"I always wanted to be invited over here for a nooner Scully." He leered at her.
"Were you followed?" She ignored his comment and he straightened up from where heíd been leaning against the doorframe. She was frightened.
"Scully? Are you okay?" She had the door opened now and rushed him inside, closing and locking the door behind them. She then went to the window and proceeded to view the street. He watched with growing concern and finally approached her. She jumped when he put his hand on her arm.
He immediately released her and stepped back. "No, itís okay, Mulder. I just, I overheard . . . "
"What? Does anyone know about you working with me?"
"No, no I donít think so. But I think maybe you were right." She proceeded to relate what she had overheard in the ladies room to him. She watched his face go carefully blank to hide what he was feeling. "Mulder?" She didnít remember sitting on the couch, but thatís where they were and she was now holding his hand. She could practically hear the thoughts racing through his brain.
"Well, now we know why the sloppy work was tolerated so well." He tried to make his voice light, but she already knew him better than that. It felt like sheíd always known him. She could already input his half of their debates without much trouble. She said nothing, just allowing him to fondle her hand and think his own thoughts for a moment.
"I think I should revert to my old ways for a while, Scully. Reassure the powers that be that good Ďole Spooky Mulder is no threat to them."
"Yeah," she said softly, "and the women at the Bureau have missed you a lot."
"Not that!" His hand tightened over hers, "The drinking Scully, I was talking about the drinking. The other, that was never me in the first place. I donít want . . . Scully, I donít want anyone else. But I canít let anyone know how I feel about . . . you wouldnít be safe."
She absorbed this in silence, the relief she didnít want to admit making her positively weak. "Mulder, I think maybe you better tell me a little more about the relationship you and I were supposed to have that I donít remember."
He nodded. A few weeks ago she wouldnít even have considered listening to this. His influence was again leading her to the dark side and he smiled grimly. "Iím not sure how much of this you want to hear."
"All of it. Everything you remember."
"But the memories canít be real Scully. My fatherís still alive, you were never missing those months from your life. Youíve never heard of Duane Barry. Itís all false and couldnít have happened."
"Unless this isnít real." She countered and without thinking he drew her to him. When she didnít protest he held her even tighter.
"Its real enough Scully. And Iím putting you in danger again. I should have known better than to involve you. Thatís just the kind of selfish bastard I am. I want you in my life so much that I . . . I better get out of here."
"No!" Now her arms tightened around him. "Why are you so sure Iíd be in danger?"
"Experience. Scully because of your relationship with me you were abducted and returned to me in a coma after being away for months. Your mother had life support removed, thatís how close I came to losing you. Then you found an implant in your neck and the removal of it caused you to develop inoperable cancer." Her eyes were wide, heíd been through all of this with her? "Another implant caused the cancer to go into remission. These people who donít want me to expose them always go for where it hurts the most. For me, thatís you. Scully," He was fondling her hand again and wouldnít look her in the eye. "In my reality your abduction, the tests they performed on you, caused you to be sterile. You canít have children. I donít want any of that for you. I should never have gotten close to you. Youíre much better off without me. At least this time they donít know about you. Iím going to keep it that way. Thanks for the help youíve given me, but this is it. Donít contact me, itís over." He dropped her hand and rose from his seat.
"The hell it is, Mulder!" She was on her feet too, eyes flashing with fury. He drew back, not the reaction he was expecting. "If you think you can dump me like last weekís bimbo, youíre not a bright as I thought."
"Iím, Iím not dumping you. Iím trying to protect you."
"You donít think Iím capable of that Agent Mulder?"
"Not against these people Scully. If they find out why my work has become respectable the players in this reality might not cut us the slack they did in the other one Ė they might just kill you outright and I canít handle that."
"What if we took more precautions, they donít know about me."
"Not good enough and we canít ever be sure. The work isnít worth it, it isnít worth you." She had no answer to that. She watched his eyes as he took her face in his hands. He was going to kiss her. He hadnít made any moves toward her before. To her surprise and, she realized, dismay, he tilted her head and pressed his lips against her forehead.
Then he was gone, slipping out the door before she could collect herself enough to react. He was leaving her, getting out of her life to protect her. No! She didnít want him out of her life. Oh good lord, she was falling in love with him. Hell, had fallen in love with him. He couldnít just vanish from her life. What could she do now?
She was watching for him when he came in the building the next morning. He looked like shit and was obviously hung over. She didnít approach him and he refused to acknowledge her.
Scully watched knowing nods and comments trail him to the elevator and several secretaries actually preened as though congratulating themselves that Fox might be back on track. She felt a nearly overwhelming urge to scratch some eyes out.
She stalked to her cubicle and attempted to shut this out of her mind. She was totally unsuccessful and finally admitted that after a couple of hours. He could kill himself drinking like that, especially now that he wasnít used to it. She stood up in her cubicle and grabbed her briefcase, actually kicking her trashcan on the way out. That caused several people to turn and look at her, but the expression on her face froze all comments.
He trudged toward his door. Heíd only had a couple of beers tonight; last night had done him in. Heíd have to get back in practice or at least learn to pretend to drink better. Oh, who gave a ratís ass? Certainly not him.
He opened the door, kicking the newspaper inside but not bothering to pick it up. "Youíre late."
His hand automatically drew his gun without conscious thought before he realized it was her. "What the fuck are you doing here! I thought I made myself clear."
"Oh you were clear enough, Agent. I just donít happen to agree, so tonight you hear my side."
"What if someone saw you come in here? How did you get here?"
"The metro and then a taxi. I was careful Mulder."
"You donít get it, you donít know what danger youíre in!"
She ignored that comment. She hadnít bothered to rise from the couch and now he loomed over her. "Get out of my apartment."
"The way I see it," she spoke as thought he hadnít, "weíre destined to be together. In your reality we built up a relationship, friendship, whatever you want to call it over time Ė growing closer, counting on each other. In this reality itís taken a lot less time but I feel closer to you than anyone else I know, anyone else I want to know. Maybe you think you can walk away from that Ė I canít."
"You donít have a choice." His voice was low. He pulled her to her feet and his hands now gripped her shoulders as though he would physically throw her out. Her hands were flat on his chest, but not pushing him away. He realized he was focusing on her lips, bending down toward them and they most amazing thing was that she was moving toward him as well.
When their lips met he felt a surge of energy like heíd never even imagined possible. He had her pressed up against him now and felt her mold herself to his body, her arms wrapped as tightly around him.
When they separated slightly for a breath. "I think youíre right about one thing Mulder. We donít have a choice."
He just looked at her, absorbing her words. Then she had control of his lips again. "Scully. Scully, I canít . . . "
"Yes Mulder, you can. Iím not leaving here." The anguish on his face almost changed her mind. He was that frightened for her? "Mulder, together we can Ė"
"Together is how weíre most vulnerable. I should never have kissed you."
"Because I donít think I can stop." That caused a smile to begin to form on her face. "What did you mean you werenít leaving here?"
She could feel her face heat up at his regard. "I meant we needed to discuss this more thoroughly. You needed to hear my side. I didnít . . . I wasnít . . . " Mulder was just staring at her. "Say something."
She thought for a moment that he was going to cry. Instead he took a deep breath, "I donít know if I can be strong enough to push you away. Maybe I should wish to be switched back to my own dimension and not have to deal with this. That Scully wouldnít want to get this close to me after everything Iíve done to her life and your real Mulder wouldnít be a danger to you."
"And neither of us would be as fulfilled or happy?"
"I was happy with the other Scully." Her eyebrow rose. "Okay, as happy as I could be under the circumstances. Damn it Scully!" He drew her to him again. "Youíll ruin everything if you care about me."
"Then everythingís already ruined." She stated simply, enjoying the feel of him around her. "I want to stay here tonight." He drew back at that, gaping at her. "Is the idea that repugnant?" She finally asked, embarrassment beginning to grow at his continued silence.
"You want to stay here? With me? Scully, Iím not sure what that means."
She swallowed, this was so far outside her normal way of life. But her life had been upside down since this man had come to her and asked for her help. Heíd made her a whole person, made her work exciting again, and now had made her want him as a man. She straightened her spine, she might as well jump in with both feet. "I want to make love with you."
For an instant she thought he would bolt and run. She could feel her self-confidence develop a leak and start to deflate rapidly. "Scully." She could barely hear him. "Donít let me be dreaming. Please donít let this be a dream."
"Itís not Mulder." She said gently. Her hand was again on his chest, this time pushing him down on his couch. "You willing to listen to me now?" At his nod she sat beside him.
"Iíll be careful, and you can do your drunk act. But look at things Mulder, in both realities we end up together. Bow to the inevitable and letís learn caution from what we know. Donít push me away Mulder, we need each other."
He closed his eyes, as much to block the sight of her as anything. No choice. If he hadnít approached her, gotten her help, would they still have found each other somehow? It was certainly beginning to feel like it. She sat silently waiting for him to come to the same conclusion she had. He was fighting it more, but she wasnít willing to lose this battle. There was something inevitable about all of this. They belonged together Ė cosmically. She wanted to laugh at herself, she didnít believe that kind of thing, except . . . nevermind, sheíd study that phenomena in her spare time.
Right now? Right now she was with Mulder. Enough said. She pulled him down as she reclined on the couch, enjoying the weight of him on her body. When she became aware that her blouse was untucked and several buttons unbuttoned she moved under him until she was at his ear.
"Do you have any protection?"
"Thereís no indication in this reality that Iím sterile."
His face sobered immediately. "Oh god, I hadnít . . . I donít even know my own sexual history."
"Then we should use caution, we should probably both be tested. But not tonight. Tonight I donít want to be practical or even sensible. I want to be with you."
He closed his eyes. This was a mistake, but how could it be? This was Scully and she wanted him. He almost felt sorry for that other Mulder trapped on the other side. Then she had his lower lip between her teeth and the higher functions of his brain shut down. Lack of blood flow no doubt. He was positively aching for her. It had been so damn long.
She was thinking the same thing as he ground himself into her. She hoped she could remember how to do it, but she was pretty sure he knew. In fact she was willing to put money on it now that he had her blouse open, biting tenderly on her nipples through the lace. Then that barrier was gone and he was laving her breasts with his tongue. She was whimpering; it wasnít enough. She wanted, no she needed, more of him.
He understood, since he felt the same and raised his head to kiss her lips again before rising to remove his tie and shirt. He had a beautiful body. She couldnít keep her hands from it, smiling slightly at his hiss when her fingers brushed his nipples. She trailed her fingers down his chest slowly as he tried to remember the art of breathing. When her hand reached his waistband he grabbed it. "Scully, itís not too late."
"Mulder, it was too late the moment we were born." Since there was no response to that he let go of her hand. She unbuckled his belt and pulled it slowly from the loops. He knew then that his control was gone, given completely to her.
She unbuttoned his slacks and carefully lowered his zipper, a task made more dangerous by the second. He stood to allow her to lower his slacks and boxers to the floor. What he didnít expect was her luscious lips closing around him. He had to grasp her shoulder and the back of the couch to remain upright.
"Just relax Mulder." He wanted to close his eyes, to concentrate fully on the sensation, but he needed just as much to watch her, to see Scully do this with him. The hand on her shoulder moved down taking her breast in his caress. Her lips tightened as she took as much of him in her mouth as she could. He tried not to thrust into her mouth as she alternately sucked and tortured him with her tongue. Her hands were now fondling his balls and he knew if he didnít put a stop to this and now, it would be too late.
He gathered his strength and retreated from her. "No, no Scully."
"Itís okay. I want to." He shook his head and drew her to her feet.
"I want in on this." His hands under her arms lifted her to stand on the couch, where she clutched his shoulders as he lowered her slacks. When his hands grazed the elastic on her panties he looked up at her.
She nodded at him but still he hesitated. "Mulder?"
He laid his head gently against her stomach. "Oh Scully." She placed her hands over his and helped him lower the damp silk. He pulled her against him, burying his face between her breasts, then taking turns kissing them, nuzzling them.
"Mulder, I think we need to find a bed." He nodded in complete agreement, knowing heíd burst if he didnít do this soon. He lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom, laying her gently on his bed.
He started to pull back from her and she grabbed him. "Please."
"The protection." She nodded with her eyes and he moved to his dresser. When he returned she reached for it.
"Yes Mulder. We can play later; right now I need you. I need to feel you in me."
He drank in her eyes, quenching his soul for the first time ever. He allowed her control again and shuddered as she sheathed him, twitching in her hands. She pulled him to her, over her, taking over his mouth, dueling with his tongue as he took in the taste of him in her mouth.
She had hold of him again as he nipped at her breasts and moved down, forcing her to release him as he sucked at her navel. "Mulder." She was pleading with him now; she wanted him so much she would beg? Oh god.
He came back to retake her lips and she began guiding him where she longed for him to be. She brushed him through her curls as she stimulated her own juices with him. His size unnerved her, but at the same time she knew he would never hurt her.
She brushed that bundle of nerves again and his fingers joined the fun. Now Mulder, damn it or sheíd die from sheer anticipation! He sensed her need matched his own and slowly began entering her. She tensed for a second, then released herself to him. Whatever he wanted was his. She arched to bring him deeper, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Oh Scully." His last coherent words as he began to move slowly in her. She had been created for this, for him. He couldnít imagine ever leaving her body. It was where he belonged. Long swift strokes bringing him deeper each time, burying himself in her, never to be unearthed again.
With a gasp she was coming, convulsing under him, around him, throughout him. He lost all senses except where she existed, thrusting once, twice and then joining her in whatever galaxy she had led him to. Knowing that she would understand his cries though the rest of the world never would.
He lay spent watching her leaning over him, her fingers trailing through his chest hair. She looked up at him. "What?"
She blushed slightly. "Now that you know Iíll have to kill you."
"I think you already did."
"Oh I donít know. Part of you seems to be resurrecting itself fairly rapidly."
"Youíre kidding, right?"
"Oh, Iíll give you a little time to reload, but not long." He just stared at her, wide-eyed. Scully?
She stayed the night; her excuse was that it was better not to be seen coming and going too much. Yeah, sure, whatever. Just as long as she was here with him.
What the hell was he doing in Viola, Idaho with Diana? He wanted to be home with Scully. Dangerous thinking, but honest. This was no X-File, Diana had found it. No doubt it was sanctioned to get him out of town and away from any real investigating he could do.
Diana slipped into the chair beside him, back from the ladies room. "Fox, you really should try to be a little more diplomatic with local law enforcement. We do need their help. Cordiality wouldnít hurt either."
He almost yelped as her hand wrapped around his thigh and squeezed. "Damn it Diana. Stop that." He pulled her hand from his leg and literally threw it down on the table in front of them.
The look on her face was anything but friendly. He was acting so differently. Her superiors were furious and she had to find out what had happened.
He moved his chair farther from her and finished his meal in silence. He rose as soon as she finished her last bite. "Letís get back to the motel, I want to go for a run." I need to, is what he should say. His body had reverted to being seventeen and hormone overloaded again just being with Scully. The run would be better than a cold shower.
He returned to the room following his run much more centered and relaxed. It wasnít as good as being with Scully, but since that wasnít an option . . . He was half way across the room, headed toward his bathroom when he heard her.
"Fox? I donít mind sweaty men. Come here." She was on his bed, Diana, lying there nude.
"What the hell are you doing in here? How did you get in?" He knew heíd made sure the connecting door was locked on his side.
"Come on Fox. Itís seen a long time for both of us. We used to be very good at this."
He was standing there looking at her, appalled. What had he ever seen in her? His body felt no hint of arousal. She was watching him, becoming more and more uncomfortable. What was going on, heíd always been turned on by nudity. Now, now it looked as though he loathed her. She quickly drew her robe up to her and slipped it on.
"Fox," He almost corrected her. Mulder, he went by Mulder, but then he realized thatís what Scully called him. He didnít even want to hear the word from her lips. "What is it? Weíve been together for years, weíre partners. Whatís going on?"
"I grew up, Diana. I couldnít stay that immature forever and I grew up to everyoneís apparent dismay. Get out of my room."
"You donít mean that."
"Believe me, I mean it." He held the door open for her and stood by it as she walked out. He threw the bolt at the top and checked the connecting door again. Never again! If he ever had to travel with her again they would not have connecting rooms. He headed for the shower, feeling dirtier than he had when heíd first returned from his run.
He came back in the room with a towel around him, drying his hair. God, he wanted to talk to Scully. But it wasnít safe. He couldnít contact her when he was out of town. If something like that were traced theyíd be on her in a minute. Damn! He stretched out on the bed after pulling the spread off and tossing it to the other side of the room. He didnít even want to lie where sheíd been.
How many years had she been betraying him? Going behind his back to make certain that his investigations were meaningless. Well, the other Mulderís investigations, but he was here now. Heíd never trust her again.
The next morning he knocked on her door, dressed and ready. "I just wanted you to know Iím headed back for Washington. Thereís no X-File here. Iím packed and the carís loaded. Do you want to go or ride to the airport with me to bring the car back?"
"Fox? What are you talking about? Thereís possible abductions going on here. We need to Ė "
"Nothing is going on here beyond possibly a high school hoax. Thereís no evidence of a real abduction and I have work to do in DC."
"Fox." She reached out to place her hand on his arm and he drew back. Her eyes grew icy, "Fine. Itíll take me a few minutes to pack and we can fly back together. Do you want to call the sheriff or shall I?"
"I already have, to let him know I was leaving. If you want to let him know you are as well, fine. Iíll wait in the car." He turned and walked away from her without another word.
She seethed in the doorway for a moment, then slammed the door and went to pack. Her superiors were going to go ballistic. She was supposed to keep him out of town for several days. What was going on with him? He was sober and as far as she could find out not seeing anyone. That made no sense. Heíd never gone this long without a woman and she was willing to bet without a drink as well.
Fine, if he didnít want to work on her investigations, sheíd make him hers. Something drastic had changed and she had to get to the bottom of it. He was becoming too dangerous to keep around.
She made two phone calls before joining him in the car. She hadnít been completely honest about why they were returning early. She had to protect herself. She also wanted more freedom of movement to find out what was happening.
After a couple of days she was fairly certain if he was seeing anyone she didnít work at the Bureau. He was being such a good boy. Mildly flirting with almost every woman but no sparks with any of them. He was going home every night, unless he was drinking there, and that didnít seem likely. Heíd never wanted to be alone, hence the bar and the women. After they had drifted apart heíd always played the field, which was fine with her. He wasnít tied to anyone and they had remained partners and available to each other.
Now, after the fiasco in Idaho she was positively embarrassed to be around him. A feeling that was very foreign to her. He'd pay for it. No one treated her this way.