Silent Tears (NC-17)


Mulder stirred

 

 

Mulder stirred, something disturbing his sleep.  He didn’t quite wake, then slipped back under.  Almost immediately he heard it again, waking a little more this time.  What?  It, it sounded like crying.  It sounded like Scully crying.  That brought him the rest of the way up. 

 

Was Scully here?  Had she come over, upset?  He was out of the bed now, heading for the living room.  “Scully?  You here?”

 

There was no response.  “Scully?” he looked around the apartment, even ducking into the kitchen.  The place was empty except for him.

 

Had he dreamed it?  It had sounded like her.  It had sounded like Scully, crying.  He glanced at the clock on his microwave.  2:17 a.m.  No, it was late and it had obviously been a dream. 

 

He headed back to the bed and crawled in.  His eyes drifted shut, but before he got back to sleep he heard it again.  Damn it! He sat up.  That was Scully.  He grabbed up the phone.

 

He pressed the ‘1’ of his speed dial.  She answered too quickly, she hadn’t been asleep either.  “Hello?”

 

“Scully, are you okay?”

 

“What?  Mulder?  What time is it?”

 

“Early.  Are you okay?”

 

“I’m, I’m fine.”

 

“Right.  I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 

“Mulder, I said I was fine.”

 

“Yeah, I heard you.  Twenty minutes.”  He hung up, already reaching for his t-shirt and shoving on his shoes.

 

*****

 

He made it in 18 minutes.  He didn’t knock when he got to her door, instead using his key in case she had fallen back asleep.  But when he opened the door, he spotted her sitting on the couch, her arms around her knees, watching him.

 

“Uh, hi.”  He closed the door behind him.

 

“You are certifiable,” she said softly, not rising from her seat on the couch, though she did move her feet from the couch to the coffee table.

 

“Yeah, what else is new?”  He took a seat beside her, watching her.  She had tried to remove the traces of her tears, but her eyes were still red.  He gave her a minute, then settled back and looked at her.  “What happened?”

 

“Nothing happened.  Why are you here?” she turned away from him.

 

“You were crying.”

 

“How the hell - “

 

“I heard you.”

 

Her head came up suddenly as she turned to look at him, “What do you mean, ‘you heard me’? Have you bugged my apartment?”

 

“No!  Scully, you know better,” he glared at her.

 

“Well then, what do you mean?”

 

“I mean, I woke up from a sound sleep because I heard you crying.  Are you going to deny that’s what was going on?”

 

“How could - “

 

Why, Scully.  That’s the real question.”

 

She stared at him a moment in disbelief, but he just watched her. She was the one that turned away.  His hand came out and she glanced down at it.  She seemed to wilt beside him.

 

“Do you want me to leave?”

 

“No!  I, I’m sorry. Thank you for coming over here in the middle of the night.”

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, please.”

 

She sighed.  “Today would have been Emily’s birthday.”

 

He closed his eyes for an instant, Scully’s pain obvious.  “Scully, I’m sorry.  I didn’t - “

 

“I don’t think I ever told you her birthday.  I’ve acknowledged the day every year, but this year . . . “

 

“This year you couldn’t.”

 

Scully shook her head, emotion choking her again.  Mulder pulled her over to him and enfolded her against him.  She gave up her struggle then, sobbing into his chest.  His arms tightened around her and he let his cheek rest against her hair.

 

He let his eyes close again.  Why hadn’t he been able to foresee this?  It’s the kind of thing he should know.  It had never occurred to him to look up Emily’s birthday.  But this year, especially this year, he should have thought of it.

 

After the in-vitro had failed, she had been especially fragile. 

 

Had he really heard her crying from miles away? 

 

Her breathing was hitching now and she seemed calmer.  He looked down to check on her and she looked up at him.  His eyes focused on her lips and it seemed the most natural thing in the world for them to meet.  It was an innocent kiss, only a little longer than the one they had shared that New Year’s Eve a few years ago. 

