He let himself into his apartment. Finally.
He dropped his bag beside the couch, aware that he had been a menace to society
on the road for at least the last hour. But every time he had thought about
stopping for the night, that feeling had come over him. He had to get home,
whatever it was, he had to get home. Now that he was here, he did feel a
sense of relief.
He didn’t bother to turn on the light, moving toward the bed by memory. He stopped when something stirred in his bed. What the hell? He reached for his gun without thinking. Hell, he was wearing his boxers. Then a light from the street caught the glint of red hair on his pillow.
His eyes widened, Scully? What was
Scully doing here? And in his bed? Should he wake her? He glanced out at the
couch and shook his head. She could kill him in the morning; he crawled into bed
beside her. She turned toward him and burrowed into his chest. The fact that she
had been crying registered as his arms closed around her and he sank into sleep.
“Uh, Scully? Scully, wake up.”
She lifted her head, clearly
disoriented. “Mulder? What are you . . . “
“This is my place, Scully.”
By then she was awake enough to
realize her position and the circumstances.
“Oh my God.” She moved off of him
quickly.
“It’s . . . it’s okay Scully.” He
moved slightly away from her anyway. “Why, why are you here?”
The question brought memory, and
tears, back to her eyes.
“Scully, what? What happened? It’s
not, your mother’s okay, isn’t she?” He propped himself up on one elbow to watch
her.
“She’s fine. That’s not . . . Do
you remember Chloe?”
“Chloe. Yeah, she’s one of your
roommates from school, right?”
She nodded.
“Scully, what happened?”
“There was a, a fire. They were
having some work done on their house and . . . they think . . . “
“Is she dead?”
“Her husband and the two kids are.
She’s in the burn unit.”
Mulder winced, and ran a hand down
her arm. That’s when he realized she was wearing one of his gray t-shirts. And
he knew she had nothing on under it, she’d been lying on him.
Real mature Mulder, focus on
her, not the fact that they’d never been together quite like this before.
“They have her on . . . on suicide
watch. The baby,” a sob broke from her then, and his hand was back on her arm.
“The baby was only seven weeks old.”
He closed his eyes against the
pain in her voice.
“I . . . I was invited to a baby
shower for her a couple of months ago, and . . . and I didn’t go. She’s a good
friend and I told her I was going to be out of town.”
“We travel a lot Scully.”
“We weren’t out of town. I lied to
her. I couldn’t go. I couldn’t go because . . . “
“Because the in vitro had failed.”
He made the connection of the date suddenly.
She was crying now. “She’s my
friend, she was having a baby and I couldn’t be happy for her. I couldn’t put
aside how I felt for a couple of hours to share her joy. And now that innocent
baby is gone and I never even saw him.”
“Scully - “
“They won’t let me see her, but I
don’t know what I would say to her anyway.”
“Scully, you’re human. You were
hurting and you did what you had to, to look after yourself. There was no way
you could know something like this would happen.”
She seemed to relax a little at
his words, though the tears didn’t quit entirely.
He decided to change the subject
for a little while. “Scully, why here?”
She wouldn’t look at him then.
“I’m guilty of breaking and entering too.”
“How can you break in when you
have a key? Scully, you know you’re always welcome here. I just don’t . . .have
you ever done this before?”
The blush betrayed her and his
eyes widened. “Scully?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. I just don’t
understand.” He waited.
“Sometimes . . . sometimes I need
. . . you’re not around and I . . . I guess I need a Mulder-fix or something.”
He blinked at that, unable to
think of an appropriate comment. She came here when she needed . . . what? She
was his strength, not the other way around. Was he?
I wasn’t expecting you back last
night. I thought - “
“You thought I’d never know?”
She nodded, looking away. It was
like he was hovering over her now. “I need to go.”
“Scully, I wasn’t going to come
home last night.” He started, ignoring her words about leaving. “But something
kept nagging at me. Every time I thought about stopping, I couldn’t. I felt like
I needed to be here. And when I got here, you were here and it was okay.”
”What are you talking about?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe
I knew that you needed me.”
Her eyebrow went up then and she
shifted to give herself a little more space. Her thigh brushed his cock, which
he had been trying desperately to ignore. He moved farther away. “I’m sorry, I .
. . “
“I should leave.” But for some
reason she didn’t vault from the bed.
“Please don’t.”
She looked up at him and quickly
away. “Mulder - “
“You came here for . . . for
comfort. Don’t let me scare you off.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Good. He doesn’t mean any harm.”
She glanced up startled and a
surprised laugh escaped her. “Is this how you want to ‘comfort’ me?”
“I’m more than willing Scully.”
“Wha . . . what did you say?”
Maybe she didn’t realize she had moved closer to him, but he did.
“Maybe we haven’t been intimate
quite this way, but . . . “
“I didn’t come here expecting
this.”
“I know. You thought you’d be
alone here. I’m still working on that. But you didn’t seem to mind having me in
the bed with you last night.”
She felt the heat in her face
again as she remembered exactly where she had awakened.
“Am I embarrassing you?”
“Yes. Mulder, we’ve never talked
about this.”
“Not this maybe, but . . . but you
did ask for my sperm. I don’t mean to bring up bad memories, Scully. But doesn’t
that show that I’m here for you for whatever you need. You have to know that.”
“I do.” It was a whisper
He nodded, “Maybe I better let you
get up.” He moved to sit up himself.
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t leave.”
There was a long pause, then he
settled back beside her and lifted his hand to trace her cheekbone with his
finger. “I won’t.” His finger continued on to lightly outline her lips. He felt
her shudder. “Scully?”
“Is this a good idea?”
“Good question.”
“Mulder, if we do this, we can’t
go back.”
“Back to what, Scully? Back to
when we weren’t in each other’s lives? Could you do that now?”
The shake of her head was almost
imperceptible.
“Neither could I. Scully, I could
feel your need for me last night. It was the strongest yet.”
“What?”
“Whenever we’re . . . apart, I
feel the pull of you. I thought it was just . . . I don’t know. I don’t know
what to call it, but it’s there. Last night I couldn’t stop. I had to be here
even though I didn’t know why. You needed me - maybe the most you have since . .
. “
“Since I asked you to father my
child?”
He nodded. “Think what a barrier
we breeched then. Now the essence of you is in me, like a magnet to a pole.”
“Or rather your essence was in
me.”
He smiled at that and after a
moment she returned it. “Yeah. I guess it was.”
She moved closer to him and he
took her into his arms. He wasn't going to push her or rush her, but she was
here - she'd come to him again, because she needed, and she wanted him to meet
her needs.
His arms tightened as his smile
grew. Whatever she wanted or needed he'd be here for her.
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