, food, water . . . you.”

“Mulder.”

Abruptly his expression changed.  “Scully . . . Scully, as you were falling asleep I . . . I said . . .” He closed his eyes for an instant, “I told you I loved you.”

“Mulder -  “

“You responded Scully.  You said, ‘I love you too Mulder’.”  He was watching her.  He’d expected a blush from his redhead, instead all color drained from her face.  “Scully?”  He started to rise from his chair; was she going to faint?

“Mulder , I . . . I was asleep, I didn’t . . .”

“You didn’t mean it, or you didn’t mean to say it?”  He sat back, watching.

“Mulder, don’t.”

“Scully, I have to, I have to know if you . . . if we, if work partners is all . . . “ He wound down, his courage all used up.

She sat looking at him, a little color returning to her face.  She didn’t speak and after a moment he stood.  Her hand shot out to grab his arm.

“Mulder, please.”

“Forget it Scully.  I shouldn’t have . . . I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.  This rain will probably let up by morning and we can get out of here.” 

His face was closed off, his eyes shuttered from her.

“I didn’t mean to say it.”

His head shot up and he looked at her finally.  He waited.

“Mulder . . . “ She closed her eyes.  He disengaged his arm from her hand and moved over to the stove.  “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing Scully.  I think I have a pretty good handle on things.”

“No you don’t. You don’t have a clue.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t want to explain it, so let’s just drop it, okay?”

“No!”  She was on her feet and he turned to face her.  “No, Mulder.  We can’t drop it, not now.”

“Sure we can Scully.  It’s what you want, isn’t it.”  He shut up then, seeing the tears that had formed in her eyes.  He’d hurt her again.  What the hell was wrong with him, he did love her, why couldn’t he show it like a normal man?

He watched her swallow and wanted to take it all back.  His headache was returning.

“I’m not good at relationships Mulder.  Until I met you . . . we were forced into a partnership, we developed a friendship, I’m . . . I’m afraid to move beyond that.”

“Afraid?”

“What we have now is good Mulder.  Maybe it’s not enough for you, hell it’s not enough for me at times.” 

His eyes widened at that admission.

“But what if we move forward and . . . and it’s not good.  Relationships can’t go backward, you know that, I know that.  Are you willing to risk what we have now for . . . for more?"

“Scully, I . . . every day is a risk.  We know that better than anyone else on the planet.  And I can’t imagine it, imagine us, not being good.”

She blushed then.  “But if it isn’t . . . “

“Scully, where is this coming from?  I’ve never seen you insecure like this.”

“Mulder, I’m the ice queen.”

“Bull shit.”

“That’s what people see, there must be a reason.”

“No, I don’t believe that.  If anyone thinks that, it’s because they don’t know you.  I’ve hung around for six years and it sure as  hell hasn’t been for the sex.”

Her blush deepened then and she looked away.

 “Scully, I’m not trying to embarrass you.  You might not believe me, but I’m not trying to push you into something you don’t want.  If it’s something you do want, something we could explore together . . . There’s no one more important to me than you are Scully.  I hope you know that.”

“I do.”  She whispered.

“Well, that’s good.”

He watched her stand and turn toward the door.

“Scully?”

“I need to step outside.”

He glanced up at the ceiling.  “It’s raining awfully hard.”

“That’s part of the problem.”  She remarked ruefully.

He grinned then and took his coat off of the chair near the stove.  “Guess I’ll wait here.”

“Thanks.”  She held the coat over her head and hurried outside.

He stood staring at the door after she was gone.  A relationship with him scared her, but not the way he thought.  She was worried that he would tire of her.  That thought had never entered his mind.  How could she possibly think they couldn’t have a personal relationship?  They already had a personal relationship and having more would just enhance that.

He looked up as the door opened, then hurried over to her with the t-shirt they had been using as towel.

“You’re cold again.”

“There’s some sleet falling now.”

He glanced down at the wood box.  “I better make a trip outside myself and get some more wood in here to dry out.”

“Probably a good idea.”  She surrendered the coat to him and then held her hands out to the stove.

He was gone a lot longer than she had thought.  She had removed her wet clothes again and was beginning to think about pulling them back on when he reappeared.

His arms were full.  He’d obviously been to both of the other structures.  She hurried to him to take some of his load.  “There’s more.  I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Mulder, I could - “

“I’m already wet.  Be ready to warm me up when I get back.” 