 

He was the one that broke the kiss, meeting her eyes.  She looked startled, but she wasn’t pulling back.  “Am I going to get another right cross?”

 

Her expression softened at that.  She knew that was an hallucination he’d had before they had rescued him, but she cherished the memory.  Yes, he’d been drugged but he had told her he loved her.  “Why did you kiss me?”

 

“Wanted to.”  He pulled her back against him.  She was a little stiff now but it didn’t last.  She finally cuddled into him.  “You should go on to bed.”

 

“You shouldn’t drive back this time of night.”

 

He winked at her.  “Wasn’t planning to.  Can I borrow a pillow?”

 

“Of course you can.”  She started to rise, but he pulled her back once more and after the tiniest of hesitations, kissed her again.  She participated more this time, but it was her that broke the connection.  “I’ll get that pillow.”  Her head was down, not facing him now.

 

He let her rise then and watched her disappear into the bedroom.  He had been right to come over.  Had he really heard her crying?  Impossible, but he had.

 

*****

 

Mulder stretched and flipped off his screen, that was enough work for today.  “Want to get some dinner?”

 

She looked up startled.  “Dinner?”

 

“Yeah, it’s the evening meal, usually eaten following work.”

 

“I know what dinner is, Mulder.  Do you have something we need to work on?”

 

“No, I just thought we could grab a bite.”

 

“Actually I’d like to go home and take my shoes off.”

 

“That works.  I could grab some take out and meet you there.”

 

She looked at him for moment, calculating.  “I really appreciate that you came over last night, but I don’t need a babysitter.”

 

“Good, because I wouldn’t know how.  What I’d like is some company while I eat tonight.”

 

Scully rolled her eyes but he only grinned.  “I’ll pick up Thai and meet you at your place.  You can leave the shoes off and relax.” 

 

She started to respond but he didn’t give her the chance.  He stood up and grabbed his suit jacket off the back of the chair.  “Come on.”   His hand on her back led her toward the door. 

 

He accompanied her to her car and watched as she backed out.

 

She headed home and changed out of her suit and into something more comfortable.  She wasn’t sure what to think of Mulder’s insistence on coming over, but then he had said he heard her crying last night.

 

She pulled out dishes and started tea brewing.

 

He wasn’t that far behind her.  She hurried to answer his knock and took one of the bags he was holding.  “Thanks.”  He juggled the two remaining bags and followed her into the kitchen.

 

“What did you get?”

 

“Not that much.  Our dinners, then I stopped by the store and got a six pack and some dessert.”

 

She turned to look at him then.  “Are you kidding?”

 

He shrugged, grinning.  He looked over at the table then.  “China?”

 

“Not every meal has to be eaten out of Styrofoam, Mulder,” she said dryly and put her bag on the counter.

 

He chuckled, removing his jacket and his tie, then took the chocolate chocolate chip ice cream out of the bag and slipped it into her freezer.  He kept quiet though he did see the gleam in her eye when she spotted it.

 

They ate, keeping to small talk until she was full.  “This was good, Mulder.  I do appreciate it.”

 

“The evening isn’t over.  Why don’t you go take a bubble bath, Scully?  Relax.”

 

She blinked at that.  He really seemed determined to look after her.  “I might do that.  Let me finish cleaning - “

 

“I’ll do that.  Go on.  I can finish this up.  I can wash a couple of plates,” he said, watching her eyebrow start to rise.  “Go on.”

 

“You really don’t have to - “

 

“Let me.”  He turned her and gave her a slight push toward the bathroom.

 

Rather than ask him if he was losing his mind, and since a bubble bath did sound good, she didn’t protest.

 

She used her favorite bath oil.  It was expensive, but she was generous tonight.  She realized she needed to continue the pampering Mulder had started.

 

She tried to relax back into the heat, but something was missing.  It took a few minutes, but she realized that as relaxing as this was, she was lonely.  She shouldn’t have let him talk her into this so quickly.  It would have been nice to have Mulder hang around for a little while.  She could take a bubble bath anytime.

