Skinner made his
way carefully from his bathroom to find Scully waiting beside his bed, which
she’d already turned down.
“Wow, what
service.”
“Sorry, I don’t
have any mints.” She smiled at him.
He grinned and
eased himself into the bed. She handed him his medication and some water. He
took it with a grimace, then to his surprise, she sat beside him on the bed.
She had been by his side every time he’d been awake in Boise, but . . .
“Scully? Where,
where’s Mulder?”
“I sent him
home.”
Skinner blinked.
“You know you could go on home too, Scully.”
“I’m staying, and
you might as well accept it.”
He nodded. “But
you and Mulder haven’t seen each other in - “
“I have no desire
to see Agent Mulder.”
He mulled that
for a moment. “Scully - “
“You need to get
some rest.” Her hand caressed his shoulder, and finally she stood and left the
room. Skinner watched with his mouth slightly open. What the . . . no, he was
imagining things.
The next morning
he woke as the door opened to the sight of Dana Scully in pjs wearing one of his
robes. He couldn’t help the quick intake of breath. He only hoped she wouldn’t
notice.
She adjusted his
pillows so that he could sit up, and handed him his medication along with some
water.
“You look better
this morning. More color in your face.”
He didn’t mention
that she was more than a little responsible for that. “Uh, yes. My own bed . .
. “ He let his voice trail off.
“Your breakfast
is ready, scrambled eggs and toast. That’s about all you have.”
“Sorry, I don’t
usually eat here.”
“No problem.” She
left and returned almost immediately with a tray. That surprised him, he could
have gone to the table, but he ate, enjoying the pampering just a little. When
he was finished, she moved the tray to the dresser.
“Well, I’ll bathe
you and - “
“You will not!”
he blurted that out, and watched her eyebrow rise again. “I, I can shower now,
thank you.” Shit, he could feel the blush.
“Fine, take your
shower, then I’ll fix your bandages.”
“Don’t you have
some things you need to do?” The thoughts of her waiting out here, while he
showered were more than a little disturbing.
“Yes, I need to
run by my apartment and then get some groceries, but not until I have you back
in bed.” She put her hand out to help him to his feet, but he avoided her.
“I’ll hurry so
that you can get going.”
“Do not
rush. I’ll be here.”
He nodded, that’s
what he was afraid of.
When he returned
to his bedroom, she was dressed and waiting for him. He felt a little better
with her dressed, and dismissed his earlier misgivings. It was ridiculous
anyway, this was Dana Scully and no way would she ever be interested in anyone
other than Fox Mulder. He wasn’t blind to the way they were with each other.
They were having problems now, but it was temporary.
He had to remove
his pajamas top for her to check his wounds. She applied an antibiotic ointment
and bandaged him back up, then reached for his shirt. Her hand caressed his
chest for just an instant before slipping his arm into the first sleeve.
He had frozen at
the touch. Had he imagined it? He hadn’t imagined his reaction to it. Even in
his weaken condition, he felt . . . aroused. Oh god, he was an idiot.
“Walter, would
you like to sit out in the living room while I’m out? I shouldn’t be gone
long.”
“Yeah, that . . .
that’s a good idea.” He rose to his feet again, and felt her hand lightly touch
his arm.
He sank into his
favorite easy chair, and she handed him the remote and the newspaper.
“I won’t be long,
and I have my cell phone with me.”
*****
She let herself
into her apartment and headed for her bedroom. She gathered up some clothes and
packed quickly. Then she looked her mail over and noticed her answering
machine. Twelve messages. She pressed the button, ten were from Mulder. He
hadn’t left a message every time, but she knew it was him, even the hang-ups.
Also one from her landlord, and one from her mother.
She left a return
message on her mother’s machine and headed to the grocery.
When she let
herself back into Skinner’s apartment, he had drifted off in the chair, the TV
going.
She put away the
groceries she’d purchased, then went to wake him.
He felt a light
brush on his forehead, then felt her hand on his shoulder. “Walter?”
“Um, sorry, guess
I fell asleep.”
She smiled,
“You’ll be more comfortable in bed. Come on.” She helped him to his feet and
he walked slowly to his room. In there he glanced at the mirror and stopped.
There was a light colored smear on his . . . she’d kissed his forehead? What
the hell . . .
“Come on,
Walter. Finish your nap and I’ll fix you some lunch.”
“Oh, yes. Thank
you.” He settled in the bed and was asleep again after touching his forehead.
When he woke, she
brought him lunch, soup and half a sandwich, which he nearly finished. After he
had eaten, he carried the tray back into the kitchen.
“I could have - “
“Yes, you could
have, but I’m used to looking after myself and I will be again, shortly.”
She didn’t
respond, just taking the tray and loading the dishwasher.
“Dana, I need to
get back to work. I know, I know, I’m not planning to go into the office, but I
could at least catch up on my memos and email. I hate to ask, but would you
mind going to the office and picking up my laptop and mail?”
“I suppose that
wouldn’t be too strenuous.”
“Definitely not,
and I need to get back in the loop. My mind still works, even if I can’t go
sparring in the ring right now.”
The look she sent
him gave him no doubt of her opinion on that and he turned away smiling
slightly.
When the kitchen
was clean, she made sure he was surrounded by what he might need and headed for
the office.
Kim helped her
gather up what he had requested and if the woman seemed a little miffed at her
intrusion, Scully decided to ignore it. After taking his things out to her car,
she realized she needed some of her own work to catch up on as well. She
glanced over at the space Mulder usually used to park, and it was empty. Good,
she could be in and out without seeing him.
She took the
steps to the basement to avoid everyone and opened the door to their office.
“Scully, could we
talk?”
She jerked,
startled at his voice. Damn, she had thought he wouldn’t be here. She
straightened up and turned to face him, her expression cold.
He managed not to
flinch, but his confidence sank even lower.
She waited, but
didn’t help.
“Are, Scully, are
you and Skinner involved?”
She managed to
keep her face impassive. “I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”
“I know.” He
leaned against the desk. It wasn’t only to look casual; her distance was making
his knees weak. “But I’m hoping that you’ll give me . . . that we can talk
about this.”
She looked him
straight in the eye. “I care about him.”
He swallowed, but
his Adam’s apple was the only part of him that moved for a long moment. “I
see. And, and us. Where do we . . . “
Again she just
met his eyes.
“We, we had a
relationship.” He managed to continue. “Do we now?” There, he’d gotten it out.
“We’re partners,
for now.”
For now? That
sent an icy shaft through his heart. “Scully?”
“What?”
“Nothing.
Thanks.”
Scully nodded and
turned away from him toward the door. Once she was out of sight, he sank down
into a squat, no longer able to stand. He buried his face in his hands. He
didn’t hear or see her return for her briefcase.
She saw him, and
her eyes widened in surprise. His devastation seemed total. She quietly backed
away.
Scully hurried to
her car and let herself in, but didn’t move to start the engine. She sat there
thinking for a long time, guilt creeping up on her. Unable to reach any
conclusions that seemed to work, she started the engine and pulled out.
She was still
deep into herself when she reached Walter’s apartment, and let herself in, not
realizing he was in the living room. He watched her unobserved for nearly a
minute before she realized it. She blinked as though waking and smiled.
“I didn’t know
you’d be up and about.”
“I can’t stay in
bed forever; I need to build up some stamina.”
She nodded.
“What’s wrong?”
“What? Nothing,
I’m fine.”
Skinner smiled at
that.
“What?”
“Mulder hates
that phrase. I understand why now.” He noted the wince at the use of Mulder’s
name and decided to continue. “Since we both know you’re not ‘fine’ what is
happening? Did you run into Mulder?”
She stared at him
for a moment, then sank onto the couch facing his chair. “Yes, I saw Mulder.”
“And?”
“I . . . I guess
I threatened him, talking about transferring out of the X-Files.”
Skinner winced
then. “How did he take that?”
She wouldn’t look
up at him.
“That well, huh?”
“I’m not even
sure I meant it. I’ve just been so angry.”
“Mulder didn’t
shoot me.”
“I know that!”
“Do you?”
“You wouldn’t
have been there if - "
“That was my
decision, not his.” She opened her mouth to dispute that, but he kept talking.
“Scully, I didn’t have to head out there. Mulder made one of his leaps, this
one didn’t pan out, but he’s still well above average. You know that.”
“He’s reckless,
he - “
“That’s not
exactly news.”
“But - "
“Isn’t that one
of the things that make him so fascinating?”
Her head jerked
up, and then her cheeks colored.
“Scully, I’ve
known Mulder longer than you have. Maybe not as intimately as you, and I don’t
mean to infer anything there, but I do know something about the man, about his .
. . insecurities.”
“Insecurities?”
“I know the story
of his sister. He didn’t tell me, he would only speak of something like that to
someone he trusts completely. I read the file after he was assigned to me.
When he was given the X-Files and, and got out from under Patterson’s thumb.”
“He, he told me,
but it was long before he trusted me.”
“The man has
instincts; it’s one of the things that makes him such a good profiler. If he
told you early in your relationship, he was following that instinct. You should
know he doesn’t always realize he’s doing it.”
She nodded.
“You care about
him. Don’t, it’s okay.” Skinner held up his hand to forestall her. “He’s,
he’s come to rely on you. You know he doesn’t have a lot of people in his
life. If you don’t want to be one of them, that’s your choice, but I can’t be
your excuse to push him away. Believe me, having you look after me has been . .
. well, very nice for me.”
“I didn’t do it
to make Mulder jealous,” she heard herself say.
“I know that.
But I do think you did it partially out of a sense of guilt.”
“I didn’t - "
“I want you to
know it wasn’t your fault any more than it was Mulder’s. Some lowlife robbing a
convenience store shot me. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, as
nice as it’s been to have my own special duty doctor, I want you to go home.”
“You need - “
“I’ll be okay. I
appreciate what you’ve done and, and if I wasn’t your supervisor, I might let
you stay longer, but I can’t. And you need some time to think, alone.”
She faced him
then, and he could see how torn she was. “I’ve hurt him.”
“And he’s hurt
you. Does that make you even?”
“That’s not - “
“Of course it is,
you’re human. But before it goes any farther, you need to talk. Really talk.
Mulder’s the psychologist, he - “
“Some
psychologist,” she huffed.
Skinner grinned.
“If nothing else, you two are friends. I refuse to be the reason for that
deteriorating. He needs you, Scully and, and I’m not sure it’s totally
one-sided. Take a deep breath and go find him.”
“What about you?”
“I’m a big boy.
I can look after myself, truly. I will miss your companionship, but I hope to
see you when I return to the office.”
“I don’t think
Kim will let me back in,” she said quietly.
Skinner looked up
startled.
“She’s quite
protective of you.”
He had no comment
on that for a moment, then, “Matchmaking, Scully?”
“If you can point
out things, Sir, I think I should as well.”
“Go on, get out
of here. You can pick up your things later. I think you need to check on your
partner right now.” He noted the look of fear in her eyes, but she had the
courage to do this. He knew the woman that well at least.
She took that
deep breath he had advised and rose from the couch. “Mulder’s right, there’s a
lot of Marine still left in you, sir.”
He winked and she
actually smiled, then left the apartment.
Once again in her
car, her courage flagged and she found herself just gripping the steering wheel
without having turned on the engine. She’d hurt Mulder, and if she were honest,
she’d done it on purpose. He had ditched her, not listened to her about a bogus
clue and caused so much harm to one of their few friends at the Bureau. She
just had ignored the pain she could cause him. Skinner had seen way too much
regarding their ‘relationship’; no wonder there were so many damn rumors and,
and bets about them. This wasn’t helping and she did need to put this right.
She might not be able to repair the damage completely; she’d hit him at his most
vulnerable spot - his fear of abandonment. She’d known that as soon as the
words were out of her mouth. Her damn pride had kept her from saying something
then, and the fact he wouldn’t have wanted her to see him like that.
Damn she was all
over the place on this. Being away from Mulder, on the outs with him, was
affecting her more than it should. She’d actually brushed a kiss on Skinner’s
forehead earlier. Thank goodness she’d worn a neutral color.
She turned the
key and pulled away from the curb. His place, he’d probably go there. He
wouldn’t have stayed at work. He was too upset for that, thanks to her.
His car wasn’t in
front of his place. Okay, what was plan B? Where would he go? The Gunmen?
No, this was personal and he wouldn’t share it with them. Her insight surprised
her, but she could feel the rightness of it. He would go off alone to lick his
wounds. Now, where was ‘alone’?”
She drove around
the block to make sure she hadn’t missed his car, or he hadn’t arrived after
her, but then branched out. She finally spotted his car down the block from a
bar he had mentioned a couple of times. Drinking? Her heart sank, but at least
she’d found him. She parked behind him and headed inside.
She had to stop
just inside the door to allow her eyes to adjust. There were very few people
here this early, and finally she spotted him, at the far end of the bar. He
hadn’t looked up when the door opened. He had a beer in front of him and she
didn’t see any empties. That was good, right?
Scully took the
seat beside him and he leaned in the other direction, not even looking to see
who had taken the seat. “Mulder?”
He jerked and
nearly turned over the bottle. “What are you doing here?” He certainly didn’t
sound friendly.
“I, you’re
right. We need to talk.”
“Not necessary,
Scully. I got it, I screwed up one time too many. Hey, it was fun while it
lasted.”
Her hand came to
rest on his wrist and his whole body froze. “Please?”
He forced himself
to look at her. “Why?”
“I, I didn’t
fight fair.”
“I did?”
“You didn’t fight
at all. You were just you, and I . . . “
“Yeah, sorry
about that.”
“Mulder, please,
can we go somewhere?”
“We’re
somewhere.”
She just looked
at him and finally he pushed the bottle of beer away and rose from the stool.
He was steady on his feet, but she wasn’t sure that wasn’t just bravado, so she
headed to her car and opened the passenger side for him.
“You’re a real
gentleman,” he said.
“Yeah, just get
in.”
“I’m not drunk,
Scully.”
“No, but you
might ditch me again. It’s harder when I’m driving.” He winced at that, but
kept his mouth shut and got in. He buckled as she rounded the car and said
nothing when she drove back to his apartment.
“Here? You don’t
want neutral territory?” He looked around.
“I’d rather have
someplace comfortable, where I feel safe.” He turned then to look at her. She
exited the car and headed inside, not checking to see if he was following.
After a moment he was, musing on her comment.
She used her key
to open the door as he watched, silently. She headed on in and after a second
he followed. She was headed for the couch, but he stopped in the arch, his
hands going up to the molding and hanging there.
“Why are you
here?”
“I told you, we
need to talk.”
“If you’re going
to tell me where you’re transferring to, I’m not sure I - “
“Do you want me
to go?”
He hesitated at
that. “It’s what you want, hell it’s what you deserve.”
“Do you want me
to go?” she asked again.
“Why are you
asking me? It’s your decision.”
She nodded.
“Yes, I guess it is. Mulder, I was angry about you ditching me.” He just
watched her. “Okay, I was furious.”
“I never gave you
the chance to say I told you so. Go ahead.”
She shook her
head. “You saw something I didn’t, as usual. But you didn’t listen to me, I
felt dismissed.”
“I - “
She continued,
ignoring his interruption. “Before I had a chance to cool down and look at it
without emotion, Skinner was shot.” She looked up in time to see the wince.
“That wasn’t your fault.”
His head jerked
at those words, but he kept quiet.
“I was angry,
then I was thrown into a situation where I had no control and a friend of ours
was in danger. I didn’t handle it well.”
“Wait, wait a
minute. Are you apologizing to me?”
“Yes. I didn’t -
“
“Don’t! Don’t
apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the screw up. I did ditch you; I
left you behind for no good reason. I got Skinner shot.”
“You didn’t shoot
him, you didn’t ask him to come out there.”
He looked
confused then. “It’s my fault.”
“You started a
chain of events, maybe. I’m the one that overreacted.”
He dropped his
hands to his side then. “What are you saying?”
“If you’ll let
me, I’d like to stay.”
“With me?”
She smiled
slightly then. “Yes, with you.”
“Why?” He seemed
honestly clueless and her smile faded.
“Mulder, we had a
fight, a big one. That doesn’t mean the relationship we’ve built over the years
has to end. I, I’ve spent too much time with you to want that.”
“I don’t
understand. An hour ago you wanted to transfer out, get away from me. What
changed?”
“I, I realized
what I’d said. I don’t want to go. I want to repair this, if you want to work
with me.”
“I don’t know
what . . . “
“I know. I’m not
sure either.”
“Aren’t you
involved with, with Skinner?”
“Skinner is my
friend, our friend and I care about him.” She watched his face closely.
“He’s not my partner; he’s not the person that has saved my life over and over.
He’s not the person I call when I need help. He didn’t race to the Antarctic to
save me, he’s not the person I called when I found . . . when I found Emily.”
“What, what do I
do to make this up to you?”
She relaxed back
on the couch then. “The same thing I have to do.” She patted the couch beside
her. “We need to talk.”