She met his eyes then, and he thought she gave a slight nod.

When he returned with the second load, she saw the flakes of snow in his hair.  “We’ve got a nice mix now.”

“Great.  How long do you think we’ll be here?”

“Don’t know, I’m awfully glad you found me Scully.”

“Me too.  Ready for me to warm you up?”

He grinned at that, “Always Scully.”  He stood facing her and she approached him as he waited.  She lifted the coat from his shoulders and draped it over the chair; she pushed him gently down into a chair and removed his shoes and socks.

“Your slacks are wet too Mulder.”

“Yes they are.”

“Stand up.”

He obeyed her but made no move to assist her.  After a slight hesitation she reached for the button on his waistband.  She glanced up and saw the humor in his eyes.

“Don’t push it Mulder.”

“Who me?”

“We should get back in the bed, Mulder.  We don’t want to get sick.”

“That’s your medical opinion Scully?”

“Yes.  Come on.”  After a moment’s hesitation, she removed his dress shirt and crawled into the bed.

He hadn’t expected that, but he wasn’t about to protest.  He joined her immediately.  Her arms went around him before he could reach for her.

A shudder ran through him.  “Mulder?”

“I’m fine, I’m great.”

“Mulder, I’m not . . . “

“No hurry Scully.  It’s enough to know that there’s a chance.”

She nodded slightly.  This did feel good.

“Maybe dressed like this it isn’t a good idea, but we need to talk.”

“Mulder?”

“I need to know why you think we might not be good together.”

She sighed, “Has that thought never occurred to you?”

“Well, no.” He looked slightly abashed.  “Too much ego?”

“No.  But then you’ve always been more open to extreme possibilities.”  Her eyes were twinkling.  He tried to glare at her.  Her fingers touched his face, seemingly involuntarily and after a moment her eyes were sober again.

“Scully?”

“Mulder, I haven’t even had a second date in years.  What makes you think that if our relationship became more personal it wouldn’t disintegrate?”

“Scully, these guys you’ve gone out with - have they not asked for a second date, or have you not accepted their invitation?”

She looked away but he wouldn’t be put off.  “Scully, please.”

“I haven’t accepted.”

“Why not?”

“No one that’s asked me out has . . . has . . . I’ve not been interested.”

“No chemistry?”

“I guess not.”

“Do you think there could be chemistry between us?”  He watched her throat contract, but he couldn’t back down.  “Scully, please.”

“You know there’s chemistry, but Mulder what if that’s all there is?  What if we have sex and you decide -  “

“In the first place, you and I wouldn’t just ‘have sex’.  I want to make love to you.”  Her eyes opened wide and her lips parted as though inviting him in.  “And in the second place, there is no way I could tire of you.  You’re my best friend.  I share things with you that I’ve never even tried to talk about with anyone else.  And you listen.  You’ve never called me ‘Spooky’.  You’ve probably thought it, but you haven’t said it.”

She shook her head, “No, brilliant maybe, unorthodox definitely, but not spooky.”

“You looked after me when my father was murdered; you got me through my mother’s illness and death.  That’s not partner stuff, Scully, that’s more.”

“Like . . . like when you helped me with Emily, even when you didn’t want to?”

He looked into her eyes then and nodded.

“I know I didn’t have her long, but . . . but one of my most vivid memories of her was that night we raced over to the home and she was running the fever.”  He waited, those memories were always with him.  You picked her up in your arms, as though . . . as though she was yours.  Your concern was real, I could feel it.  I just couldn’t talk about it.”

He placed a long kiss on her forehead.  “She was yours, Scully.  I wanted her to be mine.”

That seemed to knock the breath out of her.

“Did you really not know that?”

“I love you Mulder.”

Now it was his turn to be out of breath.

“You do . . . “  He moved slightly away from her in the bed.

“Mulder?”

“I don’t want to rush you, physically.”

“You don’t?”

His lips twitched then. “Okay, sure I do, but I won’t.”

“A gentleman.”

“Hardly.  I just want you to want this as much as I do.  Remember, I said it was good enough to know there’s a chance.”

“How’s your head?”

“What?”

“Do you have a headache?”

“No, I . . . Scully?”  Her hand was playing with his chest hair.  “What are you doing?”

“Taking you at your word.”

“My word?”  He could feel the blood leaving his brain at her actions.

