Reticence (NC-17)

New Page 1


“Why?” She stood just staring at him even though Mulder had already left.
“When you look at me, you see a monster . . . But I was just feeding the hunger.”  Incanto met her eyes, unflinching.
“You're more than a monster. You didn't just feed on their bodies. You fed on their minds.”
“My weakness was no greater than theirs. I gave them what they wanted.  They gave me what I needed.”
“Not anymore.” She turned to leave, but he spoke again. 
"I morti non sono più soli" He translated then, "The dead are no longer lonely."
“Let me out...”


Mulder had paused just outside the door when he realized she wasn’t behind him.  He approached her quickly at the look on her face.  “What?”


She shook her head and moved past him.  His hand came up to guide her, touching her lower back gently.  She didn’t even feel it as she moved out of the building and to the car.  It was starting to rain as she sank into the seat and looked out the window.  Mulder rounded the car and took the driver’s seat but didn’t start the engine, watching her instead.




She shook her head again. “Let’s get out of here.”


He started the car and pulled out into traffic.  They made the trip in silence, though he glanced at her more than once.  By the time they had reached the hotel, the rain was coming down full force. 


“Hang on.  I’ve got the umbrella,” he spoke as she reached for the door handle.  She hesitated, but the lightning that bloomed to the west decided for her.


He opened her door, covering her, then they hurried inside.  They were wet, but not soaked by the time they reached the lobby.  He lowered the umbrella and his hand again found his spot just above her waist, leading her to the elevator.


They rode up to the third floor and turned left as they stepped out.  Her room was first and he waited for her to open her door.  She stepped inside, then looked back at him.  “What?”


At that he followed her in.  “Did Incanto say something to you?”


“It’s okay.”


He hesitated, then decided to change the subject.  She obviously wasn’t ready to talk about it now, if ever.  “You hungry?”


“No.  You go ahead.  I’m fine.”  The flash of lightning, followed immediately by the boom of thunder startled him.


“Uh, I guess I am too.”  The next flash was followed by darkness in the room and the building vibrated from the thunder.  “Shit.”  The only light was the gloom from the window, where her curtain was half open.


Scully moved toward him.  She knew he was uncomfortable in storms, just as she was on planes.  They didn’t talk about it, it just was.  “I think your dinner needs to be delayed.”


He managed a chuckle.  “I think you’re right.  I, uh, I guess I’ll go change.”


“You don’t have to leave.”


“Thanks, but I’m sure you’d like to get comfortable.  Maybe I’ll check back later.”


“You sure?”


She saw him wink. “I’m a big boy.”  He let himself out and the gloom inside of her rose to the level of the room.  She sighed and began unbuttoning her blouse as she stepped out of her shoes.  She rotated her ankles and slid her slacks down.


Clad in panties and bra, she was headed for the bathroom when she heard the knock.  Quickly she grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed and moved toward the door.  It was too dark in the hall to see through the peephole.  “Yes?”


“It’s me, Scully.”


She tightened the sash of her robe and opened the door.  “Mulder?”


He held up the white plastic card.  “I can’t get in my room.  Electronic locks.”


“Oh, I didn’t even think.  Well, come on in.”


His eyes moved over her, taking in the robe.  “Listen, I can - "


“You can come on in and wait for the power to be restored.  It’s okay.”


He took a seat at the small desk.  “Do you wear that for every power outage?”

Her eyebrow rose just as another clap of thunder drowned out her words.  She saw his flinch and decided against response.  “Get comfortable, Mulder.  It looks like you’ll be here awhile.”


He nodded and removed his suit coat and tie, unbuttoning the top couple of buttons on his shirt.  His shoes were next and then his damp socks.  “I appreciate this, Scully.”


She shrugged and opened the drapes all the way to let in what little light was available.


“Since we’re kinda stuck here, do you want to tell me what Incanto said to you?”


