The
baby's cries woke her, and Mae tapped on the door with him in her arms. “Dana? You
awake?”
“Yeah.” She pulled herself into a seated position. “Where’s Mu - David?”
Mae
settled the baby in Dana’s arms. “Oh,
when I got here he said he needed to run an errand.
I shouldn't have anyone else delivering anytime soon. My other Moms aren’t even as far along as you
were. I told him to go ahead, I could stay
here for a little while. Let me get you some
water.” When she returned she sat on the
bed and watched the baby suckle. “How
are you feeling Dana?”
“Tired,
a little sore, but good.”
“What
about David?”
“Why
do you ask?” She sat up straighter at
the question and the baby protested.
“I
don’t know, he looked a little traumatized. I’m
sure it wasn’t easy for him earlier, but I was hoping he would have calmed down by
now. I think you’re both doing very
well.”
Dana
relaxed a little. “It was difficult for
him. He was afraid of . . . of doing
something wrong. He’s probably still
having ‘what ifs’.”
Mae
nodded, “That’s probably it. He . .
. he wouldn’t be out having a drink?”
“No. He did have an errand. Today kind of got away from us. What time is it anyway? I’ve been busy.”
Mae
chucked. “True. It’s a little after 5 in the evening. A busy day for you.” They both looked up as they heard the front door
open and Dana breathed a sigh of relief that he was home.
The thought of what he had been doing, alone, was painful. To be honest, it was frightening.
He
joined them in the bedroom, but stood silently watching this woman with their child. After a long moment Mae moved back to the bed. “Do you want me to take him?”
“I’ll
take him.” Mulder moved forward and took
the baby. Mae watched him but made no
comment.
“We
named him.”
Mae
turned back to Dana, smiling. “Wonderful!
What did you decide on?”
“William
David. After his father, and mine.”
“I
like it. Why don’t I go fill out the
birth certificate?”
“Yeah,
that’s a good idea.” Mulder
answered her.
Mae
nodded and slipped out of the room. She’d
obviously never been as close to him as she was to her patient, but right now she was
actually uncomfortable around the man. He’d
always been quiet, withdrawn. When Dana had
joined him here he had loosened up, seemed happy - no, elated that she was with him. Now, Mae realized, she was scared for the man. Had he seen Dana’s mortality? Was that it?
Mae
shook her head and pulled out the form. She’d
be by to check on them. Dana and the baby
were doing well; she was being totally honest with them on that point. But something was making her uneasy. It wouldn’t hurt to drop by.
Mae
left as soon as they had signed the form. When
she had returned to the room they had been sitting in the bed. He was holding both of them. Stroking her hair. But both of them had seemed far away even as they
touched each other.
She
had been wrong. Yes, they were far away, but
not from each other. In fact they were
surprised to realize there were other people in the universe when Mae had reentered the
room.
Mulder
let Mae out and dished up the dinner he had brought home, then rejoined her. “I can come to the table.”
“I
know.” He handed her the bowl of rice
and vegetables that was her favorite. She
smiled up at him and patted the bed beside her.
They
ate in silence, bodies in contact, as they had been when Mae observed them. When he took the dish from her and rose, she put
out her hand to stop him. “We need to
talk.”
He
nodded, but kept moving. When he returned he
tossed off his clothes and climbed into the bed with her.
His need to feel her against him suddenly critical.
“Mulder?”
“I
sent . . . everything to the guys. I gave
them some instructions but they probably know enough people to come up with things I
didn’t think about.”
“Are
you okay?”
He
gave an unamused laugh at the question, and didn’t bother to answer directly. “Get some rest. The crown prince will no doubt be wanting your
attention soon.”
“I
love you Mulder.” His response was to
pull her closer and kiss the top of her head. It
was enough, she knew how he felt. She curled
into him and closed her eyes. Whatever else,
she was in his arms.
It
was late the next morning when his cell phone rang.