 

Finally she let the water out and dried herself off feeling vaguely disappointed and, and lonely.  She shrugged on her robe and tied it loosely around her.

 

With her shoulders slumped, she let herself out of the bathroom.

 

“That was a short bath.”

 

She jumped at the sound of his voice and automatically tightened the sash of her robe. “What are you - “

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.  I cleaned up the kitchen.”

 

He was here.  He was still here, looking after her.  Without thought she moved to him and her arms went around his waist.  There was no hesitation on his part as he enfolded her against him.

 

After a moment she looked up.  He met her eyes, watching her, not sure what was going on.  She rose up on her bare toes and kissed him.  It took him less than one heartbeat to catch up.

 

He paused as she broke the kiss, loosening his grip only slightly.  “Scully?”

 

“I’m sor- “

 

“No, don’t say that.”  He gave her a quick kiss and watched her lips curve up in a slight smile.  She didn’t look away, searching his eyes for something, she wasn’t sure what.

 

“You’re still here.”

 

“I wanted to . . . “

 

“What?”

 

He shrugged.  “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”  He watched her swallow convulsively, and forced himself not to pull her against him.

 

“Did you really hear me last night?”

 

He nodded, not sure if he could speak.

 

“Could you stay here again tonight?”

 

“Of course.”  He glanced toward the couch.

 

“No, in here,” she said softly, stepping away but taking his hand.  She turned toward the bedroom, tugging him with her.

 

He followed silently, wonderingly.  She stopped by the bed and turned back to him.  Her hand around his neck brought him back down to her lips.  “Scully?”

 

“You heard me crying.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Her hands slipped down his shirt and her fingers unbuttoned his top button.  His hand covered hers and his eyes asked the question.  The smile in her eyes reassured him and she continued.  He bit his lower lip when she pulled his shirt from his waistband and he ducked his head to assist her in pulling his t-shirt over his head.  Both items were laid across the chair.

 

Her touch was so light he wasn’t completely sure she had actually touched his chest or if it was just her energy he was feeling. Whichever, he wanted more.

 

He watched as she unbuckled his belt and pulled it from around him.  She lowered his zipper carefully and exposed his navy blue boxers with a lighter paisley design.  The significant tenting of those boxers seemed to relax her.  What, she didn’t realize how much he wanted her?

 

“Get rid of the shoes, Mulder.”

 

He took a seat on the bed and toed off his shoes without bothering to untie them, whipping off the socks quickly.  With her standing over him he reached for the tie of her sash.  He looked up, silently requesting permission which she granted with a tiny nod.

 

He opened the white terry cloth robe slowly, reverently and finally got to gaze upon her body.  She shrugged it off her shoulders and it pooled at her feet.  Her lips curved up slightly at the dilation of his eyes.

 

“Scu-Scully, why?”

 

“I want to be with you.  I have for a long time, but I didn’t let myself know it.  When I asked . . . when I asked you to father my child . . . “ she swallowed then, unable to continue.

 

His hand caressed her shoulder and down her arm.  Her shiver was slight, but he pulled her to him and she reclined beside him.  “I said yes.”

 

Her eyes filled, but no tears escaped.  He leaned over her and kissed her gently.  His hand lightly rested on her waist as she lay facing him.  “Are we, are we crazy?”

 

“Well, I’m pretty sure that for the first time since we’ve been together, everyone would consider you crazy instead of me.  For me, they’d just think I was unbelievably lucky,” he said watching her.

 

She gave him a gentle smile at that.  “As usual I disagree.”

 

He grinned and leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose and then her lips.  Things heated up quickly then as he tasted parts of Scully he thought he’d given up on. 

 

“God, are you going to wear those boxers all night?” she gasped.

 

He smiled and quickly divested himself of the offending garment.  The gleam in her eye sent joy throughout his body.  “I want you, Scully.”

 

She nodded.  “Good, because I want you, I want this.  Mulder, I need you.”

 

He nodded then.  They were together.  If he had anything to say about it, there would be no more silent tears from this woman.

 

 

~~~

 

 

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Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended.