Haunted Train (NC-17)

"You are kidding," she stared down at him.

"Uh, no."

"Mulder!"  It was very nearly a whine.

"Look, you don't have to go.  I could - "

The look she sent him rendered him silent.  She slumped down in her chair.  "Where is this place?"

"It's kind of out of the way."

"Duh, Mulder.  Where?"

"The mountains of North Carolina.  It's a small town."  He looked up and was not encouraged by the look on her face.

"A haunted train?  Why did they call you?"

"I'm not really sure.  Look, it should only take a day or so.  There might be nothing . . . "  he stopped again.  "I'll, uh, I'll handle the travel arrangements."  He rose then and, if she used the word, scurried from the office.

She leaned forward in her chair and lightly banged her forehead against the desk.

*****

They landed in Charlotte that morning and picked up a rental car.  She picked up the map and unfolded it.  "Mulder, this place isn't on the map."

"Yeah, there's no road to the hotel."

"No road?"

"Right, you have to take the train to get to the hotel."

"The haunted train."

"Uh, yeah."

"Great."  She folded the map, not bothering with the original folds and he winced.  It was going to be a long drive.

*****

He pulled the rental car into one of the slots in front of the general store.  The entire 'downtown' consisted of this store, the train depot, a feed store and a volunteer fire department.

Scully looked up and down the street and sighed, then looked over at Mulder.

He avoided her eyes and headed into the general store.

"Mr. Drucker?"  A thin, bald man putting cans on the shelf turned toward them.   He was wearing an apron on which he wiped his hands and looked at them curiously.

"Sam, it's just Sam, son.  What can I do for you?"

Mulder saw her come in out of the corner of his eye.  "We need to get to the Shady Rest Hotel."

"Ah, honeymooners?"  The older man grinned.

"No."  Scully held up her badge.  "We're here on a case."  Mulder fought off cringing at her tone.

"Oh." Sam drew back startled.  "Well, the only way to get there is the Cannon Ball."

"That's what we heard," Mulder spoke before Scully could.  "Do you have a schedule?"

"Schedule?" the older man chuckled.  "There's no schedule.  I'll just let Floyd know he's got passengers."

"Floyd?"

"He's the conductor.  He and Charley can get you up there in no time."

"Thanks, we'd appreciate it."  Mulder couldn't help the smile.  He kept forgetting places like this existed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Drucker," Scully spoke up as she moved closer to the counter.

"Please ma'am, it's just Sam."

"Uh, Sam, have you heard any stories about the train being . . . haunted?"

Sam blinked.  "Why sure.  Is that why you're here?"

Scully didn't respond directly.  "Could you tell us what you've heard?"

"Well, I haven't actually seen nothin' myself, but Floyd swears something's happening and Uncle Joe's seen her."

"Uncle Joe?"

"Joe Carson, he works at the Shady Rest with Kate and the girls.   He's their handy man," Sam grinned.  "I don't know that he's handy about anything but eatin' Kate's food, but he lives there.  He can tell you all about it."

"Do you need to call Floyd?" Scully asked.

"Oh yeah, sorry."  He stepped to the front door of the store and opened it.  "Floyd!  Hey, Floyd, you got passengers!"

Mulder looked over to see that Scully had closed her eyes.  He definitely should have come alone.

Sam waited at the door and held it for Floyd to join them. 

"Floyd, these people would like to get up to the Shady Rest."

"Ahh, honeymooners?" The shorter, balding man in a conductor's uniform smiled at them.

"No." Scully held out her badge again and Mulder just kept quiet.

"FBI?  What's Joe done now?"  The question seemed to be directed at Sam.

"Not this time, Floyd.  They're here about that ghost you got on the train."

"Really?  The FBI looks into things like that?"

"Occasionally," Mulder answered before Scully could.  "Have you ever seen her?"

"No, but Joe has and I've heard her a couple of times."

"We're going to want to interview you formally about this."

"Uh, sure.  You want to come on and board.  We could talk on the way." 

He led the way to the depot.  Scully pulled on Mulder's arm to slow him down.

"How does the FBI have jurisdiction over this?"

"Trains cross state lines."

"This one doesn't leave the county, Mulder."  She sped up before he could answer.

*****

The man didn't know much more than what he'd already told them. 

A woman had been heard weeping on the train a couple of times.  This Joe person had seen her in her long flowing white gown.  Floyd didn't know if it was a nightgown or a wedding gown, just that Joe said it was white.

Mulder asked if there was a certain spot on the route that she was usually heard.  Floyd had to think about that.  Finally, he shook his head, "I really don't know.  I'll keep an ear open and if I hear her, I'll make a note of it."

That was about as good as they were going to get, so Mulder decided to let it rest until they could get settled and see this Buchanan guy.

*****

The train slowed to a stop and Floyd returned to the car.  "The Shady Rest is just up the hill.  Do you have your luggage?"

"Right here," Mulder pulled both of their bags from the upper compartment.  Scully reached for hers but he shook his head slightly.  "I got it."

"Mulder - "

"Please." 

She started to protest, but his expression changed her mind.  It wasn't that big a deal, as long as he understood she could do it.  Floyd stepped out on the landing and picked up the steps.  He dropped them into place and stepped down onto the platform.  He turned once on the ground and held out a hand for Scully.

She hesitated but realized it was his job as well as manners, and took the hand he offered.  Mulder followed her and looked around once he was on the small wooden station platform.

"Where's the hotel?"

"Just up that path.  You can't miss it," he grinned.  "It's the only thing up there."

"Thanks.  If we want to check out the train - "

"Just let Joe or Kate know.  We'll head right on over."

Charlie let loose a blast on the steam whistle and Floyd waved at the engineer, nodding.  He snatched up the steps and jumped back on the train as it started to move again.

Mulder looked around to see Scully watching him.  He shrugged.  "It's not that bad."

She looked away and he sighed.  "Let's go on up."

"Yes, lets."  She started up the gravel path.

The hotel itself was not like anything they had stayed in previously.  It appeared to be more of a bed and breakfast-looking place, complete with an older heavy-set man on the porch.  He was seated in a wooden chair that had been tipped back to lean against the outer wall.  He was snoring gently as they moved across the porch and inside.  Mulder grinned over at Scully, but she didn't respond.

An older woman, her gray hair up in a bun, looked up and smiled.  "Ahh, honeymooners?"

Mulder bit his lip, but Scully whipped out her badge.  "We're with the FBI.  I'm Agent Scully, this is Agent Mulder."

"FBI?  Uncle Joe!" she hollered.

They both heard the legs of the chair from the porch hit the floor and the older man hurried inside, straightening his collar.  "Kate, I was just outside working on the - "

"Yeah, I heard the saw," she interrupted him.  "These two young folks here say they're FBI agents.  You know anythin' about that?"

As he hemmed and hawed, Mulder looked around.  His eyes lighted on a young woman, joining them from the back of the house.  She was drop-dead gorgeous.  Her hair was long and thick, honey blonde and pulled back in a ponytail.  Her eyes were sky blue.  The blouse she wore applied more than a little pressure on the buttons from her full breasts, and her body tapered down to a small waist.  The short skirt she was wearing ended well above her knees, showing long shapely legs.  She was barefoot.

Scully looked over at Mulder when he hadn't acknowledged anything Joe mumbled, and followed his gaze.  God, no wonder he wasn't paying attention.  Her eyes narrowed as she watched the blonde give Mulder a thorough inspection, and then smile brightly.  Were those teeth real?

"I heard the train - " This second female came from the front door and stopped short at the sight of Mulder and her eyes widened.  This one was brunette, hair also pulled back in a long ponytail.  Her eyes were a deep brown, but the rest of the body could have been cloned.  She was wearing a low cut tee-shirt and cut off jeans - cut off high enough to see the inside of a back pocket peeking out at her hips.

Scully noted that Mulder had managed to pull his eyes away from the blonde long enough to give the brunette some single-minded attention as well.  Okay, she had looked at these two herself, but did he have to drool?

Scully turned back to the front desk.  "Could we have a couple of rooms for the night?  It's taken most of the day to get here."

Kate smiled.  "We are 'out of the way.'  Bobby Jo, show these nice people up to rooms four and six. I think you'll like them.  You will have to share a bath."

"Fine," Scully said reaching for her bag.

Mulder grabbed his bag and started up the stairs right behind Bobby Jo.  At the last minute, he seemed to remember Scully, and stopped to let her precede him.  They arrived at Scully's room first and Bobby Jo opened the door.  She stepped inside and both Mulder and Scully followed her.  Scully stopped dead at the sight.

The walls were papered in pink and red rosebuds, which went with the flowered, flounced bedspread on the four-poster bed.  One of the throw pillows was covered in silk roses.  On the bedside table was a hurricane lamp with a single pink rose painted on the chimney.  There was a rocking chair with a rose-colored cushion and a dresser with a round framed mirror above it.  The figurine beside the mirror was a young woman in a flowing gown, holding a bouquet of roses.

Scully dragged her eyes away to spot Mulder.  At least the room had taken his attention off of Bobby Jo's attributes.  He was barely able to hold in his laugh.  Scully's glare helped him keep a straight face.

"I hope you like it.  This here's the bathroom.  It locks from both sides, so be careful sharin' it."  She smiled at Scully, then an even bigger smile for Mulder.  "Come on, I'll show you your room."

They left Scully's room and she hesitated a moment.  No, she had to see how his room was decorated.  She was only a step or two behind them when they entered.  It was the same size as hers, but the decorations in here were obviously better suited to a man, at least a man who was interested in duck hunting.  There were ducks swimming among reeds on the walls, a green bedspread that for all its potential for a male bedroom still had the three layers of ruffles that hers had.  On the dresser instead of the figurine was a painted duck decoy. 

He looked back at her, his eyes narrowed as she retreated, unable to keep the smile off of her face.

"Uh, thanks Bobby Jo," he said, deciding to look at her instead of the room.  "Listen, have you heard anything about the train being haunted?"

"Haunted?  Uh, you'll have to talk to Uncle Joe about that.  Dinner'll be ready in half an hour or so.  Ma'll ring the bell.  'Course you're welcome to come down early and just visit."

"Thanks, I might do that."  He watched her walk away, obviously enjoying the sight until he spotted Scully standing in the doorway of her room, watching him with one eyebrow rising.

"Uh, nice room, Scully."

"You too."  She backed into her room and shut the door, stopping further conversation.  He sighed and shut his own door.

She lifted her suitcase onto the folding luggage holder with tapestry straps and opened it.  She pulled out her makeup kit and headed for the shared bath.  She opened the door to see Mulder's back as he lifted the lid.

"Oh, excuse me."

He half turned, protecting his modesty, his eyes wide.  "Uh - "

"Just let me know when it's free."  She shut the door quickly and he closed his eyes, then proceeded with his business.

Scully leaned against the wall in her room.  Good grief . . .

When she heard the bell ring for dinner, she shook her head.  She was in the freaking twilight zone.  Out in the hall, there was no sight of Mulder so she tapped on his door.  There was no answer.  She headed downstairs and spotted him in the parlor.  The blonde was on one side of him, the brunette on the other and now a redhead had joined them, just as attractive as the others.  That was a jolt and it took her a minute to realize she thought of herself as the redhead in his life. 

The redhead was younger than the other two, with green eyes, but cast from the same mold.  What did they feed girls around here?

Scully cleared her throat lightly and Mulder looked over and stood.  Did he look guilty? 

"Scully, hi.  You know Billie Jo and Bobby Jo.  This is their sister, Betty Jo."

"Pleased to meet you."  Scully held out her hand and Betty Jo shook it.

"Dinner's ready.  Come on in the dinin' room and we'll bring it out."

She and Mulder headed to the dining room and took seats beside each other at the large dining room table, facing the lobby.  Uncle Joe was already there at the head of the table, next to Scully.  The swinging door from the kitchen opened and Billie Jo came in carrying a platter of fried chicken, she was followed by Bobby Jo, carrying a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes and one of green beans.  Betty Jo was after that carrying fried okra and a basket of biscuits and cornbread.  Billie Jo went back for the corn on the cob, and finally Kate joined them carrying the gravy boat and a fresh peach pie. 

Scully's mouth had fallen open.  There was no way she could eat this.  It looked and smelled delicious but she had to get into her clothes tomorrow too.  Now her partner could eat this, probably take thirds and lose weight from the exercise of getting it to his mouth.  Life just wasn't fair.  Did these women eat this?

Her silent question was answered as the food was passed around the table.  She took small portions, but it all looked so good.  Maybe if she ran in the morning . . .