They were both in the kitchen, Will dozing in his seat on the counter. They froze and looked at each other, then he was
moving, snatching up the phone.
“Yes.” He held the phone so that they both could hear.
“Is
she . . .?”
It
was Byers’ voice and Dana heard the panic clearly.
“I’m fine.”
“Praise
God.” That was Frohike’s voice and
Dana smiled at the heart-felt sentiment.
“You
have the package.”
“Yes
and the instructions. We just had to . . .
“
“I
understand. It was the second; the first is .
. . “ He looked down at her, searching for a word.
“Perfect
and healthy.” She spoke into the phone
but was watching him. He nodded and held her
to him.
“Okay,
we’ll get to work.” Byers spoke
again. He understood why no more could be
said.
“You
look after her.” Frohike’s voice
was clear and forceful.
“I
will.” Then Mulder broke the connection. Dana was watching him. She wanted to offer him the comfort he was giving
her, but he was building a wall around himself, being strong for her. She couldn’t let it go on much longer.
*****
They
settled into a pattern, being a family. He
was quiet, like when they had first met, but his arms were always available to hold her or
the baby, and give her at least the illusion of safety.
Will
had drifted off to sleep while she held him and she rose to put him in his crib. Mulder looked up and watched her walk into their
bedroom. He waited, expecting her to return
immediately. The time stretched and a frown
appeared on his face. He rose and headed
toward the bedroom himself.
She
was standing over the crib, watching Will sleep he thought at first. When he stood beside her he realized she was
gripping the side of the crib, trying to keep from shaking.
“Doc?” He whispered it so as not to disturb the baby, but
he turned her taking her into his arms. “What’s
wrong?”
“Why
haven’t we heard anything? Why . .
.?” He tightened his hold on her and led
her from the room. “Mulder, why
haven’t they called?”
“I
don’t know, but it’s something I can change right now.” He reached for his cell phone with his free hand.
“No,
it could be too dangerous.”
He
shook his head. “I should have done this
sooner. Doc, don’t keep things from me. I need to know how you feel. I thought I was protecting you.”
She
shook her head and leaned against him. He
kissed the top of her head and for an instant let guilt over what he had done to this
woman engulf him again. Then he took a deep
breath and dialed the special number they had given him.
“Yeah?” It was Langly’s voice.
“We
need that information.”
Mulder
could almost feel the man tense up. “Give
us 30, we need to add some protection.” The
phone went dead in his hand.
He
lowered the phone and at her puzzled look spoke softly, not releasing her. “They want to make sure the calls aren’t
traceable. They’ll call back soon.”
She
just closed her eyes and his guilt rose another notch.
He
wasn’t really surprised when the phone rang only ten minutes later. “Hello?”
“We
can talk now.” Byers had placed the
call. “But we don’t have as much
information for you as we had hoped.”
“What’s
wrong?” Dana spoke before Mulder could.
“The
uh, the information we have is . . . this is hotter than anything we’ve ever handled. The people we would normally go to for help just .
. . we don’t trust anyone with this kind of
information. If it should be traced back to
you . . . we can’t take that risk.”
Dana
and Mulder looked at each other. “Thank
you.” She spoke softly and he pulled her
against him again.
“Well,
we’re in your hands guys. Any
suggestions?” Mulder finally asked.
“We’re
learning as we go, our education wasn’t really geared in this direction.”
“Do you need someone with my educational back-ground?” Dana asked quickly.
“No. That is out of the question. No!” Mulder
look down at her, his face a mask to hide his emotions.
“We
have to know. If I can help in that . . . Mu
- It’s only data, I can handle looking at data.”
Their
friends were silent. They understood how he
felt about this, but they did need help. They
were way over their heads in the genetic codes and DNA.
Asking her was not something they were comfortable with, but the decision
not to go outside of their small group had been unanimous.
“I
think it’s a bad idea.”
She
nodded, accepting his statement, then spoke into the phone, “Send the information as
soon as possible.” She stood and walked
into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
There
was a long silence but Byers was not going to disturb it.
Finally Mulder took a deep breath, “Do as she says. And thank you for protecting us.” The connection was broken and Byers closed his
eyes as he collapsed back into his chair. Langly
and Frohike exchanged looks but no one spoke.
He
actually tapped on the bedroom door, not sure if he would be welcome. She opened the door surprised. “Are you through?”
“Is
that why you left? To let me talk to
them?”
“Of
course. I know how much you want to protect
me. Did you . . . did you think I was walking
away? That I was angry? Oh Mulder, not at you, never at you.”
He
lowered his forehead to hers and let his fingers outline her cheeks and lips. “I don’t deserve you.”
She
led him back to the living room, pulling the bedroom door nearly closed behind them and
sat him on the couch. Then she crawled into
his lap and held him. “I need you to
snap out of this Mulder. This is not your
fault.”
“Not
my fault? I explode into your life from
nowhere, literally. I get you pregnant, I
abandon you, when I return I drag you away from everything, everyone you know, you
can’t even go to a hospital to give birth - I end up . . . you should have had better
care, and then . . . “
“Yes,
you explode into my life, saving me from a mugger. You
make love to me, at my instigation, then you leave town temporarily to make sure that
I’m safe and the military doesn’t discover that I know you. When you return you ask me to come with you and
share your new life and I accept - knowing that I want to be with you more than anyone
else in the world. When our baby starts to
come prematurely and the midwife can’t get here in time you deliver our baby and
probably save both of our lives. Then while
I’m passed out, you have to handle an even more horrendous task - alone.”
“You
paint too pretty a picture of me.”
“I
see you as you really are. What bothers me
the most is that I don’t make you happy. You’ve
given me everything - your love, our son, my life. But
I seem to only bring you guilt and unhappiness.”
“No! That’s not true. I bring the guilt on myself. You only bring me happiness. I just wish I deserved it.”
“Mulder
- “
“I
know nothing about my life before you - except that I don’t deserve you.”
“Why? Why do you feel like that?”
“I’ve
read my file. Doc, I was a joke. They called me Spooky Mulder. They sent me out ghostbusting, checking out
. . . weird things - not real cases. I
couldn’t keep a partner, no friends that I can remember - at least none that missed
me enough to check when I disappeared. No
family - “
“You
have one now.”
He
did smile then. “Yes, I have one
now.”
“Dwell
on that Mulder. Let me make you happy. Let me love you.”
“Doc,
what scares me is that you might some day stop.”
“Well
you can quit being scared about that right now. You’re
stuck with me, with us. We have a child
together Mulder. No matter what, we’re
joined.”
He
buried his face in her hair, just holding her.
*****
The
information arrived late the next day at a prearranged drop off. He hated even bringing it into the house. She was waiting and she didn’t want him
protecting her this way. She was a strong
woman, stronger than him. She’d proven
it over and over.
He
squared his shoulders and let himself in. She
was cooing to the baby, playing with him on the couch.
“Look, Daddy’s home.” She
held the boy up. The baby gurgled at him and
Mulder took him into his arms after he dropped the package on the table. “Hi Boy.
Miss me?”
“We
both did. I’m spoiled being home with
you.”
She
rose, leaving her boys together as she picked up the package. She watched them as she opened it. He was fascinated by this life they are created. Of course both of her men were fascinated with her
breasts, but nothing was wrong with that. Just
looking at the child did make him happy, that was plain to see. She felt her own smile grow.
Finally,
she forced her attention to the papers in her hand.
She found herself quickly fascinated by the information she was
reading. Keeping herself in doctor mode
allowed her to review the data with detachment.
Mulder
looked up as she booted up the computer. It
looked as though she had completely forgotten they were in the room.
That
became the pattern then. When she was working
on the computer he bonded with his son and did the laundry and housework. These things weren’t completely unfamiliar to
him, but he’d never worked to her standards before.
