Pregnant Dreams (PG-13)


 

"Scully, you can't have this . . .  Scully, listen to me - there's no way you should carry this child, if you could even call it a child.  We both know what could happen, to you and to whatever it is you're carrying.  You can't do it!"

"Mulder, please.  I know this is a shock to you.  But I'm not asking anything of you.  I don't expect you to support this child, or . . . or be with me.  But it is a child Mulder, it's our child - the child that you gave me and I want it.  Mulder, please."

"No Scully.  You don't understand.  You don't know what I know, what I've been through.  You can't give birth to that, that thing.  Even if you could, you shouldn't!  I doubt you could survive it anyway and that alone is enough for me to force you to abort it.  But you're a doctor, you know!  You have to know that you cannot have this . . . "  He had grabbed her shoulders now, as though to shake the reality of the situation into her.

"It's, it's yours Mulder."

"No, no it's not mine and it's not yours Scully."

"But we . . . we were intimate, we didn't use protection because, because I thought I couldn't conceive.  It's my fault, I don't hold you responsible - "

"Scully, this thing is not growing in you because we were together.   You and I had nothing to do with it.  I wish we had, I wish you were carrying my baby.  Do you honestly think I wouldn'be be thrilled to have a child with you?  But this isn't it.   This isn't a baby!  This was done to you, done to us and you can't continue it."

"Mulder, no!  No I don't believe that."

"You don't have a choice!  You have to get rid of it, before it kills you.  I won't let you die from this, not this.  You know it's not been an easy pregnancy so far, you're got to know that something is wrong.  Don't blind yourself to this.  Don't let your emotions rule you in this."

"How can I not!  Mulder it is a baby, I've come to love it.  I believe it's a child, I believe it's your child!  You can't ask me to just get rid of it.  I've carried it this long, I've fought to carry it and I want to continue to carry it.  I want to go full term.  I want to see you in my baby's face."

He turned from her then, unable to look into her eyes any longer.  "Mulder, no, don't turn away.  Listen to me, you don't know for certain that something's wrong.  You don't know it's not your baby.  You're the only possibility - you do know that, don't you?"

His shoulders were slumped, "I'm not doubting your commitment to me.  I'm not accusing you of seeing anyone else.  I'm telling you that what's growing in you is a monster, it's not human and carrying it will kill you.   It's not a baby, it's not my baby!  You've got to believe me and you've got to get rid of it.  Because I'm not going to stay here and watch you die from this.  I won't allow it!"

He turned then and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

*****

She woke with a start, her hand automatically going to the bulge of her stomach.  She looked around, she was home, this was her room, her bed.  It was a dream.  Mulder hadn't been here.  Mulder hadn't said those things - and they weren't true.  This was their baby, his baby and it was going to be okay.  It had to be.

She covered her eyes with a shaking hand.  It was just a bad dream.  It had to be.