After dinner, Scully returned to her room, while Mulder attempted once more to corral Uncle Joe to talk about this ghost.  She read for a while, then finally went ahead and got ready for bed.  She slipped into a tank top and matching shorts and propped up the pillows to read in bed.  It was early, but the sidewalks seemed to roll up early around here.

The knock on her bathroom door surprised her and she rose quickly to answer it.

"Evenin' Ma'am," Mulder drawled at her, but the rest of what he'd been about to say caught in his throat at the sight of her.

"I didn't expect you up here this early.  You left the sex triplets?"  She hadn't realized she was going to say that and was appalled.  She watched the shutter come down over his emotions.

"Don't worry, Agent, my reputation as eunuch is intact," he spoke coldly.  "Just wanted to be sure you were okay.  I'll see you at breakfast."  He closed the door without giving her a chance to apologize or comment.

Damn it, he'd blown it again.  Just last night she had been at his apartment.  She'd been relaxed, pleased to be with him.  After a couple of beers, and well into the movie, he'd leaned in.  Yeah, he was gonna go for it, he wanted to kiss her.  Hell, he wanted to make love to her.

She had shut him down so gently.  Merely rising from the couch as though she were already in motion before he started.  She'd left right after that.  That's why he'd picked this case.  Out of town, a romantic sounding inn, how was he to know the, what did she call them, the sex triplets, were here.  And who knew Scully would be bothered by any other woman. Hell.

He whipped his tie off over his head and unbuttoned his dress shirt.  He toed off his shoes and shoved down his slacks, removing his socks at the same time. 

~ ~ ~

She clambered out of the bed and hurried toward the bath.  Had he locked the door?  She opened it without knocking, but the bath was empty.  Why the hell had she said that.  She wasn't jealous, well, maybe of their ability to eat like that without gaining, but not of the way Mulder looked at them.  He was certainly entitled.  They were beautiful women.

She hesitated only a second, then opened the second door into his room.  He turned, surprised.  His shirt was open and his left leg raised as he stepped out of his slacks.  He turned and looked at her, but didn't reach to cover himself.

She couldn't help it, her eyes flicked down.  He still made no attempt to hide himself and she forced herself to meet his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked.  He turned finally, facing her now.  Her eyes flicked down again to the tiny blue plaid of the boxers he wore.  When she looked up it was to see him doing the same to her outfit.

"I should go."

"Don't," he whispered.

"Mulder - "

"Are you angry because I looked at those women?"

"No!  You can look at any - "

"I'd rather look at you."

"Why?" She was surprised her voice was only a whisper, but she didn't need to repeat herself.  He had stepped closer.  "We, you know we can't - "

"We can't.  But do you want to?"

She had to look up now; he was over her, close.  Too close.

"Mulder - "

"You said that.  Do you want to know why I looked at those women?"

"It, it's obvious."

"I look at them," he continued as though she hadn't answered, "Because I can't look at you.  It's against Bureau policy or your unspoken rules or something.  I want to look at you, I want to get close to you, but it's not allowed."

She opened her mouth, but he continued. 

"The other night, you were at my apartment.  We watched a movie, one you picked out as I remember; we had a couple of beers and a pizza.  You were relaxed, your shoes off, seeming to enjoy my company.  I know, I ruined it, I made a move.  You saw it, you let me down easy and you got the hell out of there as fast as you could.  I get the message, Scully."

She turned away, knowing she couldn't keep her emotions from her face.  To her horror, he moved around her, blocking her from the bath.  God, his eyes were penetrating.

"Scully?"

"I, I don't look like them."

"No, you don't.  I think you're more attractive."

"Damn it, you don't have to - "

"I think you're much more attractive.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Scully.  Not only are you a beautiful woman, you're probably the smartest person I know.  I want . . . I want to look at you, I want you to know I appreciate you."  His hand was touching her bare shoulder.  When had that happened?

His finger lightly trailed down her arm as his other hand cupped her chin, she couldn't look away.  He watched her eyes dilate.

Then before she realized it, she was crushed against his chest, his lips possessing hers.  Then his tongue was begging, no demanding, entry to her mouth.  She agreed.  When did her arms go around his neck?

His hand cupped her breast and his thumb caressed her nipple through her tank top.  She strained to increase the pressure and realized her legs were now around his waist.  Did this man realize he also caused missing time, at least where she was concerned.

She realized they were moving then, toward his bed as he kissed her.  She was kissing him back just as fiercely.

He lay her tenderly on his bed and reclined beside her, hovering over her.

"Mulder, we can't go back.  If we're not good - "

"Let me worry about that."

Instead of answering she rose to meet his lips again.  She hadn't expected this, not consciously anyway, but wasn't it inevitable?  He had the tank top off of her and tossed it toward the chair.

She pulled his shirt from his shoulders and he shucked it off, never releasing her.  Only his boxers and her shorts separated them now and they were doing nothing to hide him from her.  Hers were wet with her arousal as he nuzzled his way down her body.

She shivered but not from cold.  His finger hooked in the elastic of her shorts and when she raised her hips infinitesimally from the bed, he pulled them off her.  He felt her hands at his waistband and met her eyes.  He nodded and she pushed them down, her eyes widening slightly when his cock was exposed.

He lay stretched out beside her, turning her to face him.  He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, the jaw, the throat.

"Mu-Mulder?"

"Shh."

His hand lightly caressed the side of her breast, over her ribs, down into the dip of her waist and then over her hip.  It came to rest low on her belly, two fingers resting in her red curls.

Tentatively she reached up and let her hand rest on his chest.  She began to lightly stroke the scatter of hair there and brushed across his nipple.  It budded immediately and she smiled.  This was right, and it was time.

She didn't know if she nodded or if he just realized the same thing, but his hand moved to cup her sex and one long slender finger slowly entered her. 

It shocked her, and she bucked toward him.  She had been expecting it, but still the sensation shocked her.  How long since a man had touched her?

He said she was beautiful.  She didn't have the curves of the sex triplets, but he was certainly treating her as though she was beautiful and desirable.  He was taking his time, familiarizing himself with her body, this part, this one part he hadn't already possessed.

He was taking his time, in no hurry to pleasure himself.  His shaft was at full attention and she started to reach for him.  He withdrew his fingers and caught her hand.

"Not yet."

"Mulder, you need - "

He shook his head.  "This is for you.  Trust me, Scully."

"I do."  She made no sound, but he read it on her lips.  He smiled and brought the fingers that had been exploring her to his mouth, sucking on them.  Her face flushed but she couldn't look away.

"Too intimate, Scully?  Nothing can be too intimate between us."

She managed to nod, and then he thrust two fingers back into her and was fucking her strongly and firmly.  She could only gasp out a moan. 

"You like that?  How about this?"  Then he pressed against her clit and her eyes widened as she felt herself begin to quake from deep within a part of herself she had thought long lost. 

"Mu, Mu, Mulder - " She clasped his shoulder and he had her, holding her against him. 

"It's okay, Scully, I've got you."  He stroked her back, her shoulder, gentling her as she relearned the art of breathing.

Again he took his time, letting her regain herself at her own pace.  After a few minutes, she lay languid in his arms.  "You okay?"

"Mmmm."

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"Please do.  It's your turn."

"I don't know, I may be on a hair trigger here."

"As long as you're inside me," she murmured.

"Oh, that'll help."

"We can always have a second course . . . and dessert."

"Scully, I love the way you think."

"Inside me, please."

Please, the word shook him to the core.  He took possession of her lips again as he covered her with his body.

He entered her slowly, giving her time to adjust, to stretch to take him.  He hadn't been kidding about the hair trigger.  He was biting his lip now, holding on, wanting this to last.

Slowly he withdrew and thrust back into her . . . oh god!  He was watching her now, their eyes locked on each other.  He thrust again and her thighs tightened around him.  Too much, he couldn't hold back any longer and thrust deeply into her.  She felt him let go and wrapped herself around him, accepting all that he had to give her.

With trembling arms he lowered himself onto her, into the cradle of her body and buried his face in her neck.  "I love you, Scully."

She nuzzled the side of his face.  "I think I've always loved you, Mulder."

He rolled over, pulling her with him, holding her, knowing he would never really let her go.

He didn't know how long he had slept when he felt her start to rise from the bed.  His arm went around her.  "Stay."

"Mulder, I can't let them see that my bed wasn't slept in.  It's okay."

"Mmm, okay."  He rolled over and she thought he was going to drift off, but he kept moving and got out on the other side of the bed.

"Go back to sleep, it's okay."