“You said you wanted to make love to me.”

“I do.”

“We’re here, we’re completely alone.  If it . . . if it doesn’t work out, no one would ever know.”

Why did he have the impression of a lamb being led to slaughter?

“Scully.”  His hand was tracing its way down her side.  The silkiness of her skin was making him exceptionally warm.  “You know that unspoken communication we’re supposed to be so good at?  Make sure we use it now.”

Her nod was almost imperceptible.  She seemed very aware of his hand as well.  He increased the pressure and found his way to the clasp of her bra in the back.  He released it but didn’t remove the bra.  He pulled her against him, molding her back in his hands.

“Scully, if you’re going to change your mind, it better be soon.”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve got to promise me not to regret it either.”

“I promise.”

He barely hesitated before bringing his lips down to hers.  God, that New Year’s Eve kiss hadn’t scratched the surface.  He felt her lips part beneath his, allowing him entry as her body moved against him.  Damn.  Once she made up her mind about something . . .

He moved away from her only far enough to remove her bra, then pulled her against him again.  He began kissing her face, her neck, tasting of Scully skin, his mind reeling.

When he moved farther down her body and his lips suckled at her nipple, she moaned.  The sound came very close to ending things before they began.  Mulder moved away from her.

“Mulder?”

“I need to . . . I need to slow this down a little.  I’ve wanted this too long.”

She smiled then and nodded.  “Why don’t you lie here a minute.”  His eyes searched her face then he nodded, and stretched out beside her.  She rose up on one elbow and let her hand caress the stubble on his cheek, before turning her attention to his chest.

Shortly he was moaning.  He thought he’d been hard before, now he was painfully so.  “Scully . . . I, I need you.”

She nodded, her lips busy exploring him as his hand continued their own purposes.  “Inside of me.  Please Mulder,” she was gasping from the attention he was already paying her.

He moved his body over hers and met her eyes.  “Scully . . . “

“I’m sure.”

He closed his eyes then for an instant, then opened them locking onto hers as he slowly entered her.   Her eyes grew wide and he slowed even further.  That wasn’t what she wanted.  She arched taking him inside of her and locking her legs around his hips.  Now it was his eyes that widened as he struggled for control.

“God, Scully -  don’t . . . “

But she was moving beneath him and he couldn’t help but respond, thrusting deeper inside of her.  Fast and faster, god, he never wanted this to end.  He could quite happily die right here - in a little while.  Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered if she’d ever walk again, but didn’t really care, as long as he didn’t stop.

He realized she was getting close and having Dana Scully come in his arms had become the only important thing in his life.  When he slowed his onslaught she whimpered, “No, please.”  Then gasped as his fingers caressed her clit.

“Mulder, please.”  He had to smile at that, as though he could stop.

Then almost before he was ready, she was coming, convulsing beneath him as her body spasmed around him.  He slowed, the better to enjoy this incredible sensation, her eyes fluttered as she clung to him and consciousness by a thin thread.

She finally went limp in his arms, sated and fulfilled.  “Mulder.”

He smiled at the sound of his name, now, coming from her lips.

“We’re not through.”  She murmured.

“Its o . . . “

“Come inside of me Mulder, please.”

Those words - she’d said them in his mind thousands of times, but the real thing - god!  And he was pounding into her.  His very life depended on this.

Then he was coming, from deep inside, pouring himself into her.  He could hear his voice cry out her name and finally went limp himself, his weight pressing her into the bed.  He started to move off of her, but her arms tightened, holding him in place.

“Scully, I’ll . . . I’ll crush you.”

“Please, stay.”

He was in no condition to argue with her, nuzzling into her neck.

When she did finally allow him to move, he pulled her close into him and covered them.  It was a long time before either of them was aware of anything but the other’s body.

*****

 When he woke, more ‘came to’, she wasn’t beside him.  He scanned the room quickly.  She was wrapped in one of the blankets and coming back from the door.

She sat beside him and smiled.  That eased his fear, “You okay?”

“If I was any better Mulder, I’d melt.”  She leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose.

“So if I ask for a second date . . . “

“I’d say yes.”  She said simply.

“I hope it snows six feet.”

She laughed then, “you may get your wish, it’s really coming down.”

“Is that sleeping bags, Agent Scully?  I’m feeling damn lucky.”

She blushed at his words, “Me too, Mulder.  Me too.”