She sighed and returned to the bed, sitting Indian style.  “He was just so damn callus about what he’d done.  I know he killed those women, but he also hurt them.  They wanted to be with someone, to belong to someone.  They were shy women, insecure and he used that against them.  And then he told me he gave them what they wanted.  They displayed a little bit of trust and they died because of it.  What if I had answered an ad like that, what if - “


“But you wouldn’t answer an ad like that, and you’re not insecure.”


She looked up at him. “You really think that?”


“Of course I do.  I mean, look at you - you're beyond intelligent, you’re a professional, you handle everything I throw at you, you’re beautiful, you - " He stopped.


She was staring at him, her lips parted.  “Did you say beautiful?”


“You’re not going to press charges, are you?”


“Mulder, ninety percent of the time you don’t even know I’m female.”


“You don’t really believe that, do you Scully?”


She looked away then. “Those women just wanted what everyone wants; someone to care about them.  He preyed on that.  He used their vulnerability against them and they died in terror.”


“What did he say to you?”


She shook her head. “It wasn’t just him; Detective Cross’s tirade didn’t help.”


“Tirade?  What tirade?”


“That’s right, you weren’t there.  When I went in to do the autopsy on Lauren MacKalvey he was there.  He wasn’t happy that ‘a woman’ was observing the autopsy, and then, when he found out I was performing it . . . “ She shrugged.


“Why didn’t you say anything?”


“What good would it have done, Mulder?  It happens all the time.”


His eyes took in her appearance then, her posture, her look of weary acceptance and saw what this case had done to her.  “I’m sorry.”


“It’s certainly not your fault, Mulder.”


“No, but if you think I don’t notice most of the time that you’re female, I’m guilty too.”


She sank onto the foot of the bed.  “Guilty?  Of what?”


“Of not appreciating you.  Of not making sure you realize I couldn’t do this without you, maybe of not letting you know I wouldn’t want to.”


She blinked at him, seeming at a loss for words.


He grinned. “Now you really will file charges, won’t you.”


She shook herself slightly, as though waking up.  “I, uh, you don’t have to - “


“It’s true.  The fact that you came with me out here on this case . . . I do appreciate you, Scully.”


“Mulder, it’s my job.”


His face fell slightly.  “Right.  Well, thank you anyway.”


She knew she’d made a mistake, but she wasn’t sure how to correct it, or even if she should.  Before she could decide, he was reaching for his socks, draped across his shoes to dry.  “I should get out of here.  You’re probably tired.”


“You can’t get into your room,” she reminded him, not allowing herself to admit she really didn’t want to be alone once again.


He shrugged. “I’ll head down to the lobby, they’ll have some sort of key, or I can sack out on a couch.”


“There’s no need for that.  I’m sure the power will be on shortly.”


After a moment he nodded. “Why don’t you go on to bed?”


“It’s a king, Mulder.  Since you normally sleep on a couch, I figure you won’t take up that much space.”   Her eyebrow rose.


He grinned then, and answered quickly.  “Are you sure?”


“I am.  Remember, you don’t see me as a female, I’m your partner.”  She turned away then and missed the look of dismay on this face.  She moved toward the bathroom then, leaving the door opened a crack in order to stave off pitch darkness. 


When she emerged, wearing a t-shirt and some kind of short pants, he took his turn in the bathroom.  What he would give for a little more light.  She was under the sheet when he returned.  She couldn’t help her glance in his direction, and it was certainly warm enough to sleep in boxers. 


He caught the glance and hesitated for an instant.  Hell, he had nothing to be embarrassed about, he worked out and he knew that women checked him out on occasion.  Not Scully of course, but he could dream, couldn’t he.  He slipped under the covers and glanced over at her.  With the power still out, the darkness was nearly total.


“You’re sure about this, Scully?”


“Go to sleep, Mulder.”  She turned away from him.


He grinned, but made himself comfortable.  He wasn’t sleepy in the least and being in a bed with this woman wasn’t exactly non-stimulating.  With no TV or anything else to distract him, he let his mind wander.



He rolled toward her; it was dark, but he could sense her watching him.  “I guess I am having some trouble getting to sleep.”