"No, you might need some protection from thorns or something, besides, I'm ready for dessert."  His look sent her heart racing and she smiled as he took her hand and led her back to the rose room.

*****

All three of the young women were in the lobby when the agents made their way down the next morning.  Scully didn't look at them and forced herself not to straighten her hair back again.  Mulder on the other hand was as relaxed and happy as she'd ever seen him.

Betty Jo, the youngest looked over at her sisters.  "Told you so."

They both glared at their little sister and moved away to serve breakfast.  Scully felt her face flush, and didn't look over at Mulder.  She heard him chuckle and managed not to elbow him.  They turned into the dining room and took the seats they had used the night before.  Uncle Joe wasn't at the table.

The 'sex triplets,' Mulder would always think of them that way now and relish their help, came in from the kitchen carrying platters of scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, biscuits and pitchers of orange juice.

Scully winced at the sight.  Mulder leaned toward her.  "You worked off that and more."

The look she shot him should have seared his brain, but he managed to look blasé as he offered her juice.

They had finished breakfast, a fairly quiet one with only Kate and Mulder having a conversation.  As Betty Jo rose she turned to Kate.  "Ma, Billie Jo and Bobby Jo will be handling my kitchen duties the rest of this week."

Kate looked confused, but Scully's cheeks flamed.  Mulder kept quiet but couldn't quite hide his grin.

"Uh, Ms. Bradley - "

"Kate, please."

"Kate, have you seen Mr. Buchanan this morning?"

"No, and that's not like Uncle Joe.  He doesn't miss many meals."

Mulder looked over at Scully and nodded.  Centered again with the thought of their 'case' she agreed with her eyes, and watched as he left the dining room in search of the older man.

Scully moved to the corner of the dining room where she couldn't be seen through the archway into the lobby and waited.

Obviously the older man had been waiting for Mulder to leave and hurried into the dining room.  "Mr. Buchanan," Scully greeted him.

"Uh, excuse me, I - "

Mulder was behind him then and he sagged.

"We need to talk."  Kate returned to the dining room at that point and was watching them.  "There is no ghost, is there?"

"Uh . . . "

"Who called the FBI anyway?" Kate asked.

Mulder turned to her.  "A Mr. Ziffle, Fred Ziffle."

Kate snorted.  "You'd have gotten better information from Arnold."

"Who's Arnold?" Scully asked.

"His pig, and he's a lot more intelligent than Fred," Kate sniffed.

Scully just looked at Mulder.  After a moment they both looked at Joe.

"I didn't asked him to call the FBI!  I didn't want him to call anyone.  I, I just thought if people thought the train was haunted it might drum up some more business.  It was just a little publicity thing."

"Joe!" Kate shook her head.  "I'd ask how you could do something like this, but unfortunately I already know."  She turned to Mulder.  "How much trouble is he in?"

"I, I need to talk to my partner," Mulder said after a moment.  He turned to Scully and took her arm.  He led her out onto the porch.

"Well?" she asked before he could.

He took a deep breath.  "I find that I'm not that upset about being led on a wild goose chase."  He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were dancing.

"Really?  That's funny, because I feel the same way."

"Do you?"

She nodded.

"So, you want to cut him a break."

"Yes, just this once of course."

"Of course."

Scully turned to go back inside.  He caught her arm.  "Just this once, you're just talking about Uncle Joe, right?"

She bit her lips, but her eyes gleamed.  "What else could I be talking about?"

Author's Note:

You did ask for it.  Okay, I'm pretty sure a lot of you guys out there have never even seen Petticoat Junction.  It premiered in 1963 and ran for 7 seasons.  Check it out on IMDB.

Widow Kate Bradley owns the Shady Rest Hotel and with her three beautiful daughters, runs it on the outskirts of Hooterville.  Uncle Joe, is the handy man around the family hotel, and is always coming up with zany ideas.  City folk escape from hectic urban life with brief stays in the rural village where nothing much ever happens. Their whole town revolves around the train "The Cannon Ball".  Floyd and Charley make regular runs in the Hooterville Cannonball, an ancient steam train that is still the town's chief public transportation to Drucker's General Store. And old Uncle Joe? He's a-movin' kinda slow.

Oh, and check this out:  http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=subject%3A%22Petticoat%20Junction%22
Some of the PJ episodes are online on the Wayback Machine site.