Occasionally he would stop and watch her, her glasses on her head to be
slipped down over her eyes at a moment’s notice, flipping between printouts and the
computer monitor. She hadn’t shared a
lot of information and he found he didn’t really want to know. He was happy, truly happy, and pushed aside any
thoughts of that ending. She loved him, it
was insane on her part, but it was a fact.
He
was putting Will down when he heard her. He
hurried back into the living room. “You
okay?”
“Yes!” Her smile was beaming. “The guys just emailed me the results of the
paternity test.”
“Pa
. . . paternity?” He was stunned and it
showed.
“Don’t
worry.” She was kissing his face. “There was never any doubt about Will. You were always the only possibility there.” She felt him relax slightly. “But I had Byers check the DNA for all three
of us. It took awhile because of the privacy
issue. Mulder, the other . . . none of your
DNA was there. None of mine either. Mulder, you and I did not create . . . that. I don’t know how . . . Mulder, you and I had
a healthy baby and we can have more.”
“More? You’d have more children with me?”
“Of
course I would. Did you think -?“
“It
. . . it never occurred to me that you would go through that again. I . . . I -“
“Mulder,
make love with me.”
“Wha
. . . Doc, I want you. You know that, but no. Not tonight.
Your body’s not ready - “
“Not
ready for one of your marathons maybe.” She
smiled up at him as the color rose in his face, “but I know how gentle you can be. We can take it slow, but I need you. Will’s asleep.”
“You’re
serious.”
She
smiled as she realized her suggestion had caused a reaction, regardless of his words. “Very serious.” She led him into the bedroom.
She
was up before him the next morning and greeted him with a beautiful smile when he emerged
from the bedroom wearing only his boxers. He
met it with one of his own. There was nothing
this woman couldn’t do.
He
got his robe while she served up breakfast and actually got to eat most of it before Will
made his presence known. While she was
nursing she glanced over and caught him massaging his forehead. “Mulder?
You okay?”
He
nodded his head, “Just a little headache.”
“Isn’t
that my line, and wasn’t I supposed to use it last night?”
He
gave her that fake smile and chuckle and she dropped it, but noticed he took a couple of
aspirin. She couldn’t remember him ever
taking anything before. He was
extraordinarily healthy.
Relax
Dana, she told herself. It’s just a
little headache. She finished nursing Will,
then gave him his bath. She had the baby
dressed when she spotted Mulder rubbing his head again.
“Mulder,
I’m going to put Will down. Why
don’t you take a nap too?”
“You’re
the one that needs her rest.”
“Just
for a couple of hours, okay? I’ve got
some things I can check on the computer.”
“You
wouldn’t mind?” That scared her
though she hid it. He was hurting more than
she realized.
“No,
I wouldn’t mind.” She kissed him as
she headed to the bedroom. She wanted to help
him to his feet, but he would never allow that. When
she got the baby down she moved over to the bed and kissed him, pulling the covers back
over him. She tossed his robe to the foot of
the bed and slipped out of the room, pulling the door almost closed.
She’d
been working about twenty minutes when she heard the door open. She looked over at the sound and was immediately
on her feet. He was clutching his head,
unsteady on his feet. “Mulder, let me
help you.”
She
had her arm around him, but he staggered and went down.
She couldn’t hold him and found herself with him on the floor, him on
hands and knees. He sank on down, curling
into a fetal position. "Mulder!" She had his head in her lap, checking his pulse.
"Doc." It was a groan.
"Don't
try to talk."
"I
remember."
"What? What do you remember?"
"You." And he lost his grip on consciousness.
*****
When
he came to he was still on the floor, now covered by a blanket. His head was no longer cradled in her lap, but
resting on a pillow. There was a blood
pressure cuff on his arm.
"Mulder,
can you hear me?" His eyes focused on
her. "How many fingers am I holding
up?"
"Three." He started to rise.
"Don't. Mulder just lie still."
"I'm
better Doc." Her eyes showed how little
she believed that. He smiled at her but it
faded, just gazing into her, seeing deep inside of her.
"Mulder?" Her voice shook slightly.
He
nodded and allowed her to help him to his feet. She
led him to the bedroom and had him recline on the bed, then pulled the covers over him. He realized he was still only in his boxers. He closed his eyes, trying to organize his
thoughts. When he opened them again he saw
her fear plainly etched on her face. He took
her hand and drew her close to him. She came
willingly needing to feel his arms around her.
"I
remember you." He whispered into her
hair.
"How?"
"It's
all back. The block they put on me - it's
gone."
"You
remember everything?" She pulled back
slightly to see his face. He nodded and
pulled her back against him.
"It
had to be when you were missing. Skyland
Mountain." She shuddered slightly and
burrowed into his chest. He tightened his
hold of her. "There's no record, I must
not have been missing that long, but I was there. There
were . . . beings. Like the other, adults. I don't know what they were doing to me." He shook his head.
"It doesn't matter. They
were moving me; allowing me to walk, exercise. I
don't know. Two of them were with me, not
speaking. They never spoke aloud. We were passing a cubicle and I heard a woman
scream. I heard you scream. I didn't hesitate, I just moved toward you. It caught my escorts off guard, but I was already
beside you.
"One
of them grabbed me. They're strong Doc. I knew I didn't have a chance. But then one of two with you stopped him. They let go of me and all four of them left the
room.
"You
were hysterical. I don't think you even
realized I was human at first. You were in
too much pain. They had, they had hurt you. It took hours for you to calm down enough to let
me touch you. I was . . . I was wearing a
little less than I am now. You . . . you
were nude. There was nothing to cover you
with, but I'm not sure you were even aware in the beginning."
Her
breathing was shallow and her fingers were pressing into his skin. "Doc, they never came back. They let me stay with you. We were together in that room for what had to be
days. Food appeared, but we were left alone. When you could talk . . . Doc you were so strong. You began to trust me, let me help you, hold you. There was only the one table in the room. We . . . we shared it. You slept on . . . on me, but nothing happened
except that I saw how beautiful your body is. We
were there for each other. You were the only
human I saw. We talked; we shared our lives
for those few days. Once the original trauma
faded and you got to know me, trust me, we . . . we got close. Doc, I fell in love with you then - for the first
time."
There
were tears in her eyes now, but she didn't speak.
"Then
I woke up in my apartment. You were gone from
my memory. I didn't remember any of it. I didn't remember you. But it didn't last.
Okay, it lasted for a couple of years, but even when I didn't remember, I
was . . . I was drawn to redheads." He
gave her a slightly embarrassed grin then.
She
tried to reciprocate. "I don't know what
brought it back. Maybe I saw you, maybe a
picture of you. I don't know. But I had to find you. I went back to Skyland Mountain - that was my
mistake. I went to them, I went unprepared. And this time they took it all away."
"I
don't . . . Mulder, I don't remember any of this."
"I
know. Doc, it was too traumatic. But they . . . they did something to you. They implanted that . . . that thing."
She
was watching his eyes. "And my, my real
pregnancy triggered . . . "
He
nodded, "I think so."
They
just held each other then, until Will stirred wanting to be fed.
Once
he was settled again, she was centered enough to continue their conversation. "Are you in danger, now that you remember
again?"
"No. I won't be making the same mistakes again. I'm not looking for them anymore. I have you, and Will. I don't want anything else. Let someone else save the world from ET."
"Will
the military leave you alone?"
"If
we handle it right."
"Handle
it? Do you think they'll find us here?"
"Maybe
not here, but I need to take you home. You
need to see your parents, your family. And
they should meet Will."
"No. I want to see them, I do, but not at the expense
of your safety. I won't."
"It
will be okay. We have help. I'm not leaving you. And I won't let you be taken from me ever again.
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