“I know it’s early for you.” She rolled to her side as well, facing him.  “Maybe you should go down to the lobby.  I didn’t mean to force you to - “


“That’s not why I can’t sleep.”  His hand found hers and squeezed it lightly.




“It’s what you said, that you believe I don’t see you as female.”


“Muld - “


“I do.  You have to believe that.  In fact, I spend a lot of time thinking about it.  Truth is, I have to fight not to think about it.”


“What are you - “


“I thought you should know.  And I don’t only think of you as female, I think of you as a woman, a beautiful woman.”


She started to withdraw her hand, but his grip tightened, drawing hers to his lips and kissing it lightly.  He heard her quickly indrawn breath, but she wasn’t trying to move away from him now.  He continued to play with her fingers, while his other hand lightly touched her cheek.  In the dark, he explored her face as though blind.  He caressed the oh so expressive eyebrow, traced her nose, outlined her lips.  She made no protest, though he could hear that her breath had become shallow.  Her breath caught when he followed the rise of her collarbone and then on to her upper arm.  Her skin was smooth, soft but he knew the strength of the muscles just below.


He moved lightly down her arm to her wrist.  She didn’t even catch the movement, but suddenly his hand rested on her waist.  She shivered, but not from cold.  He hesitated, but she still hadn’t protested, so he allowed himself to indulge in his continued exploration.  Everything was quite chaste, her t-shirt still between them.  His hand moved slowly over the rise of her hip and down, finding the skin of her thigh.  It was silk.  Warm, smooth silky flesh - now it was his breath that was shallow.


Too much, he was going too far.  Reluctantly, he moved his hand away and was stunned when she moved closer, as though questing for his touch.  Silently she took his hand in hers and brought it between them, brushing it against her breasts.


That was no accident.  He allowed his hand to rest lightly on the curve of her breast.  She made a noise then, a . . . a purr and in the dark he smiled.  He let his finger outline her nipple, wishing the soft material would dissolve away.  As though granting his wish, she shifted and the t-shirt slipped over her head and fell away.


He closed his eyes a moment, sending a silent prayer of thanks to whatever gods might be listening, then rolled her gently onto her back and hovered over her.


He took his time, kissing her eyelids, retracing the trail his fingers had taken earlier, but not allowing himself her full lips - yet.


His lips moved along her shoulder, but then restraint seemed to leave him as she shifted under him, her breast brushing against his cheek.  Now that was an invitation.  His tongue laved one nipple while his fingers lightly squeezed the other.


Her moan drove all of his blood south in a surge as inevitable as the tides.  His hands found her waist and gripped it, then he fingered the elastic of her shorts.


Still silent, she lifted her hips slightly to enable him to remove her final garment.  The scent of her arousal went straight to his head.  Alcohol had never affected him this much.  Fox Mulder, drunk with delight - now there was a first.


Her hands were caressing the muscles of his back, kneading them, pulling him closer.  He had no desire to dispute her and obeyed.


Her hand snaked between them, and he hissed as her hand stroked his lower abdomen and followed the trail of hair down.  He grew even larger at her touch.  She wanted this?  She wanted him?


Her hand tightened around his cock.  This time it was he who moaned.  Damn he could feel her smile at that.


Her back arched, bringing him to her moisture.  His hand fisted in her hair and this time he didn’t hesitate to take her lips with his.  Her lips parted and his eagerly accepted the invitation.


His free hand cupped her ass and he began to enter her.  She pulled him closer, taking him inside her.  They both paused then. “Scully.”



“Um?  Did you say something?” 


“No, go back to sleep, Scully.”


“Um hum.”  In her sleep, she cuddled in closer to him and he relished it.  Holding her wasn’t as racy as his fantasy, but it was real, and she seemed to enjoy it.  Too bad he was too . . . he chuckled silently, too shy for this precious woman.


Holding her close like this gave him hope that someday . . . For now, he would try to let her know how important she was to him.



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Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended.