She stirred, waking slowing, then felt a hand caress her cheek. She woke with a start, her eyes wide.
“Sorry. I just, I needed to touch you.”
She nodded, her eyes drinking in the sight of this man.
“I want you.” She stated it simply.
“You have me. I think you’ve always had me.”
She watched his eyes grow moist, “Mulder?”
“I imagined things . . . a little differently.”
“William.” Tears formed in her own eyes. “Mulder, do you think you can ever for- “
“I’m sorry Scully, I’m so sorry. I thought you’d be safer. I thought you’d both be safer if I . . . I should never have left you alone. It was too much to put on you. I - “
“Mulder? You blame yourself?”
“Of course I do. If I’d been there - “
“No. No, Mulder. If you’d been there you would never have found out what you did, you wouldn’t know what can kill them. You might have been killed.”
“If it kept you and William safe - “
“No! Don’t even say it.”
He closed his mouth, but she saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, trying to get his composure. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Do you . .. Do you think, together we could . . . “ She couldn’t say it, but she knew he understood.
He looked deep into her eyes, and after a long moment shook his head slowly. “No, not now.”
The look in her eyes nearly undid him. “Scully, I . . . do you remember the boy in my dreams? The boy on the beach?”
“While you were sick? That dream? I . . . I didn’t know you still had it.”
He nodded, “Even more recently.”
She waited, why had he brought that up?
He sighed, “I knew that William wasn’t with you. I knew before Skinner told me.”
“How?”
“The boy, the boy in the dream . . . he, he's William.”
Her eyes flew open and her lips parted in shock. Mulder’s hand came up and caressed her cheek lightly, brushing away a tear.
“He told me . . . I think he is safe, for now. He knows why - “
“Do you know where he is? Has he told you that?” She broke in anxiously.
“I . . . I have an idea, but for now Scully, for now we need to, to do what we can.”
“What we can.” She was crying now. The only comfort he could offer was his arms around her, and to be honest, he wasn’t sure who derived more comfort from that, him or her.
“You dreamed about him.”
“I didn’t know. I didn’t even think about the boy in the dream being a real person. I dreamed about him long before . . . but when he told me, it felt right. It was the last dream when I found out . . . “ Damn this was hard. “I realized that, that things were clearer to me after one of the dreams with him. It was after one of them that I had the, the leap that the iron ore could kill them. You’ve seen it work. He told me, William told me.”
She was still crying and her eyes, her eyes . . .
”I didn’t mean to make it worse.”
She shook her head. “I don’t really remember when I haven’t been crying lately.”
“Oh Scully.” He pulled her against him and she buried her face in his chest.
“Closer. Please, don’t ever let me go.”
He shook his head. “Not again. I won’t let you go again. I can’t. I can’t go that long without seeing you, being with you.” He kissed her forehead, then moved down her face, kissing away the tears on her cheeks and on to her lips. She could taste the salt from her tears on him, and felt his growing arousal.
“Scully . . . “
“Please, Mulder please.” His hand found her sash and loosened it, opening her robe. His breath caught, all of this time they’d been together talking, she had been nude beneath that robe. God, she was beautiful, her body more mature, more womanly now from the birth of their son.
She moved, letting her thigh brush against him and his hand moved down, cupping her buttocks. Then his fingers found her core. She was wet, so wet and it was for him.
His jeans were now beyond uncomfortable. She protested when his hands left her, but he needed to rid himself of these clothes.
She was already pulling him back to her as his clothes hit the floor and her warm little hand curled around him. He moaned and let his fingers return to that hot wet place that was his.
“Mulder, it’s been a long time.”
His eyes smiled, yes only his. “For me too Scully.”
Part of her she hadn’t realized was tense, relaxed. He’d been faithful to her. She wasn’t surprised, but it felt good to hear.
His cock was questing at her now and she opened herself to him. He entered her slowly, feeling her stretch to accommodate him. He’d forgotten how tight, how hot she was. Their eyes locked on one another’s and her lips parted as he paused, then withdrew and entered her again, a little deeper, giving them both time. For now they had time. This was a reacquainting, there was no hurry. He entered her again deeper still and her eyes fluttered. Then he was completely sheathed within her. It was as though, for a moment, the universe had become right again.
Then he withdrew and at her almost imperceptible nod, plunged himself back into her. He wanted this, to be inside of her forever. Again and again, he thrust himself into her body, savoring every sensation. How had he survived so long without her?
He heard the change in her breathing, she was close and he wanted to feel her come around him. His fingers entered into the game; he’d forgotten nothing about what this woman wanted and he pressed firmly against her throbbing bundle of nerves.
It overtook her like a wave, pulling her under, but she had nothing to fear in this man’s arms. Here she was safe, so she surrendered to his body as she spasmed around him. He was watching her, his eyes never leaving hers - years worth of feelings shared wordlessly.
Then she was pulling him with her, he thrust again, once, twice and gave himself to her, his essence pouring into her body. Time lost meaning as he shuddered above her. Only when his trembling arms could no long support him did he leave her body to her whimpering moan.
He kissed the tears she hadn’t been aware of from her face again and pulled her to him.
“Mulder.”
“I’m right here. Go on to sleep, you need to rest. I have you.”
After a moment she nodded, her eyes already closing from the emotions of the last several days. He held her close, caressing her arm as she slipped under.
His hand rested on her belly. He’d been imprudent tonight. This woman had already given birth to his child once. There was nothing to say it couldn’t happen again, but he’d wanted nothing between them tonight. Now he knew that what they had would last, for whatever time they had, they were together.